


Snow Crystals (RP Edition)

by AwesomerArtie, Ledge, PunctuationPoint



Series: Last of The Walking Dead (RP Edition) [2]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games), The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, Divergent Storyline, F/F, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, RP Edition, double trouble part 2, holy shit there's still walkers and infected, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 82,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomerArtie/pseuds/AwesomerArtie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ledge/pseuds/Ledge, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunctuationPoint/pseuds/PunctuationPoint
Summary: With the Saviors taking over Jackson, living a normal life has become all but impossible. Clementine struggles to survive outside the walls, while Lee tries everything to find her again. And with Ellie being forced to move on from her best friend, finding peace again feels unobtainable.
Relationships: Clementine (Walking Dead)/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: Last of The Walking Dead (RP Edition) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797388
Comments: 12
Kudos: 7





	1. Rocks

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to part 2 of the Last of the Walking Dead series! A few quick notes before we get into this: Since posting the novelization for this story, and with some folks saying that they preferred the RP format, I have decided to continue the RP Edition tradition for Snow Crystals. You will find them both here, and they'll be updated at the same time with each new release.
> 
> Now, for this release, I am doing these scenes in the order they were done in the RP, which means this first chapter will be brand new for you folks, and will be included in the next release for the novel. There also won't be the additional scenes added from TLOU 2 from the novelization, as those didn't happen in the RP.
> 
> SPOILER WARNING:  
> There'll be definitely spoilers for some TLOU 2 stuff in this fic, along with scenes adapted from it eventually. Keep that in mind going forward.
> 
> And since this is a sequel to Something to Fight For, I'd be remiss not to mention that reading that story first would probably be best, since a WHOLE LOT of stuff gets set up in that book, but if you don't feel like doing that, you should get the general gist of the story from these first couple chapters.
> 
> Anyway, let's carry on!

_8:32 PM - Saturday, July 18, 2026 (Four weeks after Negan)  
_

**Dot [Ellie]**

Saying that it was hard to get over Clementine’s absence would’ve been the understatement of the century. Ellie’s room was still a mess, a pile of broken shit that she’d swept into a corner and had no intention of getting rid of any time soon. Life had become trying to think or do anything else that kept her from getting swept away by her thoughts, and with school out until August, doing so became difficult.

For the first month, Tripp had quarantined her inside the walls, for reasons she knew without ever having to ask. Her damn immunity kept rearing its ugly head, and their asshole of a leader had her being poked and prodded by Eleanor to try and figure out the cure. No matter how many times Ellie told her that it was useless, that the Fireflies tried and failed, so how did they expect to succeed? Eventually, that seemed to get through his thick skull, and the nearly daily visits to the infirmary tapered off.

Around that time, she’d finally convinced him to put her on one of the scavenging teams. With Lee still healing, and Joel doing… god knows what, it came down to her to pull her weight in the community. For Ellie, it was another excuse not to think. She’d scrounged up enough stuff on a run to make a trade with a semi-decent Savior by the name of Andy, who traded her some battery acid for a box of Twinkies. It was an amusing trade, but Ellie wasn’t going to complain.

The acid was… probably the most idiotic part of the plan she had, but that seemed to be the norm for her, coming up with things that sounded good on paper, but in reality, were beyond reckless.

Still, with memories plaguing her, and a desire to put it all to rest becoming all too encumbering, the plan was put into action. She’d found herself in her bathroom, the acid in one hand, and her other arm with its sleeve pulled up to her shoulder.

The bite looked as bubbly and vile as ever. A constant reminder of her failure. Looking at it left her feeling nauseous, ready to throw down that jar and instead spew her own acid into the sink. She held it back, though. If she was going to do this, she needed to be tough, tougher than Joel.

Of course, it wasn’t _just_ her failure that brought her to that sink that day. With the Saviors breathing down their necks, constantly keeping an eye on their new victims to make sure they didn’t do anything rash, the odds of being discovered were growing ever more likely.

And knowing the Saviors, they wouldn’t just leave her alone if they found out. It needed to be gone.

Her immunity needed to be nothing but a distant memory.

“ _This… thing. Maybe you think it’s just you, but it’s not._ ” Clementine’s words rang in Ellie’s ears as if she were right next to her. She wanted to believe her, as much as she wanted her to be next to her. She wanted to move on, for her friend’s sake, and her own. The voice in the back of her head, though, that one wouldn’t let her.

“ _Are you really going to make this all for nothing?_ ” Riley’s soft voice always had the same effect on her, forcing her breath to hitch and her resolve to crumble. “ _I_ ** _died_** _for you._ ”

 _You didn’t die for me,_ Ellie thought to herself, her hand practically squeezing the jar. _And it wasn’t for nothing._

Tears welled in her eyes as she began to tip the jar over, watching as the vile liquid began to pour out.

“ _So be strong. A – And if you can’t, then…_ ** _fuck it_** _, I’ll be tough for you._ ”

Now it was _her_ time to be strong.

As soon as the acid made contact with her skin, pain shot through her body like a bullet, accompanied by a sizzling sound that was quickly drowned out by her screams.

No amount of mental preparation would’ve made her ready for that moment. The pain was unbearable, like her skin was boiling away in a witch’s pot, searing hot in its ferocity. The tears that streamed down her face became more like a river, and she smashed the jar on the counter, trying to bang her clenched fist against the surface. However, glass poked her skin, causing the sensation enveloping her to tip past the breaking point. She fell to the floor, clutching her arm close as it continued to sizzle, clenching her eyes shut.

She didn’t know what to do, what to pour onto the acid to make it stop. She was screaming at herself, both aloud and within her own brain, wishing that she’d done _anything_ else. What if it kept eating away at her skin? To the bone? What if she lost her arm?

She scrambled to twist the handle on the sink, cold water streaming around her arm. The acid hissed, flowing with the water into the sink, sizzling until it eventually circled down the drain. She didn’t want to know what it’d do to the metal piping. She let it run for as long as she could bear to sit there, hunched over the sink. When she finally pulled it away, turning the faucet off, all that was left was a red mark, splotched and bubbly.

Once the burning stopped, she pulled her sleeve back down, moving on. Days went by without anyone noticing, just as it was before, though eventually she’d gotten caught looking at it in the bathroom at the church, by another girl that went by Kat. She’d promised that she can cover it up with tattoos, and as surprised as Ellie was to find some sixteen-year-old that knew how to do that, she hardly questioned it. She just silently thanked her for the help.

The next day had been another exhausting day, though not in the way it usually tended to be. Normal days consisted of keeping herself busy, pulling any scavenging run she could get her hands on, or helping in the gardens, or spending some time in the gym. Granted, it wasn’t like it was a state-of-the-art facility, but it got her mind off of Clementine, so she made the best of it. Today had been one of those days, where there were no scavenging runs to do, and that gym became her second home for the day. Her muscles ached, complaining with every step, but she pushed that aside for the time being. Tonight, she was supposed to meet up with Kat to talk about tattoos.

Ellie hadn’t given it much thought on what she wanted except for ‘something to cover up the burn’, but seeing what her new friend was capable of would help. She found herself at the girl’s front door, knocking on it timidly. Sighing, she took in a deep breath. _Time to not be weird._

**Vi [Kat]**

“Yeah! One second, I got yer shit-!” A tired voice spat from behind the door, followed by a bunch of swearing with each object the girl tripped over. Eventually the noise stopped, and silence filled the area. One... two... Three locks clicked as the girl unlocked her door, soon swinging it open with an annoyed expression. She quickly wiped it away at the sight of the girl, a smile replacing her frown.

“Ah! I thought you were one of the guards I owe cards to! Come on in. Make yerself at home.” She moved away from the door, picking up a few things laying on the floor thanks to her frantic move towards the door.

“Ya lose one poker game, and the whole guard is after ya to get the cards for a single person. Can’t trust me, I guess.” She shrugged, stuffing her ration cards back in her drawer as she looked over her shoulder to her house.... er... shack... guest. This wasn’t the most put together place to stay, but enough for her to call it home.

“Did ya want something to drink while I’m up?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Kat’s place was interesting to say the least, as interesting as the girl living in it. Most places left standing in Jackson were those fancy homes you’d see in magazines, but Kat’s was straight out of a show about hillbillies, positioned near the very edge of the community.

As Kat offered her a drink, Ellie didn’t hesitate to nod, smiling. “Please. It’s been a long day.”

She found herself sinking into the girl’s couch, watching as a candle flickered on the coffee table.

“Yeah, the guards love to win, and hate to lose.” She’d given them plenty of trouble, enough to afford a nice dinner every now and again. “Fionn’s the worst. Always easy to guess if he’s got a good hand.”

**Vi [Kat]**

“I swear, that fucker cheated our last game. I owe him sixteen cards, which is basically my dinner for a month.” She called from the kitchen - which was just the room she kept her bourbon. Her house was definitely styled, lots of splashes of dry paint from her attempt to get this place looking nicer... Attempt is the keyword.

Soon, the girl turned the corner, hovering a full glass in front of the girl as the bottle laid carefully in her other. “Try not to drink the whole supply,” she joked, taking a seat next to her and setting the bottle on the table in front of them. She immediately then leaned forward, flipping open her sketchbook and tossing it on the girl’s lap, all the while she used the candle on the table to light her joint. “Take a gander. See if anything interests you.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie took a small swig of the drink placed in front of her, struggling not to cough as it burned in her throat. Memories plagued her then, and she chose to push them away with another drink. When the sketchbook was laid in her lap, she set the drink down on the table, flipping through the book.

Wow, she really was a good artist. There were designs ranging from what could be described as tribal pieces to full portraits. There was one of a girl with a pair of massive boobs, which had Ellie sipping out of her cup with an amused expression before moving on. Eventually, something did catch her eye. It was a moth, with a pair of some sort of leaves behind it. Simple, but would probably cover up her burn nicely.

She found herself staring at the design, thinking to herself ‘ _Look for the light_ ‘. Somehow, she knew that was going to be what she wanted.

“This one,” she said finally, looking toward Kat as she let out a puff of whatever she was smoking. “I like it. Well- I like all of them, but that one especially,” she said, wincing at her own awkwardness.

**Vi [Kat]**

The girl exhaled into the open atmosphere, watching the cloud disperse as she leaned back into her sofa. Just as she breathed in to take another hit, her guest had shown off the design she had chosen. Kat’s gaze shifted over, immediately causing her to cough out the smoke that filled her mouth, the rancid smelling cloud being waved away as she choked on her own breathing. After a moment, she waved a hand around her head, looking at the design closer before flickering her gaze up to Ellie. “Funny. I’ve only had one other person ask for this design, made it for her and everything. She never did get to come get the tattoo.” There was a sober tone to her otherwise cheerful expression. There was… more to this story that she didn’t seem to want to touch on. Not yet.

“I can probably handle doing that one. It be a miracle to finally get this one on skin. May I?” She held out a hand to take a better look at her arm, mainly to test out measurements and see how well the size of her arm fit the size of the concept drawing. As she did so, she also held out the joint, mainly to get a free hand to look between the two.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie held out her arm, pulling up her sleeve to reveal the gauze wrapped around the burn. And, tentatively, she took the thing Kat had been smoking, holding it awkwardly. She looked at it, raising an eyebrow.

“What… is this?” _Obviously not a cigarette. Smells nothing like it._

**Vi [Kat]**

Kat carefully took her hand and held Ellie’s wrist, her other hand now holding up her sketchbook next to their arm. Her eyes scanned between the two, a smile on her face at the sight. This could work. Her gaze shifted as she was addressed, the girl asking what the fuck she was smoking. “Seriously? You need to get out more- It’s weed. Feel free to take a hit, Lassie.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie gave the cigarette a critical glance as Kat explained what it was, feeling herself slouch a little in embarrassment. “Didn’t, uh… didn’t exactly have them in the zone,” she explained, bashfully. “We were lucky to find booze.”

She slowly brought it to her mouth, taking a puff. She coughed violently, clutching the cigarette in her hand as she turned away from Kat. When she’d finally regained control, she let out a dry laugh. “That’s fucking _horrible_.” She inhaled another puff anyway, watching as Kat studied her arm.

It felt weird showing it to someone after hiding the bite for so long, like this was some forbidden act that she had to remind herself that it wasn’t really a thing anymore. She winced as a finger came into contact with the gauze, pain flaring throughout her arm. “It still hurts,” she said, as if she needed to explain herself.

**Vi [Kat]**

Kat let out a small, near quiet laugh as she listened to the girl choke on the smoke, remembering the first time she got into it herself. As Ellie mentioned the pain in her arm, the girl instinctively let go, mumbling an apology as she leaned back with her sketchbook, her body turned to face Ellie so they can talk.

Her fingers flipped through pages in her book, stopping on a clean sheet. She lifted a hand, taking a pencil that rested behind her ear and soon it was connected with the book. “Oh, that stuff is never easy the first time you do it. Just don’t fuckin’ inhale the smoke too much, you aren’t breathin’ it in your lungs.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie let out a scoff, smiling. “I know how to smoke.” No, she didn’t. Still, she didn’t like not knowing things; it was a bit uncomfortable being on this end. She took another puff of the joint, putting what Kat said to use. Thankfully, it went much better. She held it out to the girl next to her.

“Do you ever think about how fucked we are?” She asked, knowing well enough that the topic wasn’t the best one to pick. “With the Saviors, and all that bullshit, and-” She fell silent, grabbing her cup and taking another sip. Anything to get through this. “My friend getting kicked out.”

**Vi [Kat]**

Kat took the joint, taking a long inhale as Ellie spoke, only to exhale the stuff into the open air with a tired expression. That didn’t take long, girl sure knows how to jump to the undesirable topics. “I think about a lot of stuff. Some more than others. The Saviors are… a bunch of pricks- If they came knocking on my door, I’d tattoo their eyes, and steal their shins… as for your friend-” She let the joint hang in her mouth, her hand no longer moving across the page.

“I don’t think of her at all. I didn’t know her, and didn’t know much about the… situation she was involved in. Can’t form an opinion if I don’t know the details. But it seems you think about her quiet alot, right? You wouldn’t have mentioned her if she wasn’t on your mind at least a little.” Her hand resumed its work on the page, her other offering the joint back her way. They needed that hit more than her for sure.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Her next puff did little to calm her nerves, though thinking about Clementine had become anxiety-inducing on its own, let alone _talking_ about her. She didn’t really want to bother Kat about it, after all, they weren’t really friends yet, but who else did she have to turn to? Ellie was… angry, upset, depressed, and struggling to stay busy enough to push all those feelings away. Usually didn’t work. This past year had dragged her through the mud, leaving her broken and tired and just… needing to rest. If only her brain would let her.

“She’s, um…” Ellie trailed off, eyes falling to her lap as she took one more puff of the joint, letting it out in a slow breath. “She is - _was_ \- my girlfriend. After what happened with the Saviors, she just… left. Without a word. I think about that a lot.”

It was weird talking about it out loud. She’d never talked about her relationship before, with _anyone_. Joel was the closest, and she’d never told him they’d actually gotten together. Maybe she just wanted to respect Clem’s wishes about keeping things between them, but now that she’s gone… well, maybe some advice couldn’t hurt.

Handing the joint away, and taking a sip of her bourbon, she continued. “Maybe it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but… yeah. It’s hard not to think about if she’s okay out there, wherever she is. Thinking about how things might be different if I’d been two seconds faster, somehow saving Tommy’s life.”

“Or maybe I’m just stupid, and think I can control everything I can’t. I don’t know.” She shrugged.

**Vi [Kat]**

“Let me let you in on a little secret, E.” The girl puffed a bit more of the joint before she set it down on the ashtray sitting on her table. The smoke left her nose like one of those animated cartoon bulls, her frame leaned back now so she can sketch easier. “Life is like... a big body of water. Right? And with each event that happens, more rocks are added to a bag tied onto your foot. The more rocks, the more you’re dragged down. And eventually, you can feel yourself drowning in your own emotion.”

The girl ran her hand through her hair, gaze shifting back up to her for a moment to see if she had her attention before shooting back down to her page. “Now, you can remove these rocks. Some are harder than others. They can be bigger and heavier. It takes a lot of strength and courage to let go of the past that is dragging you down. Did you know thinking back and focusing on the what ifs and the possibilities of what could have been doesn’t do anything but make your rocks heavier? Do you want to drown, Ellie? Cause if you do, hold onto it. It’ll only be your downfall. But if you want to survive, reach out and break that surface again for air? The rock has to go. Letting… letting her go might be what’s best. You can hold her memories close, learn from them. But that doesn’t mean you have to carry what she did in your bag. What happened was not your fault… okay? And - and if you don’t think you can let go of that rock alone. If it’s just too heavy? I’ll grab your hand myself and pull you up to the surface. But only you can make the decision to let the rock sink to the bottom without you.” She set her pencil down, letting out a short sigh as she shook her head.

“I was in a similar boat before. I let the rock drag me all the way to the bottom because I was naive enough to let some… asshole girl break my heart. And even after all she did, for some reason, her rock was still there, dragging me down because I had convinced myself that I still loved her… when I know she didn’t love me - she never did. That rock kept growing and growing, and eventually I hit the bottom. I’ve fucking been there. She was the last fuckin’ piece for me to sink, and hitting the bottom of the ocean is fucking terrifying. You lose all sense of right and wrong, you make horrible mistakes to fix something you can’t. I’ve done things I can’t take back just to please her, and it was for nothing. I… I can still hear those god awful clickers, and see her face as she turned her back to le-” She shut her eyes for a moment, fist tightening on her book.

“Don’t be like me. I was lucky I realized I needed help. I was lucky I got out of that mindset before I hit deep shit. You’ll hit it too if you let your past eat you alive. We already have a ton of things trying to eat us… this shouldn’t be one. Besides…” Kat flipped her sketchbook around, showing the sketch to the girl with a half hearted smile. It was a sketch of a smiling Ellie!

“You have a nice smile, you should show it off more.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie couldn’t help but do exactly what was shown on the paper, a lopsided smile that felt like the first time she’d actually done it in weeks. She was right; _of course_ she was right. She’d had this problem for months, way before Clementine ever left. Dealing with memories and regrets and an obligation to carry them all on her back - or tied around her ankles, in Kat’s example - and never being capable of shrugging them off.

She missed Clementine, and always would, but she needed to to live for herself now, if not for Joel and Lee, and everyone else that depended on her here. It was better than drowning. Sitting there, all the stupid shit she’d done in the wake of Clementine’s departure began to fill up in her mind. Her room was still a mess, most of it just tossed into a corner so she didn’t have to deal with it. Call it laziness, or maybe just a reminder of what happened, but she realized now that it needed to go. Probably won’t be able to find another decent lamp, but whatever. She could make do.

Ellie sat back on the couch, taking a slow sip of her drink before matching Kat’s gaze. “You’re not half bad, you know that?”

**Vi [Kat]**

Kat seemed to straighten up a bit at the compliment, her face slightly red. She let her dumb ass drop her guard, now they are being such a… nerd and getting all soft with her. She wiped a hand across her face as she rolled her eyes, hand turning a page to start a different sketch. “No no. I’m full bad. Total rebel, yea. Major lone wolf. I put the bad in… uh- Bad news. Yep.”

 _Really helping your case there, Kat. Sure proved her wrong._ Kat shook her head, a hand tapping against her face to die herself down from the embarrassment she’s putting herself through. Girl can’t take a compliment.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The girl’s response left Ellie chuckling under her breath, rolling her eyes too. _Yeah, whatever._ If there was anything she’d learned today, it’s that Kat would make for a pretty fucking cool friend, and Ellie had every intention of making it that way. Better than drowning herself in work to try and forget her last one.

Finishing her drink, laying the cup on the table in front of them, her face turned serious, yet managing to maintain the smile. “Thank you,” she said, absolutely meaning it. “For the tattoo, and for the pep talk. Seriously. I’ll hit you up when this thing’s feeling better.” She indicated the bandages around her arm before continuing, shaking her head amusedly. “I’m gonna look _badass_.”

**Vi [Kat]**

“If I do my job, you surely will. After all, I did most of these myself, and they sure as shit weren’t easy.” She gestured to her own tattoos, many of which seemed to be various sea creatures and symbols. She smiled, standing from her seat to put away her sketchbook, the page with the chosen tattoo marked with her pencil. She dusted her hands off, making her way towards the kitchen where she happily rolled herself another joint.

The girl’s voice picked up as she hummed to herself. It was some dumb song she heard on a cassette, and she was lucky it still worked given how many times she played it. Speaking of which, she popped it back in, and there goes some classic tunes. Early two-thousands ‘punk rock’ as they were labeled, but that’s up to interpretation. She came back into the living room, lighting her joint and immediately taking a nice puff as she sat by the girl and swung her arm around their shoulders. “Now, let’s get this party started.” She called, taking another hit. And the two spent a good rest of the evening smoking that good shit and listening to Kat’s music.


	2. Ranch

_3:28 PM - Friday, July 31, 2026_

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie wiped sweat off her brow as she rode down a trail near the furthest reaches of Jackson, on a horse with a temper comparable to her own. Her blue button-up shirt was left open, hoping that the faint gusts of wind blowing through the trees would cool her down, but instead she was left with a sweaty tank top and the desire to shed the button-up as soon as she could.

This territory was familiar. Cabins abandoned and overturned for supplies, trails that led through the mountains, and eventually, it led her to a ranch nestled deep in the peaks. She recognized it immediately, breathing a small ‘whoa’ to stop her horse. _Hidden Pines…_ She read the name silently, frowning. A year ago, she’d found herself here after Joel tried to leave her with Lee and Clementine. Back then, her emotions kept her from realizing the beauty of the landscape surrounding it. Out here, she could believe that Jackson didn’t exist, that the Saviors weren’t out there, watching their every move.

“C’mon.” She kicked the horse to get it moving at a light trot, stopping at the gate. She hopped off her horse, grabbing its reins as she opened the gate, heading inside. She ran her hand over the horse’s short hair as she tied it to a post, saying a soft “I’ll be right back, buddy.” The horse neighed in response.

Inside, things were moved. Some neatly cleaned up, others as messy as they were before. Saviors, probably, looking for more supplies. She ran her hand along the railing as she went up the stairs, almost reminiscent. Being here again was hard, even after all this time. Things were different, better and worse all at the same time. She almost missed it.

Finding the door open to the room she’d once been in, she headed inside, plopping herself down in that seat by the window. The sun filtered through the curtains, dust casting tiny shadows on the wall as they floated through the air. The diary was still where she left it, and she picked it up quietly, flipping through the pages.

 _Still bizarre_ , she found herself thinking, smiling faintly as she read through a new page. She was content to stay there for a while longer, until it came time to head back to town.

**Art [Clementine]**

The little paws on the ground gave it away. Too small to be a wolf’s and _way_ too big to be a rabbit’s. “You’re close by, aren’t you?” Clem would be a lot more chipper about it if she could tell them apart from a dog’s.

It’d taken weeks to get the hang of it. Walkers were easy, but this...? She could swing it around all she wanted, that knife of hers felt so useless. When Clementine finally carved herself a spear off the branch of an oak tree, she thought it had to have been desperation that caused it to work so well. Prototype after prototype was tossed away until it hit her like a slap to the face; attaching the knife to it. It was a bunny who’d gotten its leg hurt, separated from the rest, that wound up being her first emergency dinner. Now she planned on moving further up the food chain. That, or die trying.

Those berries she’d found ways down the hill were her secret weapon. Sure, it took an awful lot of practice. Chasing wounded animals was one thing... throwing a spear, that was nothing like darts. Even now, the thought of going one more day without eating made Clementine’s breath go haywire.

Lucky for Clem, it didn’t take more than an hour for her target to fall for the bait. Quick and lean - and too skinny. A coyote that looked as hungry as she did. If only she could afford to pass it up. Clementine left her hiding spot, lifted the spear all the way to her ear, and flung it with a powerful step forward before the animal could flee. It ripped right through him, making a fine mess. Relief had to be cut short for the sake of beating sundown. _Finally something good to eat._

Clementine walked back to the ranch with the carcass over her shoulder, looking awfully proud for someone at the end of her rope. If she could just... get enough of those to trade for bullets. If the guards ever let her near again... _Don’t bet all your chips yet. You’re doing okay. We’re doing okay._

What spooked her next was no infected, though she really wished it had been. Seriously. _A horse...?_ So many bad things ran through Clem’s head, she could hardly keep up with one. Leaving the rifle inside was a rookie mistake, and she knew well it may as well have been her last. _Idiot. Idiot._

Clementine left the coyote by the entrance. Knowing every in and out, every floorboard that made a squeak, getting upstairs quietly was as simple as being patient. The page-flipping was so obvious, whoever was there _had_ to think it was abandoned.

The teen peeked her muddy features through the door, but they returned different. What her instincts told her, what her thoughts screamed at her, they all said something different. For Clementine, the only thing to do was panic, panic, and _panic._ Ellie was there...! Ellie was in her room! Hows and whens were almost unimportant. Her heart was beating for all types of reasons and she had to do something before-

Sudden as that, her foot had no floor left to step on. Clem fell on her ass and didn’t bother getting up. Nothing could buy the time she needed to come up with what to say. Clementine shut her eyes and waited for Ellie to find her. She’d start thinking after.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The diary was dropped to the seat in an instant, pistol in hand so fast she was struggling to click down the hammer. When she made it to her feet, she approached the open door in slow steps, weapon raised. Not knowing what was out there frightened her the most; it could’ve been infected, maybe one, or _somebody_ , and no one from Jackson was supposed to come out this far. That didn’t leave a lot of _good_ options left to choose from.

With a harsh voice and a shaking grip, she raised her voice. “Come out!”

If it was infected, they’d rush the room in an instant. She had to hope that it was just one. She could take one. More would take some… improvising.

When nothing immediately came, she quickly dismissed that notion, her anxiety increasing as soon as it was gone.

“I’m not fucking around,” she called out, hoping that’d get whoever was out there to show themselves.

**Art [Clementine]**

Silly as it was, she was worried Ellie might actually want to shoot her.

It took no time to get on her feet, scrambling for better ideas. Clem would’ve much sooner opted to tuck and run. She cowered at Ellie’s shouts, backed against the wall with feet that felt like cinder blocks. This was the worst case scenario waiting to happen. What would Ellie say when she found out…? How much of a wimp did she have to be, for not wanting to know?

Clementine walked away from the corner she hid behind, both hands up, and as frail as they could be. Looking at Ellie then, she didn’t see a way not to be terrified.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The instant she recognized the figure in the doorway, the gun in her hand dropped to her waist, finger pushing the hammer back. It took longer for her to realize that she wasn’t hallucinating. Seconds ticked by, mouth agape, before the only thing her body could do was blind her with tears.

Feelings blended together, leaving her utterly speechless. Being happy and angry and upset and her heart beating a million miles a second so quickly it was a wonder if it was ever beating at a normal rate.

Clementine was really there. After spending _so long_ trying to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t, it felt like she’d received a blow to the head. Dizzy, she stumbled towards the wall, stopping herself with her injured arm. The world took a while to right itself, but when it eventually did, she refused to look away from the girl standing at the doorframe, as if she’d disappear if she did.

She looked smaller, not in stature, but being out here had caused her to lose a few pounds. Haggard. Ellie almost forgot what it was like to have to hunt to survive, but they’d been there, not too long ago. The haircut Ellie had given her didn’t look nearly so clean anymore, frizzy. Humidity was a bitch.

“It’s…” She tried to say, her mouth dry. Her back rested against the wall, unable to move from that spot even if she wanted to run across that room and hug the shit out of her best friend. What if she didn’t want her to? She didn’t even want to say goodbye before…

“This feels like deja vu,” she finally said, trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat, eyes finally falling.

**Art [Clementine]**

It hurt, it hurt _so much._ Instead of doing anything to help, Clem could only watch with eyes chock-full of regret, standing unevenly under the door frame. It was like a nightmare, horrible enough before it turned real in front of her.

How easy it was to pretend it would all work out. That she could forget about Ellie, and Ellie about her. That they’d never see each other again.

Would she ever forgive her for it…?

It fell on Clem to say something, ‘else the rest of world would keep waiting forever. She mustered the strength to take one step forward and not one more. Her hands lowered and lowered, but never quite felt in the right place. Nothing felt in its right place. “You okay?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“I-”

Her stomach was twisting around itself, broiling with a feeling _much_ worse than butterflies. That feeling of deju vu remained, of a room much smaller than this one, and an entirely different person having come back into her life after disappearing. This time, she couldn’t muster up the energy to shout, or feel angry. There was an emptiness to it, like she’d finally cleaned up the mess she kept in her head, only to return to that room later. There just wasn’t much to look at, a past that was too hard to, and a future that was even worse.

Yet she kept looking, kept wanting it to go back to the way it was before, even if she knew it wouldn’t. She ignored Clementine’s question, not really having an answer readily available. She wasn’t okay, obviously, but none of them were anymore. Last thing she wanted to do was make Clementine feel worse, even if a tiny part of her knew that she deserved to.

Energy sapping away, she slid against the wall, planting herself on the ground. Arms resting on her knees, she matched Clementine’s gaze once more, eyes softening.

“It’s… good to see you,” she said, meaning that despite everything. “I know you probably don’t want to, given that-” She choked, her stomach feeling worse by the second. _I was worried about you._ She wanted to say that to her, but couldn’t find the strength.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine’s steps turned so much lighter. All doubts at the back of her head, disappearing. She froze in front of that girl, who didn’t know left from right, just as well as she. Clem couldn’t bear to end it with a glance. “Are you kidding me...?” She stole both of Ellie’s hands, pulling them near with a cold grip. She couldn’t think that… It broke her heart to think Ellie did.

“I missed you so much.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

And just like that, that sickening feeling in her stomach passed. Hands held in hers, Ellie’s entire body relaxed, pulling away just to push herself to her feet and wrap her arms around the baseball-capped girl in the tightest hug she could muster, burying her face into the girl’s shoulder. She hadn’t forgiven her, not yet, but that part of her that _needed_ her embrace, it didn’t care. Here they were, despite everything that happened, and she’d be the first one to admit that she was being the biggest sap in the universe.

When it eventually came time to pull away, Ellie lingered close, a small smile on her face as she let out a barely contained chuckle. “Happy belated birthday, by the way.” It’d been all she could think about the day before. _“Sorry I didn’t bring any gifts._ ”

**Art [Clementine]**

Of course she smiled with her, even when it didn’t seem right to. It wouldn’t last. It wouldn’t last and Clem knew that, but just right then, she wanted nothing else than to be with Ellie for that little while longer. The bad stuff could come later. Until then she’d fight as hard as she could to make it last.

“I’m gonna cook you something, then - then we’ll talk. ‘Kay?” Walking away again, though inches apart, had never been so hard. It’d be even harder when it was for good.

**Dot [Ellie]**

All Ellie could do was give her a simple nod, focusing on normalizing her breath as Clementine walked away. The very idea that she was there was still difficult to digest, as if the world was tormenting her and maybe this really _was_ nothing but a hallucination. And as Clementine left the room, Ellie settled back onto that seat by the window, grumbling as the radio on her belt roared to life.

 _"Ellie, check in._ ”

Tripp. _Fucking asshole._

“I’m checking out some stuff outside the zone, will get back to you when I’m on my way back, over.” Ellie held the radio in her hand for a second longer, waiting for Tripp’s obvious reply.

 _"Alright, but don’t take too long. Your old man’s already busting my ass about sending you out so much._ ”

Radio back on her belt, turned off, Ellie slowly explored that ranch. Now that she was _really_ looking, it became obvious that Clementine had been living here for some time. Stashes of stuff placed around; a bedroom turned into the closest thing she’d have to an armory, which only consisted of a couple of weapons. She didn’t want to know what Clem did without plumbing. That part of life outside walls always sucked.

Eventually, she found her way down the stairs, noticing a dead coyote left on the ground near the entrance. Her horse whinnied outside, looking towards her in the open door. Smiling, crossing her arms across her chest, she found Clementine in the kitchen, and leaned against the open doorway, watching her movements.

Finally, she broke the silence. “So… what’s for dinner? That coyote out front?” It was a piss-poor conversation starter, but she’d say anything to avoid the inevitable that was fast approaching.

**Art [Clementine]**

The kitchen was like no other room you’d find in the ranch house. Tidy from A to Z, and kept so clean you didn’t smell the dead anymore. If only it wasn’t so clear of stuff… more plates - not in two, three, or ten pieces, would have been really good. Clem picked up the clean knife from the counter, though small and dull, before walking back to stab something with it. “Yeah, smartass. Got any more food I’m not seeing?” Clementine giggled to herself and went on to skin the animal.

Stew is what she was good at. Tasted plain and watery, but it kept her strength up. Even better if you tossed in the right herbs and plants - Pure trial and error. _No nasty grubs today._ She couldn’t wait until her seeds started growing.

The coyote was all but cubes in a pot, circling around a little pool. Great time to use a spoon, if she hadn’t stuck hers into some ugly infected’s eyehole. _Never again._ But the good thing is, you got to look dumb mixing stew with a knife. Clem served Ellie the larger bowl atop a coffee table by the window, and kept the tinier one, sitting down first. Clementine didn’t pay a single mind to Ellie when she started diving her fingers into it for the big pieces, drinking the whole rest straight from the source. The norm it was, weeks on end; for no one to watch you eat.

“How’s Lee?” She asked, chewing on a nerve. ‘Course, Clem expected nothing but bad news from people back home. Maybe that’s why she had to know.

**Dot [Ellie]**

It wasn’t exactly a five-star meal, but nothing outside walls was these days. Out here, you made do with what you had, and it wasn’t like Clementine could just go grocery shopping back home. Ellie probably would’ve known about it. Still, as Clementine asked about Lee, she found herself stewing on what she wanted to say, all while clutching her bowl of stew in her hands.

“He asks if I’ve found you, every time I see him,” she admitted quietly. It was all he could think about. She didn’t blame him; for a time, it was all _she_ could think about too. Yet time, work, and a Scottish girl with a brain better than hers, they all helped her focus on what needed done.

“I just tell him ‘she clearly doesn’t want to be found, since she left without a word.’” There was a hint of resentment in her voice, though it was masked under a calm expression as she took another gulp of her stew. “He doesn’t have much to distract himself with until school starts up next month.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Stew was over, just like that. But then, Clem wasn’t too hungry anymore.

She didn’t know what to make of that girl. Her fingers tapped on the table, with no rhythm attached, waiting for the quiet to follow. “What about you?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Like many things about this encounter, Ellie had found herself uncomfortable once again. What was she supposed to say? That she gave up on Clementine being out there, waiting to be found? That it became easier to live her life _not_ thinking about her? That, even right now, Ellie was still pissed about it? Those weren’t exactly things she’d want to hear, but some of them she’ll have to. Eventually.

She was starting to wish she had Kat’s bourbon instead of this soup. The courage it’d give her would be really fucking helpful right about now.

She took in a sharp breath through the nose, shifting in her seat. “It was easier just to not have time to think about it.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine reached for Ellie’s hand again, as if that’s all she knew. It’d never help, undo any of the bad… All it was, was paying lip service to a love she’d failed to give. But still Clem held on all the tighter. “My turn?” She asked, expecting a no, and feeling she deserved one.

“I’ve been so crap to you. I should’ve said something, but I-”

“I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

It sounded so well-meant and _naive._ Looking back, Clem didn’t know how to do this. Not from the moment she walked out in the rain, looking any place but forward. If Ellie had to know... then, that was that, and Clem would have to face the fallout. You could only run so much. She’d rather have Ellie hate her, than stick around to break that girl’s heart again.

“I’m gonna wait out a few months, try to get something to trade for a horse; something big.”

“Then, I’m… gone. For good. Back to Salt Lake.”

She didn’t have the heart to hold her hand anymore. Clem looked as serious as ever, even so close to falling apart. “You’re just going to have to forget about me.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Hearing those words, Ellie was left dumbfounded. That was it? She was just gonna walk away, just like that…? She could feel her face growing hot, an indignant rage bubbling to the surface. What was Clementine expecting to find out there?

“Clementine, there’s **_nothing_** in Salt Lake. The Fireflies are dead, and the whole fucking city’s a deathtrap. I nearly _died_ trying to get there.” Soup forgotten, she lifted out of her seat, pacing around the room.

She couldn’t help but feel like Clementine was doing this because Ellie’d left her no choice. That finding her had ruined whatever ‘peace’ she’d found out here without her, and just wanted to go back to that. Or look for her parents, which were more than likely dead if they really _were_ with the Fireflies.

Swiveling towards the girl half the room away, she continued in a harsh tone. “You’re the least forgettable person I’ve ever met. And you’re smarter than _this_ , just… running off.” Heated, she placed her hands on the table separating her from Clementine. “If you leave, I’m coming after you. Wherever you go. Because that’s what friends do.”

Rampant breaths escaped her as she fell into her seat, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. What was the point? She’d already decided. How little did any of them mean to her if she was so willing to get as far away from them as possible? Fuck Tripp, and fuck Jackson for doing this to her. She almost hoped Negan would run them into the ground.

Finally, with a heavy sigh, opening her eyes once more, she finished with a solemn voice, “I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”

**Art [Clementine]**

It wasn’t surprising at all, more than it was hard to listen to. And Clementine did. Every word. “I’m not changing my mind, Ellie,” she spoke back, without one shift in her expression. Her eyes were as piercing as sharpened steel. “And you’re not following me either. Y’know why?”

Clem didn’t sound angry, even when her lips twitched in woe. The girl’s hands were settled on the table, unmoving, but steady all the way. Her voice was just the same.

Tired, same as she was. Tired of grieving. And in all that tired of hers, came a tired smile that must’ve made Ellie even more pissed at her. “‘Cause you’re smarter than that, too.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Everything Clementine said had the effect of a slap to the face, one that would’ve left bruises seen from a mile away. For a moment, she was left baffled, mouth opening and closing in rapid movements but nothing ever coming out. She wanted to scream. She wanted to plant her fist into that table, and in lieu of that, wanted an infected to show up just so she could have something to take her aggression out on, but instead she was left with a boiling hot rage and a stomach clenching and splitting itself in two.

Eyes closed, two breaths in and out, she returned to her feet. A step to the side had her ready to turn around, and she used that opportunity to say one final thing, too angry to think of anything better.

“Fuck you, Clementine.”

Leaving that kitchen behind, she nearly stomped towards the door, tears that she’d been holding back finally letting loose. She was surprised she had any left to give.

**Art [Clementine]**

Her sad smile had gone away, and what was left shivered to make way for weeping. Gallops far in the distance vanished in the wind, leaving behind the sound of woodpeckers and hummingbirds. Clementine was all alone again, just the way she wanted.

The girl - turned little when there was no one left to see - pulled her knees close and did not let go, digging four fingers into the fabric of her pants. Clem wouldn’t leave the chair, fearing she might run after Ellie and beg her to stay. Clementine rested her head against her thighs and let her hat slip and fall onto the floor. She thought seeing Ellie again would finally do her in, but she already felt as dead as she could be.


	3. Fake

_11:12 AM - August 3, 2026_

**Dot [Ellie]**

The next few days went by in agonizing slowness, all that bullshit about keeping Clementine out of her mind by keeping busy failing her miserably. Even when school finally started back up that Monday, Ellie couldn’t concentrate on what the fuck the teachers were trying to say. Too wrapped up in trying to figure out what she could’ve said instead, a different way of convincing Clementine to stay, but nothing sounded better. And knowing Clementine, she wasn’t lying when she said that Ellie couldn’t change her mind. That fact was really starting to settle in, only proving to piss her off more and more. They were supposed to be best friends, girlfriends, living on a mended promise to never leave each other, but Clementine had broken that months ago, and the final nail in the coffin had been at the ranch. Kat was right, she needed to just… set her aside, focus on herself and what she’s doing here. The rocks were already becoming too heavy to keep her head above the surface.

That morning, she’d found herself sitting in what used to be Tripp’s survival class, now run by some pisshead named Ian, who seemed just as excited to be there as the students were. Today’s lesson was about guns and how to maintain them, and Ian, in his ever disinterested voice, went through each step, taking apart a rifle and cleaning the parts, before reassembling it.

“Now, we’re gonna do this in pairs,” he said, placing the rifle down on the desk in front of him. He started listing off names, calling them up to the front of the class to grab a rifle, until he finally reached Ellie. “Ellie and Lydia.”

 _What…? He can’t be serious…_ Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, she got out of her chair and headed to the front of the class, grabbing the rifle Ian held out for her. Silently cursing him, she found her way towards Lydia’s desk near the back of the class, grinding her teeth together. This wasn’t going to end well for anyone, especially with a weapon involved. _Just gotta hope she doesn’t shoot me with it._

Two steps away from her desk, Ellie stopped, clutching the rifle by the barrel. _Jesus, can this week get any worse?_ “Hi,” she offered in greeting, voice barely audible over the sound of other teenagers talking amongst each other, some even giving them amused glances. The awkwardness was gonna kill her.

“Guess we’re partners,” she mused.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia saw Ian’s mouth wagging, but didn’t seem to hear anything… except pointless drabble that her brain couldn’t be bothered to give the slightest of consideration to. The girl didn’t think she was feeling very well, hadn’t been for the past month or so to say the least. Since Negan, the knots were back again, twisting and turning, leaving behind a repulsive feeling on the inside that wouldn’t let up. Sometimes it went on nearly all day, and only got worse at night. She just wanted it to go away. Why wouldn’t it?

The blonde figured she would rather put a bullet through her own skull than go through the torment and embarrassment of going to Eleanor for help. So she’d just have to tolerate it again, for however long.

Only when her and Ellie’s name got called out did Lydia realize today was going to be brutal. A day that wasn’t going to stop beating her down until she snapped. Out of the corner of Lydia’s eye, she could see Ellie reluctantly marching up to her table, rifle in hand.

 _“Guess we’re partners._ ”

Of course, Lydia ignored her, staying seated and instead choosing to cross her arms and rest them on the desk in front of her, using them as a pillow to lay her cheek on. She blankly stared out into the abyss of the classroom, eyes wide open, yet not an ounce of anything lively in them. The redhead was in front of her, but the tired girl avoided looking at her freckled face entirely. Lydia wasn’t so oblivious not to notice the several delighted glances in their direction, she even thought she heard some giggles.

“Somebody just- _fucking kill me…”_ Lydia murmured to herself in response, being partnered with Ellie was the final nail in the coffin. It had to be a joke, right? She was spaced out, and couldn’t filter any of her words to say anything other than what she wanted to happen right at this moment. Lydia was done, with all of it.

**Dot [Ellie]**

About the reaction Ellie expected. Still, she wasn’t going to get out of this just because Lydia wasn’t happy about it either, so she begrudgingly took the seat next to the blonde, placing the rifle down on the table, at least where she still could, given Lydia had her head in between her arms on it.

Taking apart the rifle wasn’t so hard. She’d seen Joel do it plenty of times, and Ian, despite how bored he sounded, was quite thorough in showing the steps. There was some gunk in the barrel that she used a towel and whatever cleaner they’d been given to get out, glancing towards Lydia every thirty seconds or so. She might be on her own on this one. Whatever.

Quietly, as she opened up the chamber and began cleaning in there, Ellie broke the silence. “I heard what you did for Clementine, during the vote.” Poor way to start a conversation, but she didn’t have much else.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia more than gladly allowed the silence to linger, listening to the clinking and clattering of whatever stupid crap the other girl was doing with the rifle. Would that girl finally shut up? The blonde honest to God hoped so, but there was no use kidding herself, was there? This was Ellie of all people. Lydia was fully intent on leaving her out to dry with that comment she just made about Clementine… until she didn’t.

“I did what I had to.” What Lydia even meant by that… even _she_ didn’t know. All Lydia knew was that she _had_ to retort. Her head was still in between her arms, not daring to cast Ellie so much as a glance. “Like the _arrogant bitch_ I am, right?” She added, in a rather lazy manner, though she wasn’t able to help the poison oozing from her tone this time.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie saw that coming from a mile away, choosing to ignore it. It wasn’t worth getting riled up about. Still, hearing her own words get thrown back at her after _so fucking long_ made her feel like she had a knife at her throat, and all it’d take was one remark from Ellie to finish the job. This was what made it so difficult for her to even want to approach Lydia. She wouldn’t hesitate to bring up shit to make you feel worse. Not like she could make her feel any worse than she already did. What she’d said to Clementine had brought her to a new low.

Taking in a deep breath, moving on to the next section of the rifle that needed cleaning, Ellie continued in a soft tone, eyes locked on the weapon. “I’m sorry. For everything.” She wanted to explain herself, to talk about how fighting back had always been the only way to survive in the zone, but she knew that Lydia didn’t care. Why would she? She probably had it worse. “I know apologies don’t mean anything, but… y’know.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

With every verbal poke and prod Lydia threw her way, all the other teen seemed to do was maintain her composure. It only served to frustrate Lydia even more, to the point where she started to think that this might’ve been a trick. She couldn’t accept it, the fact that Ellie seemed to be taking all of this in stride. Nonetheless, the words struck a chord with her, enough for Lydia to force her head up to meet those green eyes at the opposite end of the table.

Finally, she mustered up enough courage to say what she needed to say.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Lydia sat up now, straightening her posture. Her teeth ground against each other, unable to maintain the pause for long. “Sorry that Clementine’s _best friend_ would rather dig a hole than bother to show up and give her any support.” Lydia and Clementine had their differences since she arrived, that was no secret… but she _tried_ to make it at least a little bit right with her in the end, even if it _was_ too late.

All of them ganged up on her so fast… and only a handful of people were there to defend her. Nonetheless, Ellie’s absence wasn’t even what pissed her off the most, not even close. If there was anyone Ellie should apologize to, it was Clementine, not her.

“I’m sure she’d be _sooo_ thrilled to know that her sweet little Ellie now hangs out with some tattoo artist _slut_ that’s a part of the same gang that screwed her life up.” Scratch that, the Saviors had fucked _all_ of their lives up. They were the enemy, and Ellie was waltzing around with one like nothing happened. Whatever respect Lydia had for Ellie was totally gone, and how bad she felt for Clementine was immeasurable. With no one else around to be disgusted, it meant Lydia had to do it for them. Yes, she knew because Jackson had paper thin walls, and she’d seen it herself. The former Whisperer knew she’d done some horrible fucking things, but at least she tried to remain loyal to those that mattered.

But not Ellie apparently.

If there had to be one arrogant bitch sitting here right now, Lydia didn’t believe it was herself. The girl’s filter was gone and the words had poured out, too late to ever take back. It felt good, so good, because she yearned for Ellie to feel every word and suffocate on it, to feel the weight Lydia was hauling on her shoulders these past few weeks.

“So don’t talk to me about ‘sorry’, you **fake fuck.** ” Lydia didn’t want to let the redhead feel good, or forget, or sleep well at night after a good day of laughing with her new friend… because Lydia was fucking miserable, and Ellie should’ve been too.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie’s heart stopped.

For a moment that felt like eternity, she sat frozen in horror, dropping the rifle to the table with a definite clatter. She couldn’t even muster the energy to fight back, defend herself, or even move a muscle. What Lydia said shook her to the core, a feeling that she never expected to get out of the blonde, though in hindsight, should’ve saw coming.

The first words to come out of her mouth were so quiet they were nearly inaudible, a stuttering that mirrored just how fucked her brain was. “ _S - She’s a Savior?_ ” She hadn’t even known Kat for more than a couple weeks, and the very idea of the girl being with that group was damn near unfathomable.

 _“The Saviors are… a bunch of pricks. If they came knocking on my door, I’d tattoo their eyes, and steal their shins._ ”

So, Kat was just lying to her face? How could Lydia even know she was with the Saviors if the girl was trying to hide it? Or did Kat just assume that she knew? No matter how many questions surfaced in her mind, she didn’t have an answer to any of them.

No one even told her about the meeting that led to Clementine getting kicked out, and she had her suspicions that it happened on purpose, and Lydia throwing that in her face, it only made her feel worse. That, somehow, Ellie should’ve figured it out through some magical means, yet all she could’ve done was put Tommy’s body in the ground, for Joel’s sake.

She wanted to punch something. She wanted to punch herself. She wanted to go up to that mountain again and just… jump off. Eyes surrounded her, drawn to the blonde’s outburst, and she couldn’t raise her gaze to meet any of them.

Laughter. Whispering. They were all eventually silenced as Ian raised his voice. “Alright, that’s enough. Get back to work.” Ellie couldn’t, though. Hands shaking, seat scratching against the ground, she lifted herself out of her seat, heading for the door. She didn’t bother to listen to Ian’s protests, answering them by slamming the door behind her.

Once outside, her legs gave out beneath her, grass filling her vision as she curled up, capable of doing nothing more than releasing the torrential downpour of tears out of her eyes.

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

Lightning crackled overhead in a fantastical lightshow, clouds so dark that the early afternoon sun had been reduced to a glow barely bright enough for Ellie to see where she was going. Her hood whipped in the wind, blinding her every second or two. She tried her best to keep the wind out of her face, but it proved fruitless, as much as it did to keep from getting soaked through by the torrential downpour. Perhaps leaving had been a bad idea, but the storm blew in quick, and Ellie had so much farther to go.

Gripping the hilt of the machete in her hand, she followed the trail further into the mountains. Trees collided with each other in the intense wind, whistling and cracking like bones with too much force applied to them. She could almost lose herself in the sound, a lingering worry at the back of her head about whether or not one would snap at any moment.

The trail eventually split in two. Stopping, Ellie looked down each. The left circled towards Clementine’s ranch, she knew. The other, deeper into the mountains. The same trail they’d gone down before, when Ellie took Clementine to the top of one of the mountains. She chose the right path, taking in a deep breath.

Maybe there’s something worth checking out along the way.

The storm only grew stronger, howling and booming, and Ellie was forced to sheath her blade to wrap her arms around herself, conserving any warmth she could. As the path grew steeper, a small building in the distance caught her attention. She remembered seeing it the first time they’d been through here, right before the trail ended and they made the rest of the way to the top on unbroken ground. A large spire jutted out of the top, some kind of radio receiver. The door was still shut. Perhaps there still was something here?

Getting out of the rain for a minute wouldn’t hurt, either.

She tried the door, but the knob wouldn’t turn. _Fucking figures._ It took a few tries to kick the door in, but eventually it yielded. The interior was covered in dust and cobwebs, left abandoned for over a decade. Flicking on her flashlight, she scanned over the room. Large control panels took up one side of the room, a fogged window placed into the wall over them. Inside appeared to be some sort of booth, a microphone was left on some sort of metal arm, sitting in front of a pair of chairs. The room looked untouched, and ultimately had nothing worth salvaging.

A small kitchen was built into an adjacent room, but nothing in there was still in-date anymore. Perhaps taking the microphone would be worth something. Did the Saviors have any need for that junk? Fuck if she knew.

Grinding her teeth together, she kicked the refrigerator with enough force to shift it slightly, letting out a frustrated grunt. This was a fucking waste of time. How was she supposed to get her mind off of Clementine and Kat when there was nothing out here worth salvaging?

How fucking stupid she’d been, letting herself get close to them. Falling in love with Clementine. Trying to find a friend out of Kat. She was so fucking stupid. Didn’t she learn enough from Riley? Love only caused pain, watching as they leave you or die, and in the end, _she_ was the bad guy. _She_ was the one that fucked everything up. Well, fuck that. Fuck feeling like she was the problem. Clementine abandoned her, and is going to again, and Kat was a liar. She wasn’t fake. She wasn’t someone who’d just bounce from one person to the next. If that meant being on her own, then she’d do it. It was better than living with the guilt.

Wood creaked from somewhere within the control room, snapping Ellie’s attention to it in a heartbeat. Thunder boomed outside, deafening any noise that followed. The machete slipped out of its sheath on her belt, gripped tightly. Two steps forward, as the thunder dissipated into the distance, a moan faded in. Infected. At least two of them. When she reached the door, they screeched, lurching towards her.

She jerked to the side, letting the runner collide with the countertop next to her. Swinging the machete, it collided with its neck, screaming. The other pounced on her, and all she could do to keep it back was kick out with her leg, forcing it to stumble. Switchblade in hand, she buried it in the first runner’s head, pulling it out as it fell to the ground.

The other runner’s next attempt to attack her brought her back colliding with the counter, a sharp pain in her lower back causing her to yelp. Keeping it at bay with her hands against its shoulders, she tried to kick again, though it was moving too much for her to hit its leg. Cursing, she tried to stab it in the shoulder, but it knocked her hand back, using the opportunity to close in towards her neck. Jerking herself to the side in an attempt to escape its grasp, she just barely missed the runner’s teeth, gnashing with enough force to break teeth. It didn’t care, though, continuing to attack her.

As the runner forced her against the wall just beyond the refrigerator, causing her to drop her knife, Ellie let go of the walker with one hand, grabbing for the handle on the freezer, and forcing it open. It hit the runner in the face, staggering it. She rushed towards it, sending a kick right into its abdomen. It fell to the floor, scrambling, as Ellie reached for the machete still buried in the first runner’s neck, yanking it out with a strained scream. Lifting it above her head, she brought it down on the runner’s head, a shattering crack filling the air as it collided with its skull. Its thrashing stopped in an instant, and she forced the blade out, slamming it right back in. She didn’t stop until the head split in two, leaving her clothes and surroundings covered in blood and brain matter.

Panting, she keeled over, dropping the machete to the ground to clutch the side of the counter for support. _“F - Fuc-_ ” She breathed, unable to finish the curse amidst heavy breaths. _Two_ runners had nearly done her in. That’s all it-

“Not bad, girl.” A voice called out, sending her scrambling for her machete, twisting around to point the sharp end of it towards the voice.

In the darkness beyond the flashlight she’d left on the counter, the figure stood in the doorway, twice her size. His jacket was soaked through just as hers had, a faint dripping sound filling the now silent room. She glowered at him, though she knew that he couldn’t really see it. Yet, the blade shined in the light, providing her the threat she needed.

“Get the fuck out,” she said lowly, gritting her teeth. The figure didn’t move, instead letting out an amused ‘hmmph’, shaking his head.

“Such language for such a young girl. Didn’t your parents teach you better?” His voice was light, airy, and she ignored the comment, pulling back the machete inch by inch, poised to strike. “I’d say some _common courtesy_ is in order, don’t you think?” He continued, seeming to ignore her silent threat as well. He simply waved instead. “Hello, my name is Jacques. Most people just call me Jack instead.” Silence met his words. “You see, this is the part of that ‘common courtesy’ thing where you tell me who _you_ are.”

“Fuck off.”

“Wow, your parents must’ve really hated you, huh?” He chuckled, shaking his head. His long hair whipped rain onto her face, and she jerked instinctively, wiping it away with her free hand. “Okay, then. I guess pleasantries are over. You see, I’m part of a larger group not too far from here, and if they found you pointing that thing at me like that, they wouldn’t be very happy. Do you want to be happy? It’s a great feeling. When everyone’s working together and not pointing machetes at each other. Super great.”

He really wasn’t helping his case. Every word he said only made it clearer for her that he couldn’t leave. Leaving her weapon raised, she spoke up. “Are you with the Saviors?”

That seemed to catch the man by surprise, his head tilting ever so slightly. A pause filled the air, one that stretched on for far too long to be comfortable. “No,” he said, sighing. “Though I know of them. They’ve caused us trouble in the past. How about you?”

“Why do you care?” Ellie snapped back.

“Well, the Saviors are the enemy. If they’re your enemy, too, then who’s to say that you and I are enemies?” His words hung in the air for a second before he continued. “So… Saviors enemy mean you no pointy with machete. Got it?”

Okay, that was enough. She swung the machete towards him, cursing as he stepped back, outside of her range. He let out a sigh, shaking his head as thunder briefly illuminated him in a silhouette. The faint indention of a scar along his cheek could be seen before the flash faded away.

“Alright, then. Can’t say I blame you.”

As Ellie tried to hit him again, he dodged out of the way, tackling her against the counter. A blade she hadn’t seen before glinted in the dim light, and she tried to kick him in the nuts, only for metal to meet flesh, the blade stabbing into her shoulder. She screamed, dropping the machete as she clawed at his arm. Another stab sent her wildly thrashing, forcing him off of her. Her shoulder throbbed, blood soaking her hand as she held it over the wound, but as he tried to tackle her again, she ducked, falling to the floor.

Crawling through the dark, she searched the ground in shaky movements for the switchblade she’d dropped earlier, her hand gripping it as the man turned her over, preparing to plunge his blade through her skull. She struck first, burying the knife straight into his gut, slashing to the right with as much strength she could muster. The blade sliced through skin, the man howling as blood seeped through the wound. He sent his knife plummeting towards her, but she jerked her head out of the way, the blade scraping against the wooden floor. She kept pulling on her own blade, until she ran out of body to cut through and it forced its way free violently.

The man’s face was illuminated in the cone of light from her flashlight, bright blue eyes bulging as blood gurgled in his mouth. The scar she’d seen before ran all the way from the corner of his lip to his ear, a thin beard masking some of it. As he finally succumbed to his wound, falling flat on her, Ellie struggled to push him off, grunting as her wounds flared from the exertion. Grasping onto anything to pull herself to her feet, she dropped the knife to the countertop, pulling her backpack off of her and desperately searching through it.

Cleaning the wound wasn’t easy, nor was bandaging it, but she wouldn’t make it back home without doing so. The weather outside was only getting worse, and Ellie ventured out into it without a second thought. Staying here any longer was a bad idea.

By the time she reached the gate, she collapsed onto the muddy ground. Fionn rushed out the gate to meet her, pulling her to her feet. “What the bloody hell did you do out there, girl?” He asked, astonished. Ellie didn’t answer him, just letting him carry her towards the infirmary.

By the time the gates closed behind her, she wasn’t even aware of her surroundings anymore, eyes closing by their own accord.

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

When she eventually came to, all she could do was grunt as the pain flared ever harder than before. Bright lights blinded her, but as her eyes adjusted, she noticed Eleanor sitting next to her, pricking a needle into her skin. She gave her a look, one that clearly meant for Ellie to stop moving, and the younger girl begrudgingly obliged. Laying her head back down, holding back pained gasps, she eventually found the strength to speak up.

“Is it bad?”

**Dot [Eleanor]**

The girl had been out for a little while, which had given Eleanor the time to work on stitching up the wounds on the girl’s shoulder. Trying to figure out the ‘who’ and the ‘why’ became too much of a mystery, so she set those questions aside. Clearly, it wasn’t the Saviors, since they would’ve shown up by now to ‘punish’ them for acting out. That meant that _someone else_ had been out there, who they were with… there’s no telling.

Ellie had cleaned up her wound decently enough, but by the time she’d arrived at the infirmary, she was bleeding through her bandages. Stopping the bleeding had been difficult, but from what she could tell, the blade had missed any vital arteries, so she’d live.

When Ellie eventually woke, the first question out of her mouth had been one Eleanor was expecting, and she attempted to give as calming of a smile as she could. No need for her to get worried about this. “You’re gonna be fine,” she said, eyes returning to the stitching. “Can you tell me who did this to you?” She asked, eyes flicking up after each poke through the girl’s skin.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Cursing breathlessly with each stab of the needle, Ellie tried to focus herself. That asshole’s face was still clear as daylight. Scars, long hair, bright blue eyes… no one she’d ever seen before. No friend of the Saviors, too. Made her wonder who the hell he was with. “He wasn’t a Savior,” she said, answering the unspoken question. “Some asshole with a scar. Said he was with another group nearby.”

Not knowing how close was agonizing. How many were in the area? Clearly, he wasn’t _alone_. How many more were in his _whole_ group? If she just started a war between Jackson and some other group of assholes…

**Dot [Eleanor]**

Concern etched across Eleanor’s face, stopping for only a second to comprehend what the girl was telling her. She was silently thankful for the confirmation that it _wasn’t_ a Savior, given that she didn’t want them tearing down her door for the kid, but knowing that another group was out there… this area was starting to become more dangerous by the day. Perhaps they weren’t so isolated after all.

And based on the look the girl had on her face, one of fear and guilt, this scarred man wasn’t alive anymore to be a problem. It was the rest of his group that would be.

“Don’t worry, we’ll handle that. For now, you just need to rest.” _Way to sound like a broken record, Eleanor._ She sighed as she finished the last stitches, cleaning the needle. She handed the girl a clean t-shirt to wear until she could go home, which she carefully slipped on just as a knock on the door filled the air.

Sighing, she called out, “Come in.”

**Dot [Tripp]**

From one shitshow to the next. Ellie had proven to be a rather aggravating thorn in his side recently, especially that day. Skipping out on the rest of her school day, going out and getting herself injured on an unsanctioned expedition. Dealing with Joel was already bothersome as it was, let alone when Ellie went out and did something stupid to get herself hurt. _Cure for goddamn mankind, my ass._

Reaching the girl’s room inside the infirmary, knocking, Tripp entered when Eleanor called out for him to enter. The girl seemed fine, if a bit pale. Whatever was going on with her, ‘sides getting herself into situations like this, needed to stop. He had enough on his plate.

“Give me a moment with her?” Tripp said, after getting caught up to speed about the assailant that attacked her. Of course it had to be some asshole toting around the fact he had a group out there. Just what they needed. When Eleanor finally nodded, saying that she’d be back in a few minutes, Tripp stood next to the girl’s bed, crossing his arms over his chest. “What the hell were you thinkin’?” He said right off the bat, shaking his head. “First you’re skippin’ school, now _this_? What the hell am I supposed to tell Joel?”

When she didn’t answer immediately, he pushed on. “I can’t have you goin’ out there anymore. You’re off the scavenging team.” Whether or not he was impressed with how she handled herself out there, it still put them at risk. “You’re lucky I ain’t-”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“What? Kicking me out?” Ellie finished for him, shooting a glare his way. This entire fucking thing was unfair. All she did was defend herself. If killing Jacques meant keeping him away from Jackson, then it needed to be done. She’d seen enough people like him to know that it was either him or her. “Just do it,” she continued, raising her voice. “I fucking **_dare you_**. At least then I can be with Clementine.” _Not that she’d ever want to see me again._

**Dot [Tripp]**

Tripp sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She was always like this, so fucking stubborn and ready to throw herself into an argument if it meant getting what she wanted. He’d yielded to her once, by letting her onto the scavenging team in the first place, but that had clearly been a mistake.

Stepping away from her bed and towards the door, Tripp threw over his shoulder, “If that asshole’s friends show up guns blazin’, I just might.” With that, he shut the door behind him, passing by Eleanor in the hallway, who gave him a disapproving glare. He ignored it. He had a mess to clean up.

**Dot [Eleanor]**

_Guess he told her about taking her off the team,_ Eleanor mused, frowning, as she opened up Ellie’s door, holding a plate of rice and beans in the other. Ellie looked about ready to fly out of that bed, but seemed content with not hurting herself further for the time being, which Eleanor was silently grateful for. She didn’t want to have to restitch her wounds.

“You hungry?” She asked quietly, which elicited a small nod out of the girl. Handing the plate over, Eleanor took the seat next to her bed once more, taking in a deep breath. This whole thing was… something else. Tripp was on the warpath again, as usual, and Eleanor… well, she had other ideas for Ellie.

“Your patch job wasn’t bad, by the way,” she said, smiling. “I can teach you more, if you want. Could use an assistant around here.”

“Just think of it as a way to get out of school. Apprenticeships are usually the next stage of the ‘education system’ here. Or, I guess the term they used before the apocalypse was ‘intern’, but yeah, you get the point.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

The food wasn’t great, but Ellie was hungry enough not to care. Devouring half of the plate of food before Eleanor even spoke up, what the older woman asked left her a bit taken aback. Well, clearly she wasn’t going outside the walls anymore, and any excuse to get away from Lydia at the moment seemed like a good idea…

_Ah, what the hell. Got nothing better to do._

She slowly nodded, giving her approval of the idea. Learning a few things wouldn’t hurt, anyway. The last time someone she cared about was hurt, she couldn’t even…

She wasn’t gonna let that happen again.

**Vi [Kat]**

You have a friend for two goddamn weeks and they almost get themselves killed. Go figure, that’s just the way the burnt casket falls. It’s messy, all over the place, and it leaves you covered in ash that’s nearly impossible to get off. That’s just what Ellie was. Nearly impossible to get off her mind. She always told herself that she didn’t need people anymore. Ellie wasn’t a friend, she was just a person to talk to. An acquaintance at best. But then that damn… girl weaseled her way into her brain. When Kat heard Ellie was dragged into the infirmary thanks to her foolishly running off to hell knows where… Kat wanted to push it aside. Kat wanted to just go home that evening and know it didn’t matter to her. She wanted to.

And then again, here she was, walking down the halls of the infirmary. She could insist till the day she dropped that she doesn’t care about Ellie and her well being… but that would just make her a liar, now wouldn’t it?

The girl’s footsteps slowed as she halted by the door, blue hues glaring at it hesitantly. What was she doing here? Does this overstep boundaries that acquaintances have? Is she treading into territory she’s long forgotten? “This better not come back to bite me in the arse-” A hand moved up, tapping gently on the door as she straightened up her posture. It’s now or she’ll never stop thinking about this.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Eleanor’s attention had shifted from Ellie’s shoulder to her arm, which Ellie had just noticed didn’t have the gauze wrapped around it anymore.

“When were you going to tell me you hid the bite?” Eleanor asked, raising an eyebrow as Ellie visibly winced. “What did you use to do this?”

Ellie didn’t answer at first, silently cursing herself. Looking away, she answered, “Battery acid.”

“Ellie, if you wanted to hide the bite, I could’ve helped you,” Eleanor sighed, grabbing Ellie’s arm, whether to examine it or comfort her, Ellie wasn’t sure. “There’s plenty of ways to-”

A handful of knocks on the door interrupted her, leaving Eleanor sighing irritatedly, while Ellie’s was one of relief. Standing up, the woman approached the door. _Please don’t be Joel, please don’t be Joel..._

The door opened to reveal Kat on the other side, a fate a whole lot worse than Joel.

_Shit._

Eleanor glanced between them, giving Kat a semi-friendly once-over, before clearing her throat. “I’ll just leave you two alone for a minute.”

Disappearing, Ellie was left with the Savior.

Begrudgingly, she sat up in her bed, clutching her shoulder as she did so. The wound hurt like a motherfucker, leaving her wincing. Yet it still felt better than talking to _her_.

“Hey,” she said softly, eyes falling to her legs obscured by the blanket on top of her.

**Vi [Kat]**

The second Kat was met with Eleanor... was not a moment she wanted back. Yes they were sweet, but she knew the adults don’t exactly find her the most trustworthy person in the bunch. If they had it their way, she wouldn’t even be in Jackson in the first place. Once given the room, Katrina slipped inside, watching the door close as if that was her last attempt at getting out of this situation… which it was. As Ellie’s voice rose, so did her head. She looked over to the girl as they sat up, her feet moving her closer before she had much of a chance to respond. “Hey- You feeling alright, E? When I heard what happened… You look like shit-” _Smooth move, Kat._

The taller girl took a seat on the edge of their bed, being sure to leave distance as to not accidentally hit their shoulder. Worried was… slightly an understatement. She was freaking out on the inside. The girl looked terrible, and to make matters worse, she didn’t know how to help. “What I mean to say is- What… happened out there…?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Having her in such close proximity had her holding her breath, and it took a moment for her to realize that she couldn’t just hold it forever. Sighing as the inevitable question arose, Ellie didn’t fight answering it. People were gonna find out anyway.

“I needed to blow off some steam. Went out scavenging, got a little more than I bargained for.” She looked away, fingertips scratching at her skin before she realized she’d been scratching at the burn. Hissing in her breath, she forced herself to stop.

“The asshole was stronger than me, should’ve seen it coming.”

**Vi [Kat]**

“I could have told you that fighting someone you’ve never met before was a recipe for disaster-” She mumbled under her breath, looking over to the girl as she drew her hand away from her arm. Kat’s brows narrowed, eyes lingering on the burn for a moment before she shot a wary gaze her way. Hesitantly, the girl’s hand moved up to carefully lay on her shoulder… the good one. She took a deep breath, followed quickly by a tired sigh.

“Please, don’t run off again. At least by yourself. I can get the whole clearing your head thing, but running off alone in this world is stupid. I’ll give you this much, you aren’t in the right mind set. No one would be if they were in a shit situation… but next time just ask- You know I’m always willing to blow off my shift to keep an eye on your back. You could have been killed today- And, I think I’d be a pretty shit friend if I didn’t at least try to help prevent that.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Hearing all of that from Kat only made her feel worse. She hated the fact that the only decent person she’d found to talk to in Clementine’s absence was a _Savior_ , yet she couldn’t muster the courage to bring it up yet. The physical contact made her move slightly, but she forced herself to not jerk away. She didn’t want to be like everyone else, acting like an asshole for no reason other than because of who Kat was. This had to be done calmly, respectfully. Kat had earned that much from her.

“They’re not letting me outside the walls anymore, so I guess that’s a blessing in disguise.” Ellie said, sighing. “I... saw Clementine the other day, out in the woods. Didn’t end well. Made some stupid choices, and... yeah. It’s been a shitty day.”

“Thanks for coming to see me, though, I do appreciate it,” she added, genuinely. Not a lot of people left here that’d care to, anyway. “You didn’t have to.”

**Vi [Kat]**

Katrina’s smile dropped ever so slightly at the mention of Clementine’s name. Girl had more on her plate than she realized. The mix of their reserved body language, and the small move to attempt escape from her grasp… well that caused her to lift her hand away and place it in her own lap instead. They did just get attacked, she should be more careful with how exactly she approached her.

“I did have to- E, you have a funny way of getting a hold on people, I’ll give you that. I wouldn’t have slept right knowing I didn’t at least check up on you. I had to see for myself you were alright...- Health wise...-” The ginger offered a shrug, her smile perking up. It was nice having someone to worry about. She just wished she didn’t pick the biggest risk-taker in Jackson. “Besides, who else was going to come make sure you weren’t frowning? Come on. Let me see that award-winning Ellie Smile. Life is shit, but we at least got moments like this, huh, E? Just two pals being able to hang out? That’sa reason to smile, because it’s in the now.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Despite telling herself that she shouldn’t, Ellie couldn’t help but smile. Kat was good at what she does, Ellie’ll give her that. Professional consoler. Still, that lingering thought ruined the moment, and in an instant, that smile dropped again. Seemed to be getting harder to hold one.

The short silence that followed gave her time to collect her thoughts, shaking her head as if trying to organize them that way. Didn’t work. Finally, she broke the silence, her voice cracking softly. “Lydia told me that you were a Savior today.” It felt so much harder to say that than Ellie anticipated. “And I- I still can’t believe it.”

“And after everything, I’m getting called a ‘fake fuck’ and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stop being your friend, because I think you’re cool, and you don’t deserve all the hate everyone’s throwing at you, and it sucks, and I-” She was stumbling over her words, coming to a halt like a trainwreck. “I don’t want you think I’m using you either, ‘cause I’m not, it’s just- nice to have someone to talk to again. Fuck, I’m just-” She put her head in her hands, forcing herself to take in several deep breaths.

Being alone sucked, no matter how much she knew that it was the only way.

**Vi [Kat]**

That’s what this was about. Kat knew it was only a matter of time till the girl brought it up, she just didn’t think it’d be so soon. In her defense, she assumed the girl knew. It’s not every day a citizen of Jackson just popped up out of nowhere without people taking notice and shoving a label on them. “I thought you knew, so I didn’t think it was worth it to mention it.” She mumbled, resting her head in her hand for a moment to think over how she planned to explain her. Why did she have to? It’s not like she owed anyone an explanation for a choice she didn’t even make in the beginning. Yet, something tugged at her to do it… Like she had to prove to the girl she’s not some heartless monster just because she’s labeled ‘Savior’.

“Lydia, huh? I bet she only knows what everyone else tells her.” She definitely didn’t mean to immediately come off so bitter… but it’s not the most amazing news in the world to hear people talking about you in a negative stance… which is the only stance she can think of in reference to her group. “It’s not like I joined the place willingly. I grew up there. Big difference. And the Saviors aren’t all bad, you know. It’s a tight community… they keep each other safe. They just… aren’t the best outside of it. Hell, I can guarantee the other Saviors living here are assholes… some much more than others.” She let her words fade out, eyes basically glued to the floor at this point. She shouldn’t think of her now, but that statement always brings Ava up in her mind. Everything about them was good, a false sense of hope she needed. Ellie’s only a friend, but she can’t help but worry sometimes she might eventually be the same. A false sense of hope. She’s not fake… but it’s hard to believe she’s able to actually speak to someone so real.

“You aren’t using me, I get it. Fuck, this is so dumb- I should have realized the Savior thing mattered, I would have mentioned it sooner instead of leading you on, especially with everything that happened. I- Look. I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to. It’s nice to have a friend again, but if this is causing you issues, I don’t have to stick around. E, trust me, please… I really want to be here, talking to you-”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie believed that Kat was a good person. Ellie believed that not every Savior was an asshole. Not everyone was going to see it that way, though. Should that bother her? It did. Yet, seeing how much Kat hated being in that position, and how genuine she sounded _wanting_ to talk to her, she found herself not caring more and more. She wasn’t like _him_. She **_wasn’t_**. If Ellie treated her like everyone else, then she’d just be another asshole in this shithole community, treating people the same way they had treated her, and still do.

What was the phrase again? ‘Us outsiders have to stick together’?

Ellie’s hand reached out on its own accord, fingers wrapping around the girl’s forearm. “I want you here, too.” Felt hard to say that, like a rock stuck in her throat, but she meant it all the same. “I just… thought you should know. That I know. I guess.” She was rambling again. She pulled away then, visibly deflating.

“I can’t lose somebody else.”

**Vi [Kat]**

She physically tensed up to the touch, gaze shifting down to their hand the entire time it was there. What was she doing here? Why did she let herself get so attached? It would have just been easier if she walked away that day she stumbled into the church at the wrong time. It would have been simpler to avoid letting them into her home and talking to them about stuff that wasn’t any of their business. She fucked up big time. She let the girl into her life, and now she didn’t want to lose that. As they drew back, her hands tightened into balls. She stared down at the floor for a moment, each passing second seeming to feel like a lifetime. She was really doing this, huh?

The girl finally took a deep breath, one that felt as if she hadn’t been breathing since she walked into the room. After a moment, the girl scooted just a bit close, her arms carefully wrapping around her friend as she pulled her into a hug... one much more for herself than for the sake of the other. “If you tell anyone I did this, I’ll deny everything- But I’m not going anywhere…”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Wrapped in Kat’s arms, Ellie finally saw fit to cry, tears staining her face when they eventually broke apart. She wiped them away quickly, sniffling. She was tired of crying. Tired of feeling helpless and a burden. And, at the crux of it all, she was just… tired.

She tried to stop herself from thinking about how much she wished Clementine was here, too. How much she wanted to take what she said back. Tell her how much she already missed her when she wasn’t even gone yet.

In the end, all those regrets would stick with her. When Clementine was gone, that chance to make things right would be gone forever. Maybe it was better that way, she didn’t really know. Now that she wasn’t allowed to leave again, it didn’t really matter.

But she still had Kat to lean on, at least until she could stand on her own two feet again. That meant something. More than Ellie could voice in that moment. And Ellie would carry both of their weight if she had to, if Kat ever needed the same thing.

After all, that’s what friends were for.


	4. Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this chapter before December 8, 2020, two new scenes were added to this chapter. I'd super recommend reading them, I think they turned out really well :) New chapter is also finished drafting, so I'm working on editing it. Should be up this week, I'm hoping!

[Music for this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RgmT2MT5HY)

_10:30 PM - 2024_

**Ledge [Lydia]**

A chilling breeze howled and whistled through the leaves, accompanied by the dim moonlight that would surely be the girl’s only solace tonight. Lydia sat, curled up against a tree stump, staring into the dense abyss that was the forest. Grumbles of the dead lingered from afar, sounds that she’d grown accustomed to, maybe the only ones that brought her comfort. It was a nice thing to fall asleep to, if she could just get her eyes to shut…

Lydia could see several others of her kind, congregating around a makeshift fire. On any other night like this, she might’ve tried to join them. Only, there was no way to be sure… that _they_ weren’t there too. The ones that’d jumped her last night. She’d _almost_ asked for some more clothes yesterday, but backed out at the last second. She feared what would happen, and what they’d make her do to get it. Like it was repeated time and time again: weakness was not to be shown.

It was a decision she was regretting now, but if keeping quiet meant she’d be left alone in peace. Then it was worth it.

The wind picked up, and the Whisperer’s knees instinctively drew closer to her chest, cradling herself even tighter than before as the shivering got worse. A ripped t-shirt did little to shield her from the harsh cold. But the mask kept her face a little bit warm at least...

**Art [James]**

Cold. Cold today.

He said goodnight to Him, and they parted again. Not tired. Not tonight. Not since many nights.

The fire burned strongly for many hours. It settled well against his skin, so too against the one beneath it. He thought, _at least this. It feels pleasant._ Tomorrow wouldn’t be so. The day after, least of all. But maybe soon. He wanted to see Him again. Talk.

When that fire weakened around his feet, the air moving the flames across the camp, he saw Her again. He thought nothing of it. He had before, often. Thoughts made him weak. Best to forget. Easier to.

But, even still, it was him standing up, walking away from the fire. He and no one else.

He watched Her for a while. Unsure. He made no movement. His eyes said nothing. His voice, only a whisper.

“Hurt?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

A voice. Soft and shallow. Was enough to make her jump. Startled, Lydia’s head jolted in the direction of a sound. When her eyes met another pair behind a mask, apprehension was all she felt, a sickness coursing through her chest, making it thump.

It was just one this time. But there was no way of knowing if more were hiding nearby.

What did he want? Why was he here?

Lydia was slow to answer, and her eyes would eventually drift towards the dead leaves on the ground. To his question, she would steadily shake her head. Hurt. It only meant an easier target.

“Cold.” She whispered back.

**Art [James]**

He nodded, understanding. “Fire,” his whisper chimed. “Warm.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

She didn’t move, didn’t dare to look up at him. She sat there, arms wrapped around her knees. Rigid and frozen like a rock. Unwilling to stand. Lydia couldn’t let them see. Had to make sure no one caught sight of her limping. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if they knew.

The Whisperer shook her head again, shuddering under her breath.

**Art [James]**

He said nothing.

It _was_ cold. Growing colder. But he didn’t mind. They didn’t feel cold. It was just wind. Just wind.

He nudged Her with the point of his boot, trying to get her eyes on him. A thumb pointed at his chest, he whispered. “Stay...?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Although her features were obscured by the mask, the eyes behind it spoke. Her child-like gaze found the other Whisperer. Unsure what to make of him, yet yearning for something warm all the same. She didn’t know what frightened her more. How much she wanted him to. Or what might happen tonight if he didn’t.

She nodded.

**Art [James]**

He nodded back, surveying Her with eyes pale and dead.

He set himself down slowly. Grass made noise. Awful. With both hands resting against his thighs, he breathed as slow as he had moved. He breathed, wishing the wind would go away, even though they didn’t feel any cold.

“Tomorrow,” He spoke, facing forward. Always facing forward. “Strong.”

“Don’t want to kill you.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

_Just him. Not a trick._

He was different. She could tell by the sound of his voice. That was the only way to recognise the others. Even then, it was hard. But she was _almost_ sure of it. He wasn’t one of the Whisperers that dragged her outside of the camp yesterday. She never usually tried to fight it. But she wanted to prove to Alpha that she wasn’t weak, just this once.

She was. Otherwise she would’ve been strong enough to fend them off.

_Be strong. You have to be strong. Not weak._

They were going to kill her tomorrow. When they saw she wouldn’t be able to walk with them. To keep up. If Alpha didn’t notice. Then the same ones from yesterday would, and they’d see an opportunity to do the same thing to her again, and again the day after that. It would never stop. And now, _he_ might kill her if he didn’t see improvement by the morning.

Lydia squeezed her eyes shut, hoping the darkness would shield her eyes. It was just getting too much to bear. She couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t want to die.

_Don_ _’t. Fight it. Fight it._

“I— I’m sorry.” She apologized, giving the one before her a response her mother had heard one too many times. Her voice gave way, snapping in half like a twig, and the tears started to brew. “Everything hurts.” It was no excuse. She knew that.

“Scared they will come back tonight.” She whimpered, finding it hard to form sentences between the uneven breaths, trying her hardest to whisper when all she wanted to do was something worse. Burying her head into her knees, she gritted her teeth together, trying not to make a sound as she began to sob.

**Art [James]**

Again. Again, He said nothing.

Something pounded at his chest. Loud, like nothing should be. But He had no voice to speak it.

Only James.

He waited until more left. Until the campfire had no ears. He let his arms go numb from the light air, his fingers dead, unfeeling. And then James whispered to Lydia.

“Keep you safe.

“For tonight.”

James looked at her, gauging the girl’s response.

“Trust me?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

She almost couldn’t believe her ears. _Almost._

It got the girl to look up, not just to dry her tears with her wrist. But to meet his gaze. An actual night where she could close her eyes and not have to worry? Could it be one of Alpha’s tests? Or was it real? “You… mean it?”

“Not lying?” She asked, with a renewed sense of hope.

**Art [James]**

James stood up carefully so as not to startle her, as if he could help it. He looked behind his shoulder, snapping his gaze quickly back to her. And he extended his hand. “Please.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

For a moment, she thought he’d dropped the act. That he was finally getting up to come and attack her. But it didn’t happen. Instead, Lydia was staring at a hand bearing a tattered glove that stopped just short at the knuckles. She took a breath and swallowed, before again, looking into his eyes.

“Okay…” She finally said, before taking his hand.

**Art [James]**

They walked a very short mile, until the fire was just a golden tint at their backs, long away from view. James did all he could to hold her softly, aware he’d be the only one that day.

“Here,” he whispered, stopping in front of a tent large enough for two. It took him a while to say anything after. He let go of her hand, and said one last thing before ducking inside: “Wait. Be back soon.”

Outside, there was nothing to listen for. Only more whispers. They went on, and on, and on… until they ended, as a single word. Hostile and loud.

“No.”

Then it was quiet. Only once the silence had set back in, that James left the tent and dragged its folds open, motioning Lydia in. It had nothing but a single cloth to lie over, and another to lie under.

Under, was a whisperer. Their back turned. James knew they wouldn’t want to turn back around until dawn.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

She walked with him. If one would consider it _walking_. More like hobbling. She had to use him as support the entire way there. All while bearing the nagging sensation at the back of her mind, that he was leading her into another trap. That feeling only subsided when she reluctantly made her way into the tent.

Small, but cozy.

Lydia glanced around rather awkwardly, noticing another Whisperer who was ‘sleeping.’

She decided to pay no mind, and not to bite the hand that fed her.

Eventually, she found a spot to settle into. And, for once, had something soft to lie down on. No one would be able to find her here, not unless they _really_ tried. She was safe, for now. Upon realising it, she turned over to the one who’d let her inside. “Thank you…”

“Thank you so much.”

**Art [James]**

He frowned, from under the mask. And he realized it then that Lydia wouldn’t be able to see it.

“Wish I… could do more,” he said, and left it at that.

James found his own spot. Cramped, not very comfortable. Didn’t matter. He could finally take his skin off. The boy’s hair fell over his eyes, dirty and disheveled. Not many got to see it anymore. His frown, this time, was visible. And he felt all things.

He felt like a coward. He felt like a traitor. He felt weak.

He wanted to cry, too. 

**Ledge [Lydia]**

The next time Lydia opened her eyes, it was to squint at a small shard of sunlight that peaked through the folds. That split second of complete obliviousness followed. It was because _this time_ , she hadn’t woken to the feeling of wind hitting her face, or grime smudged into the side of her cheek. But to the warmth of a blanket.

Only then, did the Whisperer remember where she was.

She winced, hauling herself upright into a sitting position, before glancing around the _now_ empty tent. It still hurt, maybe not as much as yesterday. But there was no way her injuries would be gone after one night, and maybe that was a foolish thing to want to believe anyway.

The faint sound of crackling met her ears, coming from outside. Lydia crawled towards the end of the tent, peeking through the small gap. Only to see the same boy from last night, his back turned to her. Tending to a fire.

Against her better judgement, which was telling her to leave immediately, Lydia dragged herself out of the tent. Her rotted boots thumped against the leftovers of dead canopy that’d fallen from above.

Slowly but surely, she joined his side. Her right arm hung low, and her other hand cradled its elbow. All was silent, as she watched several shades of orange flicker into each other.

“The other one.” She murmured.

“Wasn’t very happy last night...”

Even though she was welcomed in, it wasn’t like she didn’t have ears. It was easy to tell when she wasn’t wanted around, and she understood why. Did they know who she was? Better she left the mask on just in case. It was selfish of her to accept his help, to put herself at risk of being punished, _and_ him.

“I won’t do it again.”

**Art [James]**

Some said mornings felt colder than nights… because you had light to compare the cold to. It was true for fire as well.

He felt nothing, but James only felt colder.

He’d learned to pick apart sounds just like the infected had. Heard everything. Picked it apart in his mind. James was happy to see her again, but He said nothing. Didn’t feel right to. She was nobody. You don’t say hello, you don’t remember faces. No one sticks out.

But James smiled. Under the mask, where he felt safe to. It didn’t last. “Other one says… he’ll warn the Alpha. Next time.” He extended his gloves toward the fire pit, curling fingers into fists before stretching them out. Turning away. “Don’t blame him. Scared.

“Scared they might… think he’s helping me. Might kill him too.”

His voice cracked, even in that soft whisper. Everything was. Slowly, in its own time. And he couldn’t help it. James turned his attention back to her, growing sadder as he spoke.

“Not me. Can’t watch it happen anymore. Do nothing.”

His gaze turned frail, crumbling even when so well hidden. James stared at the knife by his side, lying unattended in the hard ground. “Could… make it go away,” he said.

“Want me to?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Pain.

She could see it in his eyes, hear it through his voice. A cold shiver ran all the way down her spine, and a pair of widened eyes were all she had to offer in return. Not for herself, but for him.

Misery. It had a habit of following her around, affecting everyone that dared get near her. Even the… ones that didn’t prey on her, like vultures. She didn’t want him to feel like it was his fault, _her_ weakness had nothing to do with him. Afterall, the strongest of animals weren’t expected to help each other in the wild, they fended for themselves.

Lydia’s eyes trailed downwards, settling on a silver object that stuck out like a sore thumb in the crisp morning light. The same one _he_ was staring at. Silence lingered on, and so did the thoughts in the Whisperer’s head.

Why was it? That it felt like she could breathe again? Better than she had in a long time.

**Dot [Alpha]**

She was watching. As she always was. Alpha prided herself in knowing every little thing that went on in her herd. And it didn’t take much to get people to talk. To spy and carry out her will.

Easier still to keep track of her daughter.

She watched the two talk around the campfire, as invisible as the next guardian that stumbled around the forest. Her face obscured by the mask she very rarely allowed herself to take off. Even now, Lydia looked weak. Tired. And the boy spoke too much. Tended too much. Empathy. Such a _human_ emotion.

When it came time to approach the campfire, she did so deliberately. Each step was silent, only announcing her presence with the snap of a twig when she was close enough to desire to.

“Lydia,” she said, her voice a whisper in the wind. “I’ve been looking all over for you. You worry me.”

What worried her, really, was the weakness she showed in front of the others. No one would approve of her as the next Alpha if she remained weak-willed, and weak of body.

“But I… see you’ve… made a friend.” Her eyes locked onto the boy at the fire, her voice lowering. Bitter. Sharp.

**Art [James]**

Breath caught in his throat, burning. James couldn’t believe what he saw.

“No...” He said quickly, eyes large, his pulse pounding. The boy didn’t know where to look, didn’t know how to move. He might’ve been dead already. “Wanted to share tactics,” James went on in a panicked mutter.

“Lonely. Out of line.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Lumps plagued her throat, ones she couldn’t swallow no matter how many times she tried. If she could shrivel down to the size of the very leaves she stood on, the Whisperer would’ve done it in a heartbeat.

Discomfort was all throughout her chest, heart pounding and pulsating even harder… responding to the sound of a singular voice. Softer than silk, yet it had Lydia feeling weak at the knees.

Right then. She wanted to vomit.

“He’s not my friend.” She huffed out, hoping it’d get her attention away from _him_.

“Just, helping with the fire.” She explained, keeping her gaze where it always belonged in her mother’s presence. The ground.

**Dot [Alpha]**

Liar. How many times had Lydia lied to her to save herself — fewer to save someone else. Alpha would have none of it.

“Lydia,” she cooed the name, shaking her head. “You know better than to lie to me.”

Metal glinted in the morning light as she held a blade to the boy’s throat, bending her knees to be at their eye level.

“You were weak. So he helped you. He was weak. And together, you tried to be strong. But you’re not. Ain’t that right, Lydia?” Her head tilted, waiting for a reply. No more lies.

**Art [James]**

James traced his fingers along the ground, reaching for the knife by his side. He’d be ready. Whatever it took.

_I_ _’m sorry_ , he pleaded, to all those who couldn’t hear it.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Every bit of willpower she had left, was snuffed out at the sight of a blade, hovering dangerously close to that boy’s neck. She was trying, for a while now. Trying so hard to pick up the many pieces her mind and body had been shattered into. But the Whisperer couldn’t pretend anymore, to be something she wasn’t.

And so. Lydia crumbled. Falling to her hands and knees, at Alpha’s feet. At her mercy.

“I asked for help, I know I shouldn’t have but I did!” Whispers turned to pleads. Lydia knew who she was talking to. The Alpha. But she hoped that someone else would answer, now more than ever. “It- it’s not his fault, it’s mine…!”

“Please don’t hurt him…” If Alpha killed him for helping her, _the only_ one that would, she didn’t see a way to live with it. The guilt.

She found an ounce of courage to lift her head, just this once. To meet her mother’s eyes with her own. Stained with tears she couldn’t hold in anymore.

“Please, mom.”

**Dot [Alpha]**

Perhaps she should slit his throat anyway. She’d be doing the herd a favor. She’d be getting rid of a weak link. A chain that must remain unbroken. Yet, Lydia wasn’t any different. The herd would do better without them.

No. The only thing she could do was continue trying to toughen her daughter up. Prepare her. For too long, she’d been sheltered under her wing. That time was long past.

“This will not happen again,” she said, finality in her voice. “You won’t ever show weakness again. You understand?”

“The next time you do, I know who to punish for it.”

She made no move to lower the knife.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

“Yes, mot-” She stuttered, catching herself this time, before it was said again. A chance. Those didn’t come. Not for anyone else she saw that showed weakness. _Why now?_

She lowered her head again, bowing. Her chest hurt, and her breath was ragged.

“Alpha.”

**Dot [Alpha]**

When she did lower the knife, she found pleasure in the thin slit she’d made into the boy’s throat. He deserved worse. He would receive worse in the future. Being responsible for Lydia’s weakness was a death sentence like no other. Either Lydia proved herself to the herd, or Alpha would get what she wanted in the end. Either way would be a victory.

She stood up. Her blade remained at her side. “Meet me near the clearing after you eat. You’ll need your strength,” she told her daughter.

“We’ve still got a lot to do.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Lydia almost couldn’t believe it, but gently nodded all the same. She remained on her knees, hoping that would be the end of it. Still, that sick feeling would never subside until all was silent, and she could only hear the soft, peaceful groans of the guardians.

* * *

_5:15 PM - August 4, 2026_

**Ledge [Lydia]**

It felt peaceful here, at least when compared to the bustling conundrum of chaos that was Jackson. The streets were less dense, save for the occasional dozen or so workers that would show up to maintain the electricity supply. They were far enough away not to care about bothering her though, which Lydia was grateful for. By now, the girl forgot just how long it had been since she sat down here. Her back was against a tree stump, in such a position that wet her clothes due to last night’s storm, but she couldn’t care less. A solemn gaze was fixed on the smidgen of light she could see through the clouds, which offered her mind the moment of respite it desperately needed. She dreaded the wretched moment of picking herself up and having to go back ‘home.’ If that’s what she could even still call it.

Today felt no different than yesterday, in terms of what was going on with Lydia, on the inside, and out. Thoughts ran across her mind, some more unpleasant than others, ones she was glad no one else would know. Scuffs of mud clouded the fingers on the girl’s right hand, which had been continuously scraping away into the moistened dirt, leaving a small hole with a mound beside it. Eventually, she brought the closed fist into her lap, staring at it for a solid few moments. Lydia slowly opened her hand, revealing the slimy, wriggling little bodies of what she’d dug up from the ground. Her gaze was fixed on the lower life forms for the longest time, eyes devoid of any expression. They were so weak, powerless… oblivious to their impending fate. Feelings that Lydia supposed she was very well accustomed to herself.

With Jackson’s current state, Lydia couldn’t help but wonder if it really _was_ true. That places like this were trying to hold on to a way of life that was already long dead, and would eventually fall one way or another. Only time would answer that question, but if she ever had to go back to _these_ types of drastic measures again, then she might as well put herself to the test.

Without even trying to prepare herself first, Lydia violently forced a worm into her mouth. At a steady pace, she began to chew down on its spongy texture as it squiggled against her tongue. It was going well, she thought.

That was until the gagging and retching started. Lydia tried to resist, placing a hand over her mouth as her eyes began to water. Her body knew what it wanted though, and with a few more heaves, the girl lurched forward to her hands and knees, spluttering out a mashed variant of what she’d just tried to swallow.

The rest of the worms were still in the girl’s hand, but not for long, since she threw them as far away from her as she possibly could. Lydia sat there, panting, eyes widened, and quite frankly dumbfounded at what she’d just done. One thing was certain though, a harsh truth that she wasn’t sure how to accept.

“Fuck…”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl followed after Lydia. The humid air filled with the distinct smell of wet ground. It brought back memories. There was a time, an eternity ago, when he used to get excited about the wet season. After every storm, he’d go outside and play with his friends. The soft muddy ground, the wet streets, the singing of the birds coming out of hiding and the occasional rainbow in the gray sky. It all came together to make the neighborhood feel like an entirely new place that he could explore.

His mom didn’t seem to like rain quite as much as him however; she saw it as a nuisance, an inconvenience that disrupted her daily routine. Now he understood her a bit better. Carl still liked rain, but now he was too busy thinking about all the problems it’d bring to a young community to really enjoy it. Fallen trees blocking road, power outages, drowned crops and a whole list of things they had to deal with. At least it washed away the smell a bit. What else could he do but accept it? It was one more thing taken away by the dead.

He sighed in relief as he sat on a fallen log next to Lydia and finally rested his legs. Maybe it was time to talk. There were many things to be said, especially after these frantic days. He was interrupted before he could even open his mouth however. Lydia digged into the wet ground and scooped a handful of worms. For a split second he wondered what she was planning yet somehow he already knew in the back of his mind. As she gulped down the poor bugs, Carl could only stare with a combination of confusion and concern. Maybe it was something the whisperers used to do but he didn’t really want bring that topic up right now.

“Eh… Hmmm… We got food back in Jackson, you know?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Somehow, without even needing to catch a glance at the full outline of his silhouette, Lydia knew it was him. Carl had, of course, decided to follow her, much to the girl’s embarrassment. She bet the one-eyed kid thought she looked like some weird nutcase right now… which to his credit, probably wasn’t far from the truth. Her body remained frozen in place, gaze trying to fix itself on anything that wasn’t the other teenager who’d just slumped down next to her.

“You trying to be funny?” Lydia knew he wasn’t, but she genuinely didn’t know what else to say. The blonde turned to face him, meeting his confused glare, before giving in to the pressure nearly immediately. “Look, I’m not being gross, I just… need to be sure I can still m-” She stuttered, eyes squeezing shut at the words ready to come out of her mouth.

“Don’t know how much longer I can stand it here, Carl.” Even in the most desperate of conditions, the fact that she couldn’t even swallow a stupid worm anymore was worrying. She’d spent too long inside here, and it’d made her weaker. How would she ever expect to survive in the wilderness if this place ever fell?

Tripp was the leader now, and Lydia really doubted he’d be able to do much for Jackson, given what his noble ‘first act’ of leadership was. How long until Negan sucked their food supply dry? Until it was only _Saviors_ that lived inside here?

It might as well have _all_ been Saviors, because these days Lydia was having trouble telling the difference between _them_ and the certain Jackson residents she _thought_ were genuine. Maybe they all deserved each other in the end.

“It’s all falling apart… a - and I don’t know what to do.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl didn’t know how to answer. What was he supposed to say? Things in Jackson were far from okay.

An idea snuck into Carl’s mind, though. Maybe they’d be better off away from Jackson. Just tell the people he cared about and leave with them. Leave Jackson to its own luck…

No. He couldn’t do that. These people deserved a shot, even after what they did to Lee and Clem. His dad would’ve never given up. Yet… he really didn’t know where to start; taking on Negan was a titanic task. People could die, people would die, including the ones he cared about or even himself. He didn’t even know if it was a fight worth fighting, yet everything he knew about the world told him it was a fight he needed to be part of.

“I know this place sucks right now, but I don’t think leaving is any better. It’s harsh outside. I’ve been there. Not alone though. I don’t think I’d have made it without a group.” Of course there was also the part of Carl that didn’t want to see Lydia go, because he’d miss her. “And I’m not trying to say you’re not strong enough. Shit, you’re probably better than me at surviving in the wilderness. But, out there, it’s not about _if_ , it’s about **_when_**. No matter how good you are.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

She knew he had a good point about the outside, though she couldn’t help but wonder if the part about staying was just a bunch of dribble from one _very_ overly optimistic child. It was so typical of Carl, always trying to believe the best in other people, a trait that she found to be ridiculous, yet always admired him for all the same. However, in this case… she just couldn’t see whatever _he_ saw in these people, no matter how hard the girl tried. Then again, he always gelled well into their way of living, whereas Lydia remained outside of the circle… and maybe that was her own fault. Even so, what good was a group when all they ever did was fight amongst each other?

“You saw what happened to Clementine. All it takes is one mistake… then that’s it, you’re out.” Lydia shrugged, knowing that when all those layers of the situation were stripped away, the simplified version was that Jackson had pretty much thrown a kid out there to die. “I guess people here don’t need skin masks to do the same shit my mom used to. They just call it a ‘vote’ now.” Lydia spoke, annoyance evident in her voice. Total bullshit was what it was, there was nothing fair about appealing to a bunch of clueless lynch mobs.

She went silent, fought her hardest to keep it that way, but all the same, she decided that she didn’t give a shit anymore. It wasn’t like anyone else would hear this.

_Screw it_ _…_

“Y’know, I could’ve said something back at the church, about what I did to Dwight, maybe even try to get Clementine off the hook… chose not to.” The blonde had long accepted that Dwight’s murder was a mistake. Killing him did _nothing_ for them in the end. Clementine wouldn’t have had anything to shoot at if Dwight was around to lead Negan off Jackson’s trail. Lydia, being the one who had pulled the trigger, had to live with what she assumed to be a certain fact. There was no denying that she could’ve given Dwight a chance to prove himself, something the girl wished she had done now more than ever. The secret that only Carl had kept only served to eat away at her every day since.

“Wanna know why?” She turned to face the boy, amusement in her tone, yet her eyes spun a completely different tale, almost soulless, looking about as empty as she felt. “I think… in my own fucked up head, I told myself I needed this place more than she did, that I _deserved_ it more. No way was I giving it up.” Lydia explained, describing what was nothing more than an attempt at self-preservation on her end. It only made her hate Ellie even more for not being there to act on her inability to stop Clementine’s exile. It was hardly smart for Lydia to throw herself under the bus, even less so to be ostracized again. Even after the short girl with the ballcap had saved her life, she _still_ wasn’t willing to fully return the favor.

“Funny, right?” Surely, even someone like Carl couldn’t defend Lydia’s true nature. If anything, it’d be amusing for her to see him try.

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Lydia’s words rang truer than ever. The people of Jackson were now comparable to a Whisperer. And with Negan’s clutches closing in on them, it seemed like everything Jackson represented would soon be no more.

“You want my opinion? In that moment, I didn’t know what was right. It was just a shitty situation. They were out for blood. In hindsight, I kinda wish I had done something.” Carl said when Lydia revealed why she hadn’t said anything about Dwight. The way she worded it stood out to him the most. What did she exactly mean with ‘deserve’? “I could’ve said something too, but I didn’t. I don’t really feel good about it, but i didn’t want to get any more people in trouble. I didn’t want to be the one to throw you under the bus.”

Carl still wondered why he hadn’t said anything. It was the right thing to do, yet something inside him didn’t let him. All he knew is that now someone might be suffering because of their inaction.

“We all do things we later regret because we need to survive. I like to think that we, as a community, are past that, but reality keeps insisting on proving me wrong.” Carl remembered the days on the road, before Alexandria, even his dad seemed like he had given up, like he’d accepted that their new reality was doing whatever was necessary to survive. But they pulled through, and came back. “In the end, it’s your choice. If you really wanna leave, I don’t blame you, and there’s nothing I can do.” He had failed. Jackson was supposed to show Lydia that there was another way, that her mom was wrong. He just hoped he hadn’t reinforced her previous beliefs.

“But if you feel regret about Clem, you can still do something. Make sure that you staying here was worth it. Don’t waste your opportunity. Don’t let other people take away a good thing from you.” Lydia was the proof that people could change, that the past didn’t matter, or so Carl thought. Looked like some things don’t die so easily. It might have sounded ugly, but he hoped Lydia felt regret, at least a little bit, it would prove that she wasn’t lost. He knew he regretted it all. If he ever crossed paths with Clem, he would compensate her for what happened in whatever way he could.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

None of this felt earned in the slightest.

Carl’s insistence that she could make up for what happened, his belief that the troubled girl still had the right to feel a sense of worth, _after_ everything she’d done. The boy genuinely believed those qualities in her, ones Lydia knew just didn’t exist, which only made her feel even more rotten. Even if she did feel some sort of guilt, the girl knew that she’d have no issues with doing the same thing again in a heartbeat if it meant her own survival.

Too scared to tell the others about Dwight’s murder, afraid to give out information that might’ve stopped someone from getting kicked out, and to top it all off… she was too frightened to do the one thing she could think of to make up for all of it.

_Leave._

She thought hard for a moment, eyes gently drifting down to the grass at her feet. “Fine,” she reluctantly hushed out, barely a whisper. “Let’s try your way.”

Even if she didn’t entirely agree with Jackson’s leadership, and the dung heap of Saviors that were piling in, she’d try to stick around… because maybe there were still _certain_ things she could do to make it right. Whether Carl agreed with those things or not, that would be a different story.

“For now.”

* * *

_2024_

**Art [James]**

Moving day.

To his perception, today is when the ground truly quaked. Their people marched through a once empty town, crossing streets left only for them and the dead. Sharing space.

James surveyed every whisperer behind the holes on his second skin. He watched, listened, followed. And he waited. Moving slower had the cold stabbing at his arms, and making it difficult to pretend to be dead.

As they came upon a crossroads, his feet ground to a halt. He brushed against the infected spread evenly amongst them, shoulder-to-shoulder. Finally, he found her.

James slowly approached Lydia from the side, wobbling arms and legs as though they were rotten like their peers. He expected her to notice him, and if she did, he would motion her to follow, eyes aimed at a building beside them.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Onwards they walked. Droves upon droves of them, all melded together in complete unison, heading for the same direction. Whenever a migration came, it was always a sight to see. Nestled right in the middle, was where Lydia felt her safest. No outsider could touch her here. The guardians numbered in the thousands, and would keep her safe. They always did.

It was hard for her _not_ to notice the figure beside her. The one who kept trying to get her attention. Might have been for the untrained eye. Lydia would glance over, only when she finally grew tired of pretending the boy wasn’t there.

Was he _trying_ to anger the guardians?

If she was caught with him again, it’d spell certain punishment. He knew that as well as she did. After narrowly escaping a beating last time, it frustrated her that he was still doing this.

She followed, nonetheless. Not planning on getting caught. And once they were in the clear, she would speak.

“You shouldn’t be coming near me. You need to stop.” This wasn’t just for his sake, but what he was doing... It risked disturbing the migration path.

**Art [James]**

James led the girl through an open doorway, delaying every one of his footsteps. He hadn’t time to check for spores, and decided to head in first, for her sake. His breathing, unsteady remained.

“Won’t make you stay,” he said, unperturbed on the surface.

Inside were only darkened blues, save for the sunlight coming from the windows. James looked around the rotten ceiling, the broken displays, the shredded pieces of paper…

He looked at the skeletons deeper into the building, where the smell of corroded metal came from. He saw words written on plastic surfaces, rats crawling through checkered floors, and finally, a row of seats separated by tables that reached up his waist.

He found comfort in that. In knowing his surroundings.

James pulled the mask off his face and set it limply on the table, before finding himself a spot on one of the seats. “Can take yours off, too,” he said. “It’s safe.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

“Feel safer with it on.” Did that come off more brash than she intended? Hard to know. Even harder to resist peering over her shoulder every half-minute. Even now, she felt anxious that one of Alpha’s spies would sneak up on them.

Lydia shifted her weight from foot to foot, before taking a seat on the ground once she grew tired of it, her back pressing up against a decaying slab of rendered concrete. The building looked ready to fall apart, a sign of how useless these structures were now. Remnants of a different era. One that was over.

What was going on with him? She pondered it, ever since they met. How he so openly stuck his neck out for her. Why now? When he knew there was an even bigger chance of getting his throat slit. Did he not understand that his life was in danger? She didn’t want to see him punished, like she had so many others.

“Are you… okay?” It was the least she could say, after her mother almost killed him. Thinking about it, only made her stomach churn.

**Art [James]**

“Fine,” he said, in his soft, convincing voice. James gazed at her from the plump seat next to the boarded windows, rubbing at his unkempt features.

“I’m leaving today.”

There was no other way to say it. Or another time to. Or anyone else willing to listen. “Won’t come back,” he continued, growing ever so restless. His brows fell, and the boy looked angry like he rarely ever did.

“Want you… to come, too.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

_Okay_ _… he’s not okay._

Something was wrong with his head.

Lydia shot him a glance, one that resembled a fine balance between appalled and confused. Words that desperately wanted to come out were lodged deep within her throat. Never to be heard, lest she found the courage to speak them.

“You should rest when we stop again. Eat. Clear your head.” She spoke, unsure if it sounded more like a threat… or a plea.

“Nothing out there for you… or me. Now please stop.” Lydia directed her eyes to the floor, hoping the silence was enough of a hint for him to toss those thoughts from his mind. Before it got him killed.

**Art [James]**

His hands found each other, palm grinding against palm. James hadn’t the words, whisper or otherwise. Nor the strength. “Can’t,” the boy told her. “Won’t.”

Teeth gritted, he parted his lips and continued to speak. As best he could. As best as he remembered how to. “What we do... What I’ve done...” His eyes fell as breath caught in his throat. And it did so viciously. “What they do to you,” he said.

“It’s sickening.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Lydia’s eyes would begin to narrow, visible behind the comfort of her own mask.

“ **It** **’s nature.** ”

She showed weakness, was scared. He saw. Now he was leaving, because she got him in trouble with Alpha. _Your fault. You need to convince him. You need him to stay._

“It just makes me stronger.”

**Art [James]**

James showed nothing. Let nothing out. Not one change of his expression, or a blink of his darkening eyes. His grasped fingers turned to fists along the table top, as he stared the girl down and fought to move his lips. James raised his voice and asked:

“Do you feel stronger?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

So odd... to hear what his voice truly sounded like, when it wasn’t shrouded by a layer of hush.

The air in the room suddenly became thicker to breathe, and Lydia couldn’t help but start to wonder if she was playing with fire. Not like that would stop her now.

“You know what I feel about it?” Dirty nails dug into her own skin, and the girl matched his volume, when every fibre in her being told her not to.

“Nothing.”

Just like the ones roaming around outside, that’s how it needed to be. _That_ _’s_ how they’d survive. She couldn’t afford to make anymore mistakes, not anymore. “And so should you.”

**Art [James]**

James couldn’t bear to listen any longer. Instinct guided him away from the seat, arm stretched violently at his side. And James’s voice left him like it hadn’t in years. “This? This isn’t living!”

Ache rising at the throat made him struggle for air. As the boy’s chest fell and rose, and his teeth chattered in anguish, he said what he had left to say in a solemn whisper. “I’ll kill her. If that’s what it takes.”

“I’ll kill Alpha.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

“Really?” Lydia asked, when she found the nerve to glare at the boy. Only daring to when he’d finished screaming at her, all while something unkindly started to boil inside her gut.

The girl found her footing, turquoise eyes studying him from head to toe, watching silently as he seethed. Even then, all she could offer in return was something rather emotionless. In that moment, the look on her face seemed even more dead than the ones roaming outside.

Lydia took a step forward, then another, and slowly continued until she was just inches away from the other Whisperer. The knocking against her chest was unbearable now, as was listening to anymore of what he had to say.

“I don’t think you will.” That was when she leaned upwards, making sure to stick her face right in front of his. “I think you’re too weak and afraid to do _anything_... other than run away from your people like a big coward.”

**Art [James]**

He’d lost it again, and his world spun in its leftover pieces. Lips dry, and eyes damp, he said, and only said: “I’m not a coward.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

One of Lydia’s hands found the taller Whisperer’s, lifting it upwards, before her other placed something cold and sharp in it. She forced his palm and fingers around the handle, making sure he had a firm grip of the blade.

“Then prove it. _Right here._ ”

**Art [James]**

James wrapped his gloved fingers around the knife, gaping at it from where he stood. He managed to look at the girl once before forcing his eyes shut. “How?”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

Muddied chunks of hair flopped over her eyes as the mask slid off, and Lydia peered down at its rotten facade, thumbs trailing over the texture.

“I remember you asked me, if I wanted you to.” Lydia said, calmly dropping her face next to the other one on the table.

Her tone was more firm than before, even when it felt like two invisible hands were crushing her windpipe. This time, Lydia knew, after what felt like an everlasting uncertainty.

“ _I do._ ”

His eyes refused to meet hers, but it didn’t matter, because the girl’s expressionless face had no tale worth telling. She didn’t even need him to look... only to listen.

“Make it go away.”

[[Music]](https://youtu.be/na4s138R2EI)

**Art [James]**

He nodded. To himself, and then to her. He held the knife so close to his chest, and He told James to be quiet. For once.

_Keep your whispers to yourself._

It was the first time someone had asked that of him. He knew cries. He knew begging. But James hadn’t known this. He knew to thrust the knife into her throat, to make it fast. And he wondered now, uselessly, if that would hurt her.

He felt the weight in his hand, weighing more and more, and he pushed it all away. He just had to do it. Every joint, every nerve in his arm trembled in pain, but he just had to do it. Once and then never again. His eyes turned moist with tears, bleak, and reddening in his growing sorrow. But James only had to take that girl’s life, and then it would end.

It dawned on Him, even before the knife had hit the floor, that James was exactly the coward she knew he was. And James was the only one left, sobbing as his will shattered into dust.

**Ledge [Lydia]**

The sweet embrace of a cold blade would soon close in on her. It was going to hurt, she imagined choking on her own blood would... but only for a few moments before the girl would finally drift away into a deep, deep sleep.

Then, she could rest, and rise again, as one of the dead. It was the only way she would ever be accepted. How beautiful would it be, when she rejoined her people? Cleansed of every nasty little detail that ran through her mind every night.

No more burden of memory. No more burden of weakness.

She was ready.

Lydia soaked in the smidge of sunlight that peaked through the window, closing her eyes. The girl waited for the killing blow, the one that would make it all stop.

Her eyes would only open again, to the sound of a knife hitting the floor.

“No.”

He was crying.

“NO!”

Lydia grabbed both of his shoulders, shaking him so that he might be forced to look at her, to snap out of it. “Y—You said you could do it. That’s what you said!” Only now, did it sink in that he never intended to follow through.

It all came out in a blubbering mess, broken words to go along with broken promises. “I can’t! Not by myself!” Her face was bright red, and tears hopelessly spilled down the girl’s cheeks. “You will not leave me like this!”

Why did everyone want to torture her? Why did everyone hate her?

She pulled him in closer by the shirt, screaming even louder so that it might register into his coward brain.

“YOU **WILL NOT** FUCKING LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!”

**Art [James]**

James grabbed the girl by the wrists and pushed her away, backing away in the slow pace his legs would allow. And he wouldn’t look at her. He could never look Lydia in the eye again.

“I’m leaving…” He tried to say, and James wanted so badly to be heard, he said it one more time. “I’m leaving.”

In his silent cries, it was all he had left. “Let me help.”

**Ledge [Lydia]**

She already tried to let him help, but he refused to.

The very moment he was gone, there would be no one else. **No one.**

At least before... it helped, knowing he was there to stop people from hurting her. Served her right for thinking it could last forever.

A pain shot through the girl’s chest, unlike anything she’d felt in a long time.

Lydia fell to her knees, having exhausted all of her options. “I’ll do anything...” She hunched over, sobbing into his boot, before wrapping both of her arms around his ankle, to stop him from walking out. She’d hold on for however long it took to convince him.

It didn’t matter how much she tried to pretend in front of him before… _this_ is what she would always be. “Please, don’t go.”

“ **Please stay.** ”

**Art [James]**

His instincts flared, burning like the tears the both of them shared. He’d lost his voice.

_I want to save you_ , James thought, bellows in his mind. _Why won_ _’t you listen? Why won’t you let me?!_

James lied to himself, for one more time, so that he could be exempt. To keep one less voice from whispering to him as he lay awake. James said it in his head, and repeated it again and again, until the words meant nothing and he’d long forgotten what they were.

_I don_ _’t want to kill. I don’t want to die. Please don’t make me._

As he condemned the girl to suffer that unspeakable horror, he only hung his head in shame, veiled not by the comfort of sparing a life. Not like he’d always imagined, when pale hands used to clutch at his leg. She would not be better off. She would never forgive him. He would never see her again. And she would die anyway.

The only one he spared was himself. And it’s why he never looked back as he forced himself to walk away.


	5. Grounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, new content! Sorry about the wait for these, in the midst of working on Book 3 scenes, we had little time to finish up the first scene for this chapter, but it's finally done. Novelization version is a bit delayed due to some beta reading first, but RP Edition is here and ready to go. Novelization version should be up tonight, no major issues pending hopefully.
> 
> Also, if you haven't read the chapter before this since it was released, two new scenes were added to it at the beginning and end. They're super cool, so check 'em out too! :)

_6:52 PM — May 17, 2026 (Five weeks before Negan)_

**Dot [Tommy]**

The guitar sung chords aplenty in the waning sunlight filtering through the lodge windows. Tommy’s feet were still perched atop the table, swaying with the beat of the song he’s playing. Only a few minutes had passed since Joel and Ellie left for the guitar center, and he watched Clementine return to her comic book as if the thing was glued to her face.

It was about time to broach his own plan.

“Reckon they’re gonna be awhile,” he said as he let his feet hit the floor, propping the guitar against the table. “I got a little somethin’ I need to get. Some feathers for Andrea’s hat. There’s a bird nest not too far up the trail. Bluebirds, I think. Might do nicely to liven that thing up.”

“Whatddya say?” He put on his signature smile, hoping it’d work its charm. “Up for a little stroll?”

If anything, getting that girl to open up for five minutes ‘stead of being absorbed into that comic book would do nicely. He hardly knew a thing about her.

**Art [Clementine]**

It’d been a long day, today, but she’d had worse. Sometimes runs took too long, or went by too fast — and sometimes both could feel like a slog. It surprised her, then, that when Joel’s brother first showed her that ski lodge, sundown came as if time itself had been swallowed up by a black hole. That’s precisely the sort of thing the Kobyashi crew would probably need to look into. Dr. Daniela Star, she was kind of the coolest. Shame about humanity being enslaved and all that, sometimes you just had to drink the kool-aid.

“Huh?” She muttered under her breath while flipping through another page. Whatever Tommy said had gone through one ear and out the other, but Clementine was sure it had to be busywork. He wouldn’t be smiling like that otherwise. The girl set _Savage Starlight: Book 5_ down behind her, trying not to grumble so loudly. “Whatever.”

Clem strapped a backpack around her loose grey tee and set off to get on Tommy’s good side.

“Did you say feathers?” Clementine asked only one foot out the door, brows cuddling over her eyes. She knew it was meant for Andrea, but it still sounded pretty stupid. “Who wants _feathers_?”

**Dot [Tommy]**

“What? Y’ain’t ever seen a western?” He sighed at his own question. “No, ‘course not. Oughta tell Lee to educate you and Ellie on ‘em. Really missin’ out.”

“Y’see, they used to put feathers in the band of their hats. Some looked kinda tacky, but if you get the right kind, with the right hat…” He clicked his tongue, spreading out his hands in front of them as they walked as if showing off the non-existent cowboy hat. “Nothin’ looks better.”

One glance towards Clementine gave him the answer to the unspoken question. His shoulders dropped by an inch as he tried to take it down a notch, shifting the rifle slung over his right shoulder. “Look, I know you’re not all that interested. I just appreciate you agreein’. I need something to get Andrea to talk to me, and I’m runnin’ out of ideas.”

“Who knows? Maybe we’ll find some more infected. Get you a chance at the rifle, too.” He patted the barrel of the gun lightly, hoping that’d be enough to pique her interest. “Ellie took out a few hordes with this bad boy earlier. I hear you’re gettin’ good with that one Lee got ya.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“No, thanks,” Clementine said, even though the thought did amuse her. “The less infected, the better.”

For now she kept her chin up, stepping around the leaves and branches. All these attempts to be ‘ _relatable_ ’ made her want to claw her own face off. But however many mentions of westerns were left, this was still better than what Ellie was being put through. She was sure of that. “Hey, so…”

Clem thought, since he was trying so hard, she may as well give Tommy a chance.

“Do you always go around looking for stuff? Is that supposed to make girls like you?”

**Dot [Tommy]**

“Mighta worked back in the day. Not so sure now,” Tommy admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

Last time he’d courted a woman was... _God_ , ages ago. Before the outbreak. That kinda thing usually wasn’t a priority when the rest of the world was trying to kill you. With Andrea, it was a bit different. Sure, she was pretty, and they’ve known each other for _years_ , but runnin’ a place like this took a lot of work. In another life, maybe.

“Maybe I’d oughta be askin’ you. New generation and all.” Tommy casted a glance towards the girl as the trail inclined into a dense forest. “And don’t tell me it’s ice cream, ‘cause that stuff’s a fortune these days.” He chuckled.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine had to roll her eyes, though she had the slightest hint of a smile. “Okay. No for ice cream.” When someone put you on the spot like that, it was no good to look ungirly.

She crossed one of her arms and did her best job at avoiding Tommy’s _dumbass_ smile. Clementine, from no shortage of sources, had immunity from exposure. “With a girl”, she said, “you should be more direct. None of the friendly stuff.”

Clem scrunched her nose, raising her voice. “And no westerns. Just a hunch.”

By then, the trees and foliage began opening up toward a field, letting in the rest of the sun and casting shadows under the brim of her hat. Clementine had at least one more thing to add while she hid her eyes from the light. “I mean, have you _tried_ giving her flowers?”

**Dot [Tommy]**

At Clementine’s question, he chuckled. “I’m trying to apologize to her, not woo her.” The field stretched onward, bending at the edges into hills and mountains that threatened to block out the Sun’s waning light. The bird nest he’d seen before was not too far ahead. Though…

He glanced back towards Clementine with a raised eyebrow, chewing his lip as if it’d help him come to a decision. “…Y’think that’d work?” The act of asking aloud had him feeling like an idiot, and only partially because of who he was directing it to.

**Art [Clementine]**

“I don’t know,” Clementine said coyly, flashing a smile. “ _Are_ you trying to woo her?”

**Dot [Tommy]**

Tommy let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Can’t tell you,” he said, returning the smile with one of his own. Two can play that game. “It’s classified.”

And, to his relief, the nest he’d seen before came into view, perched atop a branch low enough to reach. He sifted through it for a second and brought back a pair of blue feathers, placing them gently into a spare pocket of his backpack. Next, he picked a couple flowers from the ground and stuck them into an empty water holder on the side. Placing the straps back over his shoulders, he turned back towards Clementine.

“Never said I can’t do both.” Shifting the weight of the backpack, he ushered her back towards the lodge. “How about you tell me ‘bout that comic you’ve got your nose stuck in. One of Ellie’s, right?”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clem needed that fresher air, she decided. The outside, as awful as it tried to be, never failed at reminding her of home, when days used to last so much longer. She eyed a pair of daisies and plucked one out for herself, letting it sit still in the front pocket of her shirt.

Tommy, Clementine wasn’t as fussed to look at, even as he roped her into such dangerous small talk. “I don’t know,” she said. “It’s cool, I guess.”

**Dot [Tommy]**

“It’s... cool?” Tommy let out an incredulous breath, shaking his head. “C’mon, throw me a bone here.”

This would be a pretty awkward — and quiet — walk back if she didn’t.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine rubbed at her shoulder as if squeezing the words out. “It’s about space travel. And aliens, and stuff…” She sighed. “And Ellie reads it. Like, all the time.”

Feet grinding against the grass, Clem said to him, “I don’t know, I just wanted to… look at it?”

**Dot [Tommy]**

Like pulling teeth. God, he had no idea how Joel did it. Or Lee, for that matter. Being a goddamned teacher must’ve been Hell on Earth. “Don’t gotta explain anythin’ to me,” he said, hoping she didn’t think he was gonna judge her for her choice of comic book. “If you and Ellie like it, I’m sure it’s good.”

Science Fiction ain’t exactly his forte, but he knew enough to get around. Just don’t start talking about whatchamacallit manifolds or spacetime nonsense. Can only take so much of that before getting a headache.

Getting back to the familiar trail had each of Tommy’s steps feeling lighter and lighter, though he knew that would only be temporary. Confronting Andrea once they got back was gonna… well, suck. _Just remember to apologize, the rest oughta come naturally. Hopefully._

Now to fill the silence for the rest of the walk back.

“Alright, coolest character in the comic. Go.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“Daniela Star,” Clementine said without a second thought. “Obviously.”

It was _not_ the easiest thing to try and explain _real fiction_ to a senior type like Tommy. Clem knew the tapes from his time were gray and gross-looking, so it stood to reason that the comic books at the time were probably like that too, right?

Either way, she was convinced he’d never read anything _not_ printed on a newspaper.

Her mouth went off as the girl best saw fit.

“She’s this really smart scientist, flying around from system to system,” Clementine tried to explain. “She figured out how to travel through lightspeed all on her own. And that’s _before_ she led the human resistance against the Travellers.” Clementine wasn’t sure he was following — or interested — wounding up with a face much pinker than the one she’d started with. “I mean, that’s just… she’s just so awesome.”

She had to add more, though, in case he still didn’t get it, or planned to laugh behind her back. She wanted to remind him that it was actually a graphic novel for adults, not just any space opera aimed at children. Clementine couldn’t help sounding nervous. “And she’s great at fighting, too! You should’ve seen what she does on issue number six, it’s totally nasty.”

The red on her face boiled into a stronger, warmer hue, before she frowned at the fields. “If I could do stuff like that, I bet Lydia would start thinking twice.”

**Dot [Tommy]**

It was nice to hear her so passionate about something. Half the time, he thought the world out here had taken all that childhood wonder away from her, but maybe he’d been wrong. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

And, at the mention of Lydia, Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle. “Lydia already thinks twice. Why d’ya think she always comes to me when you two have a spat?”

“You listen to her, you’d think you were some stone-cold killer locked up in Alcatraz.” He scratched at his beard, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re a badass. Have to be to survive as long as y’all did. But I reckon she’s just jealous of ya. She ain’t had it nice since we took her in.”

People could be real shitbags when they wanted to be. Tommy had had his doubts about her too, back when they first dealt with the Whisperers and took her in. But she’d proven her worth... it’d just taken her a while to do it.

“Don’t let her get into your head, okay?”

**Art [Clementine]**

“How can I not?” Clementine protested, a tiny bit aghast, waving her hands around as if just being loud didn’t cut it. “There’s _nothing_ about _me_ to be jealous about!”

She didn’t know how to explain it to him — what exactly was it like when _everyone_ in town knew each other and you were the odd one out. How to explain to him what a school day felt like when your hair and clothes looked different from everyone else’s, and you weren’t caught up on gossip or stupid movie tapes. Tommy didn’t know how hard it was to talk to other students after creeps made up rumors about you, just because you wear a hat and have a stump for a finger.

“I mean—” She sighed, choosing her words carefully. “What’s so good about being a ‘badass’ if I can’t make any friends?” Just saying it out loud made her skin crawl. She’d never caught anyone in class laughing behind her back, but Clem was sure some of them did. Especially after it got out that she was scared of Buckley.

“Out there I’m just… freaky little Clementine, who can’t remember her own last name.”

**Dot [Tommy]**

Tommy wasn’t gonna pretend he knew what he was doing. Carl, while being in his care like a son, had long adapted to life in Jackson. And life as a teenager. Clementine, though, had always struggled with that, even the first time they were here. So, with a sigh, he started slowly, “A part of life is… realizin’ not everyone’s gonna like you. And… you gotta accept that.”

“But, it’s the ones that do. The ones that have your back when you need it most.” He’d met only a few people like that. Fewer that were still left alive. His eyes flicked over to Clementine next to him. “Those people are what make any life worth living.”

Now, here was the part she probably wouldn’t like. “Teenagers…” he began, “especially your age, are cruel. They’re insecure ‘cause they think you’re better than them. Better suited for this world.”

He stopped by a tree near the trail they’d first taken down to get to the lodge, propping a hand against it. “And, seems to me, that you got all the friends you could ever need. Carl likes you, even if Lydia gets in the way of that sometimes. Joel. Lee. Ellie, ‘specially.”

“And Jenny liked you.” He smiled wistfully, though it faded just as quick. Thinkin’ about those days, before the herd accident, always felt like a knife to the gut. “Always found her to be an excellent judge of character. Even she realized that half them kids are just a buncha posers.”

“Eventually, when the rest of these little fuckers grow up, they’ll realize just how great you are. Then, you get to be smug about it to their faces. How’s that sound?”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine beamed, despite wanting to fight it so bad. She had an inkling not to listen to optimism of any kind, really. But she was built of glass like everybody else. “Sounds awesome,” Clem told him confidently. And Tommy wasn’t all wrong either. Some things — only some — were the likes she wouldn’t trade for anything.

 _Listen to yourself_ , she thought, even though her heartbeat had it in it to drown it all out. “But, like... until then, I’m okay with the friends I got. Change can be kinda scary. “ She checked up on the flower in her breast pocket, taking it in. “Well, sometimes.”

Clem faced him with the same smile, almost embarrassed to say what she was about to. “Personally? I hope Andrea takes you up on that. You’re definitely the cooler brother.”

**Dot [Tommy]**

The signature grin was back. “I know,” he said, totally not at all sounding smug about it either. “And, I hope so, too.”

There was certainly a lot on their plates right now, but at least this… times like these… made it all worth it.

He just had to hope for the best. Everything’ll work themselves out eventually.

* * *

_7:05 PM - August 20, 2026_

**Basil [Negan]**

The Saviors had spent most of their time taking from Jackson, so it was about time Negan fulfilled some of his ‘duties’ as their leader. Mainly joyriding around Jackson driving over any infected that crossed him. Negan was alone in this; he wanted a little time to think to himself. However, it was getting dark, and he’d felt he had been down the same road four times.

Nerves were starting to settle into him. To his relief, a ranch came into view. Worst case scenario he could just set up there for the night. The back of his car had loads of food from Jackson so he wasn’t worried about supplies.

The last few weeks had been fascinating to see: several Savior members had been moving to Jackson. The dam certainly was attractive for people hoping to settle permanently. Using a dam for electricity was genius, impressive they managed to keep it up so long.He didn’t know how these people were being treated, though he had received assurances from the new leader, Tripp, that things were going ‘all okay’. It was for the best, with Jackson being so new, since it was their best supplier of food.

Parking up near the derelict building, he clutched Lucille close to his person. The building was remote, however he couldn’t count on anything being in that ranch. He got out of the car, breathing in the fresh air with a sigh.

 _This wasn_ _’t what I had planned._

He strolled up to the door casually, keen to find out what might be in there. He came to an abrupt stop by the door, dusting his shoulders of any fleck, he knocked on the door. Holding Lucille with two hands behind his back, hiding it if anyone was to open the door. He’d give it ten seconds, then he’d be breaking in.

**Art [Clementine]**

She’d lost track of time. But hadn’t everyone else lost track of her, too?

Another thing Clem couldn’t recall — if not, preferred to forget — were how many hours she’d spent searching for chestnuts that morning. Not like they were a rare find, right? So how come they were so freaking well hidden? Her recipe was a bust without _those_. Speaking of recipes; straying from that bland stew was one disaster after another. How anyone was meant to make dinner without — without stuff to _cook_ eluded her. She knew being a picky eater would catch up to her eventually... Today was it.

But, the chestnuts couldn’t hide forever. Her list was long that day: mushrooms, garlic chives and shallots. Clementine had mapped out the perfect evening, if only she could avoid setting her only pot on fire again.

For one, it was good to be home early, dirty clothes set aside for the few hours she could afford to. Clem had a yellow jersey on and a soft pair of lounge pants. She _couldn_ _’t believe_ how many clothes from the room upstairs actually fit her.

Just as the smell of _real_ food started making her nose tingle, the front door shook behind her. It was such a bad sound, Clementine couldn’t tell what she’d rather have it be... Who she’d rather have knocking on her door. The girl rushed toward the spear lying against the armchair by the living room, untying the blade strapped to the edge. She took it with her — a knife behind her back — and Clementine warily opened the door.

At least it wasn’t Ellie, but since when had that started being good news? She thought that schmuck had come to laugh in her face, best case scenario. The arm in the back of her hip twitched, but didn’t move. If only she could blink, or shut that jaw of hers that hung so close to the floor. Clem would’ve asked how he found her, were the words not trapped _who knows_ where. If he’d shown up to finish the job, Clementine swore she’d stab him between the legs before they took her out.

**Basil [Negan]**

There was a slight sigh under Negan’s breath as he saw who opened the door, intentionally loud enough to be heard. He hoped it would’ve been empty, but not only was it inhabited, it was by the girl who he assumed… hated his guts. Even so, he relaxed slightly, at least he wasn’t getting killed right off the bat. He did, however, notice that the girl in front of him was also hiding something. He let Lucille be seen, not wanting to get into any confrontation.

He opened himself up amicably. “Trick or Treat.” Negan joked. “I see you got something hidden, and I just got a feeling it ain’t gonna be some fucking candy corn.” Negan warned, he didn’t want to have to fight the girl, he didn’t really have it in him.

He took a step back, away from the door. Trying to further show his lack of any aggressive intent. “I don’t mean to be trespassing on your territory, miss, just so happens I’m a little lost out here. Don’t suppose you could help? I got some food in my car.” He indicated to his vehicle behind him.

He was hoping that the girls situation would be in a state where she couldn’t refuse. He didn’t really imagine a girl like her could live well alone like this.

**Art [Clementine]**

Something in that guy’s voice reeked of shady. Had they followed her, from all the way deep in the woods? The hunch had her four fingers twitching all the more. “Why don’t you ask your friends? I know they’re out there,” she managed to say, hiding her fear behind sullen eyes.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan chuckled, not expecting that answer. “Trust me, I’m here all alone.” He placed a hand on his chest. “Scout’s honor.” Smiling down at the girl, he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “What about you, you got any friends in this house?” It’d been a long time since he took over Jackson, he was genuinely curious as to how she was living like this. Maybe she had help from others, it must’ve not been a good life nonetheless.

**Art [Clementine]**

She didn’t like the sound of it at all. Tempting as it was to gut the guy, Clem wouldn’t let herself trust a word of his. All the dark outside made one shrub indistinct from the rest, but there had to be more. She’d stake her life on it.

Clementine gave Negan a look over before shutting the door on his face, and leaving without another peep. The girl ran back to the armchair, breathing louder by the minute. If it was up to her, she’d stay right there. When the door opened again, Clem had a rope in her hand: old and as used as that old knife of hers which stayed where it was, hidden behind her back. “Turn around,” she demanded.

**Basil [Negan]**

The door in front of him shut, so hard it seemed like it would’ve broken. Negan’s face fell, it looked like it wasn’t going to be as simple as he’d hoped.

He approached the door and heard the demand, being asked to turn around. “I would love to, but it’s dark as shit, could be wolves, bears, and fucking tigers out there for all I know.” Negan responded to the girl’s demand. “And I just can’t have it on my conscience leaving you out here alone like this. People don’t last long alone.” He said genuinely, trying to gain some trust. This gave way to a pause, thinking of what to say next. “Did they kick you out?” He asked, waiting and hopeful for a response that wasn’t akin to what he’d known her to do.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clem had both brows arched and facing the ground. And as he opened his mouth again instead of listening, the girl knew then that she was done talking, too. Negan had the time to say his piece, and Clementine tugged his arm the moment after, tying the rope around it. “I don’t give a shit about your sympathy.”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan looked down at the girl, sighing. “How do I know you won’t just kill me and steal my car?” He didn’t show any fear at the situation. “ _If_ I wanted to kill you, trust me, you’d be dead, and I doubt you got any shit in there that I want, either.” Negan tried reasoning, he was aware how dangerous the girl was. She certainly wouldn’t joke around.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Shut up.” She wrapped the end of the rope around his wrist, and then the other, twisting as hard as her strength would allow. “I don’t care what you think, either...” Clementine tucked both ends of the rope around the circle between his hands and pulled on it twice to make sure it was tight. And she hoped it hurt. “...So quit moving.”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan winced slightly as she pulled it as tight as she could. He didn’t want to resist; if he was going to gain some trust, he guessed this was how he’d do it. Although, he felt it might’ve been a miscalculation.

“Jeez last time I was tied up this tight I wa-... nevermind.” He couldn’t help but continue to talk. “Do you have to be so serious about this? I’m just trying to talk.”

He fought the urge to laugh as she shouted at him, but he managed to barely cover it up with a straight face. Once the knot was finally done, she ordered him forward, along with pointing a very sharp object into his back. He obliged, strolling forward. He looked around the ranch, it certainly wasn’t the cleanest place he’d been to.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine smashed the front door shut with the back of her foot. From the living room, she dragged a wooden drawer to push in front of it - blocking the door for good measure. No one else was coming in without her knowing.

“Okay.”

Where to next? The kitchen was wide open, with two exits on each side: one leading to the porch, and another to a laundry room that’d lost its purpose. She made him go there. “Sit down and don’t move,” was her next order. “Or I’ll cut you.” Clem didn’t much count on sounding threatening while wearing socks covered in polka dots, but she felt too anxious to care. The laundry had a creaky wooden chair leaned against a washing machine, though Negan could very well sit on the floor for all she cared.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan looked back at the girl’s preparations. She’d full on tried to block the door in case anyone came in. “I’m telling ya, I’m alone out here.” Negan reaffirmed one more time. He was still calm, following the girl around until he was made to go to the laundry room.

Negan took his time walking into the laundry room. “Stylish décor, fabulous furniture. Yeah I’d give this place five stars for a room to be forced in.” Negan joked. Walking towards the chair, very casually taking a seat. “Does this place come with breakfast?” Negan joked once again, as he sat on the chair, not entirely sure of what the girl was planning on.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine peeked through every window, eyehole and tatter in the walls. She expected something by now. It was just the howling outside to greet her.

She strolled up to the laundry room with her knife in full view. She was fidgety, sweating cold. Dinner, a forgotten memory. “You and I are gonna wait. Right here,” she said, pointing at Negan as if about to jam a finger into his eye.

“If no one shows up, I’ll kill you.”

**Basil [Negan]**

It was slightly ominous. A girl approaching him with a knife while he was near defenceless sitting down. It wasn’t exactly how he thought he’d be spending the night. Negan, while sitting down, was nearly on level with the girl standing up, but that didn’t change much as she issued her warning. If she meant it, it spelled certain death for him. While he tried to not give anything away about being scared, his eyes did light up, only for a moment. He was going to have to try and talk this one out.

“I… Jeez, kid, are you fucking kidding me? I come here with an offer of food and fucking anything else and you threaten me?” Negan shook his head, the situation was almost laughable to him. He couldn’t die here, he’d just got Jackson, and AJ was still young. He stared straight at the girl, his eyebrows slanted downwards.

“Are you going to make some demand? Because at this point I’m all fucking ears. Just fucking think about what you’re doing. The consequences.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“I don’t need your food,” she lied. “And don’t call me _kid_.”

She only waited a second before heading back to the kitchen, dragging a wooden chair across the cabin so she could sit in front of him. To watch. Negan made her blood boil. He laughed, smiled, joked, and wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Tommy and Carl’s dad... all those bandits from Pittsburgh who kept chasing them around — it was all this asshole’s fault. Her gut shouted at the sight of his twisted, ugly face, and Clem could only nod along with it. Only one cure for monsters as scary as him.

Until daylight came, she’d scare him back. Maybe he wouldn’t laugh so much _then_.

“You wouldn’t even last the night, if Joel were here.” She leaned an arm over her knee, dangling the knife between her fingers. Clementine put on her ghost story voice and feigned being more depraved than she was. “Tommy’s brother? I bet he’d rip out your spleen and feed it to the wolves.

“Maybe I should go get him. Have him beat you up until you’re sorry.” The girl kept watching, not a blink or a twitch to follow.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan raised one eyebrow at the girl when she denied the food. He could tell she’d gotten skinnier since the last time they met, and that had to have been because of the worsening conditions. Either way, he could sense the disdain she had for him. Whether he believed it or not, Clementine must’ve blamed him for everything that happened. Killing Tommy. She brought up his brother, a guy Negan hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting face-to-face yet. From the description it sounded like they wouldn’t get along.

She even threatened to go find him. Although the threats of death certainly weren’t there like before.

Negan shrugged, blissfully uncaring. “Look, I ain’t gonna antagonize you while you got a knife pointing at me. That’s just bad manners. What you gotta know is I don’t give a flying fuck about this Joel guy. Right now I’m talking to this badass girl in front of me, who’s got the balls to threaten **me**.” Negan focused in, leaning forwards slightly. His eyes didn’t waver. “You got fight. Look, I know my group fucked your life up, seems that way at least. Do you think I wanted that to happen?” Negan fell silent for a moment, thinking. “You can join the Saviors if you want, you’d have free food, shelter all that good shit for life. I feel like I owe ya. Beats living in this shithole, eating god knows what.”

**Art [Clementine]**

” _No._ ” She sounded so sharp, so poised, her words may as well have been cutting through the man. Clementine thought leaving it there would get that through to him, if anything did.

Clem kept her gaze in equal parts strong and still. He let her have him, she knew. Worse — he looked happy to be there, talking to her on his rickety chair. Clem was getting nervous again. Impatient. “Why’re you here? Really.” Her voice settled back to calm, though it was all pretend. Even if he did tell her the truth, she’d feel at a loss to believe a word. Clementine just wanted to stay in control... boss him around, keep him chatty, until she felt safe enough to kill him.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan shrugged as the girl refused. As far as he knew, it was her loss. If she wanted to work hard day and night just to stay alive, that was on her.

“Why am I here? Heh, wouldn’t you like to know.” Negan was tapping his foot lightly against the floor, a slight sign of nervousness, uncommon to him but the girl didn’t seem to be taking anything.

“I was helping Jackson out, killing those infected fucks that surrounded your home.” Negan spoke quietly. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Thought I might stay here for the night. Didn’t know it was occupied.” Negan leaned in; he knew she probably had plans to kill him. “If I ain’t back there by tomorrow, they’re gonna assume it was Jackson’s fault. Safe to say, a lot of innocent people are going to get fucking murdered.” While her words may have been sharp, Negan stared at her with sharper, bold eyes. “Why are you here? It’s been ages, figured you would have fucked off somewhere else by now.”

**Art [Clementine]**

He didn’t scare her with that talk, Clem decided. What did she care about Jackson? They all seemed to hate her anyway. Even her friends.

“ _So don_ _’t tell me Clementine doesn’t deserve getting kicked out... because it should’ve been_ ** _her_** _!_ ”

Clementine nodded to the ghost in her mind, losing Negan’s stare. It wasn’t all true. There _were_ people there, people she cared about. Saviors knew which. The girl’s four fingers tightened around the knife while the most important part of her: her eyes, they betrayed how hesitant she really was to say anything. If Negan meant what he said... “I plan to,” she answered, ignoring everything else he did say. Ignoring until she couldn’t. “They kicked me out... because of—” _You_ , she wanted to say. Clementine grinded her teeth, scraping until they let out sparks. “No one there cares about me.”

“I don’t care about anyone there.” Between all the lies she’d told that night, there was only one that made Clementine feel so queasy.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan raised an eyebrow as the girl in front of him seemed nervous. It seemed he did hit a soft spot, which made sense. Of course she had to have someone inside of Jackson that she cared about. Clementine clearly didn’t believe this from the sounds of her words. Negan looked down slightly, not wanting to make the girl too uneasy as she explained why she was kicked out, and then going on to explain that she had every intention of leaving. Negan shook his head slightly.

“You don’t gotta bullshit to yourself you know. Them kicking you out was a big loss on their part. You got shittons of potential, I can see it. You got the… well, the balls to think about killing me right fucking now... I can tell and I fucking respect it. That’s bolder than anything Tripp has thought about doing, I can fucking guarantee it.” Negan laughed lightly, feeling like he was giving some therapy.

He was a calculated man. Tripp was a good leader for him, he’d never go against him. The less destabilizing forces there the better, like this girl. However, he did feel sorry for her. While she didn’t make it any better for herself, it was the Saviors that caused her life to go to shit. “All I gotta do is say the word and you can be back there. I’m sure there are some people that care about you.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“We’re done. I’m so fucking sick of you...”

So, there they stood. Clem heard a clock tick in her head, going off louder and louder ‘till it hurt. Negan was laughing again. Pitying her. Neither she liked. She liked him least of all. “No one else is coming. You said it yourself,” the girl told the one and only, looking off to where he couldn’t see. She was done waiting.

Clementine rose to her feet, sending her chair flying back with a kick. The quicker she did it, the easier it would be. All it took was picturing a walker, evil and disgusting, hands tied until its wrists bled. With him, it just wasn’t that hard to. Clem tinkered with her knife while deciding where to stick it.

**Basil [Negan]**

Well, looked like he misjudged the situation entirely… to say the least. Clementine seemed to have been serious. Standing up in front of him as she twirled that sharp knife. He thought about the situation; this wasn’t where he’d die. The size and strength difference between the two was still there. He was confident he could still win even with his hands tied. Physical force wasn’t what he wanted this to resort to. No, fighting a girl for his life wasn’t what he wanted at all.

Negan sat on his chair still, he was ready to stand at a moment’s notice. If it came down to it. His eyes furrowed slightly as he stared at the girl. “Well, I can see my presence is unwelcome. We don’t have to fight about this, though. Just fucking… let me go. I’ll find somewhere else. You won’t get anything from killing me, it’ll just hurt others.” His confidence was unwavering. He wasn’t going to let himself die like this.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Just you,” answered Clementine, who didn’t seem to listen too well. She clutched at the knife and raised it over her shoulder, to bury it in Negan’s chest.

**Basil [Negan]**

And again the lil’ psychopath in front of him seemed to have no problems killing him despite everything that was just said. He wasn’t going to let her get the first strike. While she was raising the knife, he quickly raised his leg, kicking forward as his boot connected with her stomach. He figured he’d have enough time to stand up from this, and get into a better position. As he did, he realized just how small she was compared to him. Not only that, it looked like she hadn’t had a great diet for the last few months either. She looked a little scrawny compared to last time they met. Surely, she realized he had the advantage?

“You don’t fucking learn, do you?! You didn’t fucking back down at the forest, and you got your nose broken. You didn’t fucking back down at the gate, and Tommy got his head blown off... and now this. Are you ever gonna fucking learn?” He shouted at Clementine, his temper broken.

**Art [Clementine]**

She felt her back hit the floor, breath leaving her body. Everything that once moved had gone limp. Clementine’s knife spun away, out of her grasp, landing behind Negan’s chair where she’d never reach. _Get up. Get up. Get up._

Her legs didn’t listen, neither did the rest of her, frozen — fighting back barks of coughing.

Clem got to her knees quickly enough. But all she could do was try to crawl back to the living room, to get the rifle hidden under the fireplace.

**Basil [Negan]**

Maybe he went a bit too far with her, she was still a little girl and he’d just booted her so far she’d fallen over and dropped the knife. Pity was for after, though, for now he just made sure the knife was out of her reach.

He approached her. Standing to the side of her as she tried crawling. He lightly pressed his foot onto her lower leg. Enough pressure to prevent her from moving forward.

His anger from before had subsided, for now he was focusing on calming the tense atmosphere.

“How am I going to be able to leave without you stabbing me in the back as I go? I could just kill you… right here. Or I could just knock you unconscious, or you can woman up and just let me go?” Negan whispered out. His grin loving the sudden switch in power.

“Heh, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t knock you unconscious.” Negan chuckled lightly. He was clearly joking about it all, he wanted to bring no more harm to the girl.

**Art [Clementine]**

She stopped. Her hands clawed at the floorboards, but it was no good. _No_ _… No!_

Again her cheek grazed the ground, with Negan’s boot to keep it there, leaving dirt marks on her loungewear. He’d been playing captive the whole time… and she’d fallen right for it.

Clementine let him talk. For once, she let Negan run his stupid mouth, waiting for a second chance to cut his throat open.

**Shadow Dot [Narrator]**

In the distance, a cacophony of noise slowly filled the air. Screams, grunts, and not of the intelligent kind. A group of five runners found their way onto the ranch’s premises, having been roused from their normal activities and into a frenzy. Though what had upset them was nowhere to be seen, the runners approached the building rapidly, stopping once they realized they couldn’t just go _through_ the building. One tried, banging against the door with a piercing shout.

There was no evidence that they knew this place was occupied, but soon, the others joined in trying to break down the door.

**Basil [Negan]**

“Well, we gotta sort something out ‘cau-” Negan was interrupted by the sound of the door banging. He kept his foot down on the girl however, still remaining calm.

“Alright, well, fuck… change of plans.” Negan spoke out, his voice suddenly becoming more authoritative. He kept silent for a moment, thinking slowly of how to get out of this situation. It suddenly got much harder. The banging on the door only increased.

“Seems like there are a few of them… Can we put a pin in this little fucking thing and come back to it later?”

**Art [Clementine]**

Even hearing it, over and over again, didn’t help make the girl believe; growls, slams, screeches. The door wouldn’t hold. That’s the one thing Clem knew, and the one fact that wouldn’t leave her head, even as she fought to break free. “Just let me go!”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan sighed heavily, as he took a very relaxed attitude towards this. “Fine, but if you kill me, I swear to god I’ll get mad.” He grinned, before letting her go. Walking back to the knife, he stepped on it, and slid it over to her. “I ain’t gonna be much use because _someone_ tied me up, and don’t think I’m letting you get close with that knife.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“ _Like I got time for that_ ,” Clementine mumbled, dragging herself to her feet. “You cut _yourself_ loose.”

She ran for her rifle without a second thought. And its two freaking useless bullets. It struck her then that she’d be better off keeping that part to herself. Clem stuck one of the rounds in and barked her last words. “… Or sit down and let them get you. I don’t care!”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan shrugged as she seemed to reject the knife, and while the girl was rushing about, Negan strolled towards the blade. Picking it up with some effort, he slowly started to cut away at the rope. “I owe you a new rope, this one’s fucked.” He laughed out, as he finally got his wrists freed. Walking into the room, he noticed the girl had a gun. He quickly backed away, hiding behind a wall. “Didn’t tell me you had a fucking gun.”

He thought about it for a bit. If that gun was working, why’d she use a knife on him? He’d... keep that to himself for now.

**Shadow Dot [Narrator]**

The feral banging ensued, getting worse, as loud cracks filled the air. Eventually, the door gave way, and the first runner rushed inside. Locking its eyes onto its first prey, a tiny human, it screeched, rushing towards her.

The rest were quick to follow, another heading towards the larger human inside with arms outstretched, teeth bared.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine didn’t wait a moment longer than she had to. When the front door fell to the ground, the girl took only a single step back before squeezing the trigger and firing a shot.

**Shadow Dot [Narrator]**

The bullet went through the runner’s shoulder, causing it to lurch backwards, its grubby hands missing Clementine’s rifle by an inch. Screaming louder, it tried to attack her once more, ignoring the bullet now inside of it.

**Art [Clementine]**

The time she had to process missing a shot was so brief, Clem didn’t get to do so little as breathe. A rotted arm lunged at her rifle, and no matter how hard she pulled, the runner would only respond by doing the same. Slowly inching closer.

Panicked, the girl let go of her weapon, watching it wiggle to the floor right in front of her bare feet, and the infected with it. She knew where to retreat to, ankles grazing the staircase, but overreacting only made her sloppier — easy to grab. Before long her back, too, met the stairs, as the runner pulled her by the ankle.

**Shadow Dot [Narrator]**

The girl’s struggling brought the runner to the ground, clawing at her leg incessantly. It crawled forward, attempting to bridge the distance between itself and her leg. Without intervention, it may tear into her calf without mercy.

**Basil [Negan]**

The runners came in quickly; one was dashing straight for him. He couldn’t just leave her to deal with them like that, though, it’d be blood on his hands and he’d already done enough damage to her, so he did owe her a favor. Stepping back out into the open, he saw Lucille perched against the wall just outside of the room he was just in. That must have been where she left it. He quickly picked it up, ready to fight.

The first runner came straight for him, and he swinged Lucille in time. Of course, it was only a one-handed swing. It knocked them down, but wasn’t enough to do the job.

He heard a scuffle near him, looking over. Clementine was on the ground, a runner about to do some serious damage to her. “Fuck.” He whispered out, looking at the runner he’d just bashed. He had a few seconds maybe. It had to be enough time.

He turned, and ran to the girl. The runner was crawling forward, getting closer and closer to her. As this happened, Negan got closer, close enough that he raised his boot. It came down hard on the runner’s head, crushing it into the ground, and killing it instantly.

Tucking the knife away quickly, he grabbed the girls shoulder and heaved her up. He took the knife back out and placed it against her. She needed a weapon. He couldn’t fight them himself. He looked up the staircase, then back at the runners. They had to decide: fight there, or run and maybe get into a room where they could shut the door on them. They had to decide _very quickly_.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Upstairs!” shouted Clementine, who hadn’t yet done a good job of standing upright. The crimson half of her jersey dripped over the steps as she rushed to the corridor on the second floor, knife firm in her good hand. The only place left to hold out would be in her room.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan ran after her as she bolted up the stairs, going up two steps a time as he quickly reached the second floor. It seemed the infected were hot on their tails, but he didn’t want to peek back. He followed the girl, who clearly would know more about the layout of the ranch. He made sure to stick close, aware she could just shut the door on him.

**Shadowman [Narrator]**

The remainder of the infected had grown increasingly agitated, previously disorientated by the layout of the house. Given the amount of noise Clementine and Negan were making, the rest of the pack were quickly drawn to it. The runners sprinted after them, trailing closely behind the duo, tripping over themselves to get up the tight stairwell. One after the other, they spewed into the upstairs corridor on a relentless pursuit, their speed giving the survivors little time to think.

**Art [Clementine]**

The girl heard more than she saw. Unlike walkers, those things downstairs were ones she’d never outrun.

Down the path that led to her room, past bathroom doors and attic spaces, lay a wide wooden cabinet the folk who lived there seemed desperate to throw away. Clem only saw a plan forming in front of her. “Here,” she said. “We make a stand here.” Clementine pushed the furniture clockwise, making a waist-high — to her — barricade between them and the four runners. If _that_ failed, the door was right behind. She prayed it wouldn’t.

When the first of the infected charged at them, it toppled like a domino piece straight over the cabinet. She only had to reach forward and stab the runner through the head. _Three left._

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan quickly got behind the makeshift barricade. “Good idea.” He spoke out in the heat of it, noticing her tactic: letting them come over and topple over the barricade. Made for an easy kill.

The next one came for them, and did the exact same thing. This time, Negan raised his bat, slamming it down onto the head of the infected, and seemingly earning him a kill. “Didn’t know you were a… fucking genius.” He laughed off, this would be a piece of cake. _Just two left, after all._

**Art [Clementine]**

“Shut up and focus!” Another dashed toward them, banging its head against the cabinet and digging nails on wood to crawl over. Clementine gripped the knife with both hands and raised it over her head. The blade landed on the runner’s back, until Clem pulled it out to stab it again. It only let out a weak groan before falling dead on its side.

**Shadowman [Narrator]**

The barricade had been holding, each runner falling dead to their strategy. It was working, until the last runner bounded over another infected’s body which was laying against the debris, using it to scramble over the furniture at a pace the duo couldn’t keep up with. At full force, it leaped off the cabinet, crashing down on the biggest meal it could see. Tackling Negan to the ground, it balled up its fists and pounded away at Negan like an uncontrolled ape.

**Basil [Negan]**

Well, he spoke way too fucking soon. Typical. Just as he thought this was going too great, one of the runners saw fit to fucking jump at him. Negan was not at all prepared for it, and as a result, he fell to the ground. The absolute unit falling with a thud as the infected toppled onto him. He raised Lucille up slightly with both hands, which worked to block some of the impacts of the fists that were hailing down on him.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clem only spared him a glance. Vindictiveness, or just pity… her eyes said it all. They said she didn’t care.

Clementine strolled past Negan and the runner on top of him, to get the rifle downstairs.

**Shadowman [Narrator]**

The runner had its target right where it wanted him. In rapid blows, the infected continued to tenderize its meal with its fist, pounding away at the body in an attempt to weaken Negan.

The man rose the barbed baseball bat in defence, as to which the runner continuously pounded against. With one final thrust, both of the runner’s fists collided right into the middle of the bat. Lucille, after years of service to Negan, completely snapped in half. Straight away, it barrelled through the burly man’s last defence, one more fist collided with his face, busting his nose and catching his right eye too. The rotten teeth of the runner found their way towards the left sleeve of Negan’s thick leather jacket. Still screeching, it bit down near the wrist area, tugging on the sleeve with its teeth. At this point in time it was unconfirmed the bite had found any skin yet.

**Basil [Negan]**

It happened so quickly, he’d held up Lucille as a reflex for a defense. It worked pretty well, absorbing many of the hits from the runner atop of him. Enough for him to catch a glimpse of Clementine strolling past.

That bitch.

Well, the anger he had at seeing that, it was nothing compared to what happened as the runner came down with another punch. Lucille… shattered under it, a piece going in each hand as his defense was broken. The adrenaline was so much that he didn’t much feel what happened to his nose other than the feeling of recoiling back, and once he came to his senses again, he saw the runner trying to take a bite of his wrist.

Negan’s eyes were red, not only with the blood that was coming from his nose, but he was so filled with anger. Lucille, the bat that he’d treasured for so long, broke to a fucking runner. It was so preventable, Clementine could have just... His eyes were bloodshot.

Dropping the pieces aside, his hands fell to the runner’s body, and he heaved forward. With his strength, it came off of him. Negan quickly crawled over the runner, reversing the role. Blood was dripping from his face onto the runner. He started bashing the infected’s face, one punch after another as he slammed into it

“ **YOU** **… FUCKING… FUCKING… CUNT! YOU FUCKING CUNT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? YOU FUCKING BROKE HER! SHE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME AND YOU FUCKING BROKE HER!** ” He screamed out at the top of his lungs as the runner’s face slowly turned to mush. He didn’t stop though, he refused too. “ **YOU FUCKING BROKE LUCILLE! FOR WHAT?** ” He just kept going, punching and punching. His face was stained red, with tears running down his cheeks. He was prepared to completely break his knuckles if it meant more punches at the runner, so that’s what he did.

He’d deal with Clementine later.

**Art [Clementine]**

Her rifle was exactly where she’d left it, stuck under a bleeding corpse. She might’ve just left it there any other night.

The screaming was enough to persuade her.

One heavy push and it was right in her grasp, intact and sturdy as ever. Only... _Where the fuck_ _’s the other bullet?_ So she wondered. Clem had the hunch straight away, that it might’ve rolled somewhere when the runner caught her. But now when she needed it, her last round was nowhere in sight, no matter how hard she looked. When Clementine heard the steps echoing upstairs, she clung to the biker jacket by the coat hanger. Not that it would do much besides the boost of confidence.

If Negan came for her next, she wanted to be ready.

**Basil [Negan]**

Once Negan started to feel himself actually punching the floor rather than the former face of the infected, he’d decided he let out enough rage on them. He stayed there for a few moments, looking at his own hands. They were coated in red, and there were obvious cuts all around the knuckles. That would certainly hurt in about five minutes.

Negan finally stood up, and he gathered the two Lucille pieces, grabbing hold of them despite the pain he was already feeling from his hands.

To get out of here, that was all he wanted at this point. Everywhere he looked his vision was clouded in red, so he just focused on getting down the stairs. Getting outside. He marched across the ranch, and while doing so, he made eye contact with Clementine.

He did... nothing, he just continued staring at her, no words to be said. His throat was hurting like hell from all that screaming. This went on for a few seconds before he just continued walking, going outside through the door the infected had bashed down.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine went as far as to aim the gun at him, holding it steady even with her shaky pair of hands. But he really did just walk past her. Wasn’t he mad...?

She regretted the question even before it left her. But it did, as instinctive as the breath steaming from her mouth. “ _You alright?_ ”

**Basil [Negan]**

_Did_ _… did she just say that…_

Negan was going to go to the car, and drive off; cool down and be collected... but, just hearing her speak... that little girl, who just caused his Lucille to break... She had the _audacity_ to say that to him? It stopped him in his tracks. He turned around, and marched straight back to the girl. He didn’t stop. As soon as he got close enough, he slapped the girl across the cheek.

After that, he raised his knee. Kneeing her in the gut.

He grabbed the girl’s hair, pulling her back. He gave her another hit around the cheek. That time, it sent her to the floor.

He wasn’t done, he kicked her, right in the stomach.

“That’s for Lucille.” As he spoke, flecks of blood dropped off of him and onto the girl.

That time, he stopped. Taking a few steps back. It was the mention of _her_... It made him come to his senses. Realization hit him… he just… did that to a kid. He was breathing very heavily. _She_ would hate him for this, doing what he just did.

“I don’t want to see you ever again.” It was more of a warning than a threat. He was worried about what might happen should they come to blows ever again. He was so close to killing her right there, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. She was still a little girl.

**Art [Clementine]**

It was a blank, at first. When her head snapped to the side and the sting on her face blazed like fire. Clem had been backing away, before. She wouldn’t get to take many more steps.

The rifle flew out of her hands as she gagged in her own spit, pain throbbing in her guts. Negan wouldn’t let her fall. Not even when she was so weak at the knees. Clementine’s hair was pulled from the back of her head, and his hand cracked across her face one last time. For that moment, she was relieved to see the floor. Until a kick made her convulse in pain.

The girl covered her face with her arms, bracing herself for more. She didn’t expect it to stop. Clementine couldn’t do anything to make it so.

**Basil [Negan]**

More wouldn’t come. What would Negan be doing? He’d be causing a small girl pain because his baseball bat had been broken. What would he gain? Nothing. She didn’t know how much it meant to him.

He just backed away, before retreating back to the car. He was wishing he never stopped at that place.

**Art [Clementine]**

_You_ _’re lucky_ , Clem told herself as she barked coughs at the floor.

He should have killed her. If it was anyone else, **_anyone else_** , as bad as he was, she would have been lying in a pool of her own blood. And with nothing to show for it. Again, Clem remembered how small and weak she was. She remembered the way Lee slaughtered the people who hurt her, what Ellie did to the man who took her finger… and Clementine realized that she was nothing like them. That she’d never get to have revenge for Tommy, or Jenny. That she was just a scared girl.

And so she was alone again.

—

It was like a night that had no end to it. It may as well have had none. When Clem dragged the last corpse out of her home, the strain in her shoulders ached nearly as bad as her bruised stomach did. The jacket hadn’t done a thing to bear the blow.

The girl blocked the space where the front door used to be with desks and closets packed with memorabilia. Practical, though it looked no good. Like a house that had crumbled years ago. No one would ever come in through there again. Her cold dinner seemed to taste twice as cold, not to say it tasted like nothing at all. Which it did. Like always.

In her mind, every sound she heard was Negan’s. Always him, coming back to finish her. She laughed at her own stupidity: when he let her tie him up, just to make her feel in control; when he let her think, for just that little while, that she was stronger than he was. That she could kill someone like him.

Then she remembered the look on his face. The red smeared across his face and bloodshot eyes. The way they quivered, before his hand came down on her. Clementine held the spoon between her fingers and didn’t eat another drop of the stew.

When she finally came to, the walls around her felt so many inches closer. The silence so much harder to bear. And all she wanted was for Mom and Dad to be there with her.


	6. Tattoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty small chapter this time around, but some fun scenes. Novelization version is almost finished, and should go up at the same time as the last chapter's. Things are going to start heating up here soon :)

_11:38 AM - September 25, 2026_

**Dot [Ellie]**

Nearly two months slipped by without Ellie ever noticing. Infirmary work wasn’t like what she was used to, but it turned out to be a nice change of pace. Maybe she just liked keeping herself busy, though it wasn’t like there were a lot of injuries and illnesses in Jackson. Just enough to leave her feeling sane on the longer days. Her weekly hangouts with Kat were what made it all bearable, if she were being honest. She hated not being able to hang out with her in public, but they made do with Kat’s house. Hanging out, smoking weed, getting drunk, Ellie practicing her guitar, and even a little bit of singing… it almost reminded her of how it was before. Just with a different person.

And as the weather began to turn cooler, windier, and Lee finally healed enough to go out ‘looking’ for Clementine, Ellie found herself heading to Kat’s place once more. Hearing about Lee’s expedition had made the girl in question take up more of her mind than she’d allowed in recent weeks, and Ellie’s arm looked a lot better than it did, so it was time for the tattoo. It’d make a good distraction.

Knocking on Kat’s door, Ellie waited for it to open, revealing the redhead after a minute had gone by. She put on a smile, shifting in her spot on the porch. “Can I come in?”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

These past few months? They’d been boring as fuck. If she’s not going out on some supply run — which she never saw the point in doing, considering they only checked the same places over and over — then she’s placed on guard duty at some post where she ‘can’t possibly let another Savior steal anything important’, so it’s basically just a job to sit her somewhere so she can’t have fun. And if she’s not doing that, she’s getting backlash from all the Jackson residents for… at this point? It’s breathing. One of them literally criticized how she fucking breathes. What, is she supposed to be a mouth breather like them? It’s not like she had a choice against a job schedule. Either her age or the fact she’s a Savior was keeping her out of classes, not that she needed a gun course. That’s something you learn before you walk nowadays. Jackson sucked ass, but at least she could hang out with one cool person around here.

Ellie was around her place all the time, and it’s nice... she just had to avoid her completely in public. Not the first person she had to dodge — _you try slipping past your ex all the time, it_ _’s not easy —_ but, she... oddly didn’t mind it. Secret friends are safer for Ellie anyway.

And speak of the devil. “Sure thing, E. Make yourself at home. To what do I owe the pleasure?” She said, her Scottish accent slipping to welcome a horrid attempt at a proper British one.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie headed inside, letting Kat close the door behind them. There was the faint smell of weed in the air, although that hardly surprised her. Honestly, she was jealous that Kat had some sorta deal to get the stuff. Not that Ellie tried to smoke that often, but when you needed to wind down… Still, it was becoming an all-too-familiar smell, and Ellie liked it, to a degree.

Turning to face her friend, albeit a bit sheepishly, Ellie cleared her throat. “Arm’s healed up about as much as I think it will,” she said, revealing her arm from underneath her hoodie sleeve. “If you’re, um, up to it. I think I’m ready for that tattoo.” She smiled, nervousness causing her to shake a little.

She knew tattoos weren’t exactly a walk in the park. They took concentration to make, and they hurt like hell. But the end result would be worth it, right?

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

The girl straightened up immediately, a smile slipping onto her features as she practically swooped in to place her arm around their shoulder and lead her deeper into her home. “You’ve come at a perfect time, actually. I just finished setting up to give myself another one.” She stopped in front of a closed door, releasing Ellie from her hold to open it and walk in.

Immediately, you could see collections of all the things that made Kat... well, Kat. CDs thrown about; a radio to play them, which is barely holding together at that; clothes folded and left in the corner; a hammock hanging from the ceiling rather than a bed. Honestly, despite the obvious broken-down look the house had, she was able to make it a home.

“Welcome to my room, please take a seat wherever, as long as it’s close enough to my machine.” She moved across the room, picking up her pen and snagging one of her little sheets to transfer it. One must bless the small hook up she had back at the Saviors.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie did as she was told, plopping down in a seat as she took in the room around her. Did Kat really sleep in a hammock...? Guess she really did have it bad here, besides the obvious run-downness of her cabin. She slipped her hoodie off, revealing her black tank top underneath. No sleeves to get in the way.

As she watched Kat get ready, she mentally prepared herself. Tattoos gotta hurt, right? Like, how bad...? _Well, probably not as bad as burning your arm with acid_ , she mused. She’d survive.

Smiling to herself, if only to numb her nerves, she waited silently for Kat to get ready.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Alright, this should be... simple. Might take a while,” Kat mumbled, mainly to herself as she moved over and sat next to Ellie. She carefully moved her arm closer, looking down at the rough skin of where she wanted the ink. It looked better, but still left her just the tiniest bit uneasy. “Alright, I’m going to be completely honest with you here. No bullshitting.” As Kat spoke, she placed the sticky sheet to their skin, carefully rubbing it back and forth to stain her canvas.

“This is going to hurt like hell, but it’ll pay off in the end. And I promise, I have done this before.” She smiled, peeling back the paper she left on their arm to reveal a blue stained outline of what the tattoo will be. She held up their arm to them, letting them see what it would be.

“Are you ready?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

The closer they got to doing this, the faster her heartbeat. Why was she getting so worked up about this? She’d endured so much worse in the past. Yet, seeing the needles had been enough to strike fear into her. To Kat’s question, she nodded solemnly, following it up with a quiet, “Yeah.”

_Alright, Ellie, pull it together. You can do this_ _…_

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

The ginger girl lowered their arm onto her lap with a nod, her fingers tightening around her pen as she moved it to make contact with the skin. She went to work, following her outline as she hummed to herself, being sure to somewhat hold the girl’s arm still with her other.

She moved her hand ever so carefully where it currently held her human canvas, just to be able to flex her pinky around the girl’s thumb. “I can’t exactly hold your hand and make this hurt less.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

_Ow. Ow. Fucking ow._ Ellie winced, trying to hold it together when Kat commented on her squeamishness. Taking in a breath, she calmed herself. The pain was worth it.

“I know,” she said, seemingly more calm than before.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Katrina seemed to nod, continuing her work as gently as she could manage. The job was simple on Kat’s end. Despite the constant worry of how much pain she could be inflicting on her friend constantly on her mind, it was nothing more than lining a work of art along a much more fragile canvas.

Humans are so delicate, and yet they somehow make the most beautiful works of art once expression is put into play. The way they can enact such reactions while also feeling such ways. Humans are the ultimate form of art, despite how ugly and horrible a few tend to act. Ellie was what Kat would consider a prime example of a compelling story. Even if she hadn’t told Kat everything, she could see it in the way she held herself. And... thanks to Ellie, Kat has added her mark to it. A symbol of something once for an old companion now was given light by that of a new friend. A fresh start didn’t sound too bad.

As she finished the final details, she pulled the pen away, clicking it off as she swiped a wet piece of cloth across it to clean up any final stray ink. “Alright. That should do it. What do you think?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Sitting through that was an ordeal in itself. Every second that needle was touching her arm felt like complete agony, especially when it drew closer to the burn, but she endured through it all with clenched teeth and minimal noise. When it was done, all Ellie could do was sigh with relief, looking towards the Scot’s handiwork with a bittersweet smile.

“It’s perfect,” she said. It wasn’t done, of course. This was just the first of _many_ sessions. But… it truly _did_ look badass. Twisting her arm to get the full picture, she glanced towards her friend next to her, wrapping her untattooed arm around the girl’s neck. “Thank you so much. You’re awesome.”

Now, she could go anywhere without feeling like her past was dragging her down. No hiding. She was just Ellie, now, a girl with plenty of issues of her own to deal with and the will to keep pushing through them.

Such a weight had never been lifted off her shoulders in such a way before, it was almost overwhelming.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat had to lean down a bit to keep from choking, but she welcomed the attempt at an embrace with a smile. “Alright, Sappy. It isn’t that big a deal. It’s just ink.” She rolled her eyes, slipping from their grip to remove the sleeve that was covering her right shoulder. It was bare despite the sea of tattoos that trailed up her arm.

“I was personally about to add some more to myself as well. A human canvas is oddly the most fun to play with. It’s also not as hard as it looks. Did you want to try, Short Stuff?” As Kat asked, she held out her pen, an eyebrow raised almost in a challenging fashion. “If it sucks ass I can always fix it later, but then again, I seriously doubt it will.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie gawked at that, unsure if she really wanted to try. Sure, she’d dabbled in drawing some stuff here and there, **_ages ago_** , but doing something permanent on someone’s body? That was the definition of fear right there. Still, she already had an idea of what she’d make, so why not?

“Okay,” she said softly, pushing herself out of the chair, then indicated for Kat to sit in it with a lilted British accent. “Take a seat, m’lady. We shall stain your skin with ink.” _Stupid. Fucking stupid._

Taking Kat’s spot, she tried to familiarize herself with the tools she’d used. She just hoped she wouldn’t hurt Kat in the process.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

As Kat settled in, she began to feel her heart race. This was the kind of stuff that really got her blood pumping! Maybe it was the artistic expression behind it all, or maybe she just liked to feel a little pain once in a while. Can you really blame her for either one? You live a life where you constantly feel empty and hollow, a little pain just makes you feel all the more alive.

“Alright, it’s super simple. Colors are in that container. You turn it on, run it for a second in that rag to bleed previous colors out, and don’t press super hard into my skin please. Just enough to break the surface a little, okay? I’ll tell you if you go too deep.” Kat gave her a confident thumbs up despite the slight worry running through her head. She should have asked her to test on like... anything else first. But sometimes, you have to live in the moment.

**Dot [Ellie]**

With a fresh needle, and a burst of confidence she truly didn’t deserve for her lack of skill, Ellie set to work. What she had in mind was super simple, but it worked perfectly. Taking each stroke carefully, diligently, it took only a few minutes for her to finish.

All in black, her feline creation filled the spot Kat had left open for her, simple in design but pretty cute. She glanced towards her friend as she set down the needle, a small smile on her face as she awaited the girl’s approval.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat looked over when she heard the pen click off, eyes focusing on a small feline decorating her skin. Her eyes practically lit up, and she smiled like a fucking idiot at the sight. “Oh my fuck, it’s a mini me.” She whispered as if raising her voice would scare the tattoo away.

She admired the small cat for a few moments before turning back to Ellie, the biggest grin on her face. “Now we’ve both left our mark on one another. The bond is set, can’t drop me now.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“You’re so tall, I probably couldn’t lift you anyway,” Ellie joked, giving the girl a toothy grin in response.

Relaxing onto Kat’s couch, she took one last look at her new tattoo, savoring how cool it looked, before glancing back at her friend as she entered the living room.

This was a bond she didn’t mind having.

* * *

7:05 PM

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Shades of brown and orange littered the terrain in masses. An inconvenience, but this weather was preferable for Lee, rather than having to deal with the dense snowfall covering up any potential leads. Which was why he’d made it a priority to start searching before winter hit. Somewhere far enough, but still in the vicinity of Jackson for trade, that was what Lee would have suggested if he had been with her. He had to be careful, since these areas were littered with bandits and infected, which made navigation all the more harder.

Obviously, he’d been nothing but distraught these past few months. Which made it hard to sleep, eat… or think about doing anything productive. They’d moved him out of the old house, into some small room, probably on Tripp’s orders. Honestly, maybe that was for the better. It didn’t matter though, because Lee hardly cared about any of that.

A few niggles still resided in his thigh, enough to prohibit the man from traveling that far. He could walk now, at the very least, and that was enough for Lee. Even after he was starting to heal, they were still trying to bar him from leaving through the gates for some goddamn reason. They told him it was for his own safety, but Lee wasn’t stupid. He knew they were reluctant to let him out because they thought he wouldn’t come back, and losing a teacher probably wasn’t on the agenda. Maybe one of these days they’d be right. One way or another, the man would be allowed outside of the walls, something he’d made quite clear.

While he was out here, Lee had managed to stumble up on what looked to be a campfire site. His boots crunched against the dry leaves, wincing as he knelt down to get a better look.

Rocks were placed down in a circle, with scorched remains of what used to be logs, now just a black powder in the middle.

_Been here for a long time..._

He sighed out, disappointed in the old findings. Still, signs of life were better than nothing. Lee mulled over his thoughts, eyes glazing over the remains of the camp.

_Maybe out here I could be in range?_

It was worth a shot, even if it didn’t yield any results. Lee slung the backpack he carried over his shoulder and to his feet. His hand went in, digging around for a bit, until he pulled out a handheld radio.

He twisted the knob, cycling over a few channels. Lee had been trying for months, to no avail. No way he’d stop trying… not until he got _something._

“Clementine…?”

It came as no surprise that he was greeted by static and silence. Lee lowered the radio, a disheartened grumble escaping his lips as he shook his head at himself. However, a strange noise he hadn’t expected drew his attention to the old tent just in front of him. It sounded like… shuffling?

_What the hell?_

It was moving, like he’d just woken someone up. Slowly but surely, he stepped towards the tent. At the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but think the best case scenario. Lee may have just found her.

“Hello...?”

A response filled his ears, though… not what he was hoping for. That horrible sound filled his ears. A conjoined symphony of croaks and clicks. “No… **No!** ”

It tore through the tent, lumbering towards him with such ferocity, Lee had no time for anything except to take a step back, his weak leg still threatening to buckle. So, without a second thought, he drew his pistol, firing one well placed shot into its heart. The stalker dropped to the ground, writhing and squealing, before another well-placed shot in the chest put it down for good.

“Oh, God…” The gun fell from his hand, and an overwhelming amount of panic welled up inside of him. He rushed to the body, falling to his knees in front of it. “Please, please…” He whimpered, turning the corpse over, in an effort to see if he could recognize any familiar features. The face was covered in ugly growths and scabs, hardly recognizable. To his total relief, the body… it was too big to be hers.

Lee fell to his backside, panting as if he’d just run a marathon. The man squeezed his eyes shut, shunning himself for believing for a second that it might’ve been her. He’d sit there for a moment longer if he could help it, long enough for him to regain his composure. Thing was, that didn’t seem like it would be happening any time soon…

**Basil [Negan]**

While many had taken the break in travel to attend to their needs, Negan leaned against his car, thinking. They’d just been through another stop to Jackson, that community he took months ago. It seemed like yesterday he was finally wearing down their final resistance, but that was over, and now he had been reaping the rewards for the last few months. Not that there wasn’t any trouble, there were a few non-conformists that had to have a little more instruction, but eventually things were moving along efficiently. His territory expanded, and he couldn’t help but think how successful they were, surely what they’re doing must be right.

Taking a sip of his bottle of water, he couldn’t help but notice the trees. Winter was coming, hopefully it wouldn’t be as grueling as they’d been. Food was becoming more scarce to feed their growing population, he always got less tribute during the winter. He shook his head, cursing the seasons themselves in his mind. Raising the bottle to his lips, he was about to take a second sip, when a thundering crack of noise interrupted him. It had shook many of those around him, yet he remained calm. Within mere moments, he was marching into the forest, Lucille clutched tightly in his grip.

Not long after, the sight of a man sitting in front of a campfire, Negan approached closer. The man looked more familiar the closer he got. Behind him, the few Saviors that were quick enough to follow Negan raised their weapons, they knew he had a gun. There was a dead infected close by; Negan connected the dots. “Sure do hope you’re not fucking bitten, pal.” He hadn’t raised his bat, but he was ready in case he launched at him. He could already be turning.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

These days, it seemed like anything that happened in this region was someone else’s business. Which was obvious enough due to the voice that has just snapped the man out of his trance. Lee attempted to scramble to his feet, but was slower off the mark, his leg pulsing with a sharp pain. He winced, standing up to face the one person he didn’t think he could handle today.

_Negan._

Lee’s only hand tightened around the handle of the gun like a vice grip as he held it near his hip. All of the events that had transpired months ago, this man had been the catalyst to it. Tommy was dead, Joel and Ellie were in shambles, he’d lost Clementine after Negan had traumatized her. For those reasons alone, Lee yearned for the opportunity for that bat-wielding sack of shit to be alone right now. Yet, the man’s guards followed him around like a bad smell.

“No.” His response was dry, scowling at the other man. “I’m not.”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan stared forth at the man; if he remembered correctly, his name was Lee. That day, he can remember, Lee was very unlucky. However, he was back out here so maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

“Thank fuck, I was worried I’d have to smash your face in. I just ate and everything, that would’ve ruined my day.” Negan stared around him idly, trying to figure out why he was out here. He was a lot calmer now, knowing he wouldn’t have to act violently at all; he wasn’t in the mood. “I’ve just finished collecting your lot’s tribute. You’ve really out-fucking-done yourself this time. You out for a scavenging trip now?” Negan quizzed, surely they wouldn’t let someone with a leg problem out like this.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

“Not a scavenging trip,” Lee spoke in a tone which he figured was _just_ enough not to get him shot. The over-politeness was palpable, because on the inside it was clear that Lee was absolutely fucking fuming. Negan seemed to waltz around without a care in the world, oblivious to how much pain he caused. “I’m looking for my kid.” He added, a slight twitch in his eye, trying as hard as he could to restrain himself from lunging forward. “In case you didn’t know, after you were done torturing her, Jackson voted to kick her out.”

“So, I guess the reason why I’m out here is because she’s gone, Negan.” Lee hated him, hated him so much to the point where it made him sick.

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan’s head recoiled back, he was not ready for the emotional harassment Lee was putting him under. He tried to remember that day.

“That was Clementine, right?” He asked. The tone in the man’s voice was clear, and he could tell how he was feeling. “The one who nearly fucking blew my head off? Well, maybe this’ll be a better lesson for her than what I did. That is, if she’s still alive to learn it.” He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn’t help but love to press his buttons. Although, feeling he might have pushed too far, he backtracked. “I’m joking, that’s terrible.” Negan said, not a trace of sarcasm with it. He did feel bad for Lee, especially considering he shot him for no real reason.

“Look I’d just like to apologize for shooting you. It was my bad, and I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Now, out of the kindness of my heart, I’d be willing to offer some resources in this effort to save ya kid.” Negan spoke sincerely, though he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to visit the kid again, after the last time. Little fucker was wilder than a feral dog.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Lee listened to the man ramble on, growing more tired of it by the minute. Negan’s supplies meant nothing, his apologies even less. The man’s pride wouldn’t allow him to accept anything, not from the man who’d taken so much from them, and was continuing to do so even now. Although, deep down, Lee supposed he was hoping that Negan had seen _something_ out there that could lead him to her, since his people practically controlled these lands now.

“Unless you can tell me where Clementine is, I don’t want anything from you,” he stated, blunt in his manner.

**Basil [Negan]**

“You’re refusing our help? Well, you clearly don’t want to fucking find her, then.” Negan spoke, a grin had surfaced at the sheer audacity of it, surely he wasn’t in the position to refuse him. Yet he acquiesced, although with a snide comment along with it. Looking around him, they really were in the middle of nowhere, quite a walk away from Jackson.

“Well fuck me, I can’t just leave you out here like this. At least let me give you a lift back, that leg looks fucked.” Negan offered, a genuinely kind tone accompanying it. He did feel like he owed Lee; Negan certainly didn’t have a great impact on the man’s life. “I don’t know where your little girl is, but I’m sure she wouldn’t want you risking your fucking life like this for nothing.”

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

His eyes fanned over the to the guards, with their kitted out assault rifles and whatnot. Most of them looked like they were ready to pull the trigger at any moment. He couldn’t fathom being trapped in a car with Negan, and since Lee already knew the way back himself, it really wasn’t preferable. Even if Negan’s last comment about Clementine may have been true, that didn’t mean Lee cared about that in the slightest. If risking himself out here had even the smallest of chances when it came to tracking her down, he’d keep doing it in a heartbeat. It was more than just an obligation... _much_ more.

Finally, Lee’s wary gaze met Negan’s, answering his offer for a lift with a question of his own. “Do I got a choice?”

**Basil [Negan]**

Negan raised an eyebrow at the man in front of him. He seemed adamant on not accepting his offer. “‘Do I got a choice?’ Jesus fucking Christ, man.” Negan mocked. “I don’t understand this masochistic shit going on right now. I’m offering you a perfectly good fucking lift. Do you want it or not? It’s getting fucking dark, and I ain’t about to bust my balls trying to convince a cripple to accept help. What do I need to say? Here, have a lift from the cold, _and_ I’ll bring you loads of hot women to fucking jack you off whenever you want. Or I’ll build you your own fucking synthetic arm with my bare fucking hands, would that be enough?” Negan spoke sarcastically, finishing with a little chuckle at the weirdness of it. It really shouldn’t be this difficult to do someone a favor, should it?

“But to answer your question because I’m anything but uncouth. Yes, either take my generous offer, or find your own fucking way back, probably dying along the way. Your choice!” Negan finished, trying to keep up a smile with it.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Much to his confusion… and relief, the man clearly wasn’t in the mood to muck around today. Which worked for Lee, since the only way he was getting in one of these vehicles was if they forced him on. It probably wasn’t a good idea to piss Negan off any more than he already had. Whilst he ranted, Lee kept his irritated gaze to the leaves below, wondering how someone _this_ vulgar could end up commanding an army large enough to control several communities at a time. Regardless, he had to reel his anger in and get the hell out of here, before Negan decided he’d want to do something _not so nice_ to him instead. Did he genuinely feel bad for what he’d done? Or was the guy so drunk on power that he finally got bored of bossing people around? It was no secret to Lee that he already had a few screws loose.

“Look, I’m fine to walk back myself.” As Negan was most likely unaware of, Lee had trudged through much further and worse conditions out here. Even with his leg the way it was, he could handle it. “So, I’ll just be heading off.” He stated, already leaning down to pick up his bag.

**Dot [Negan]**

Negan only watched as Lee grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulders. Guess that was that, then. The lack of trust these days. Shaking his head, Negan sighed. “Alright, big man. You enjoy that walk of yours. We’ll see you real soon.”

He really did hope Lee would find that girl. Maybe he’d have better luck turning her savage ass around than he did.

Rounding up his men with a gesture, they disappeared into the forest.


	7. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter releases are gonna be on a weekly basis for the foreseeable future (only hitch will be when we get to Chapter 27, since there's still a scene in progress for that one, but I'm hoping to have it finished before we get there), so keep an eye out. Haven't decided if it's gonna stay on Fridays or go to Saturdays, but it'll definitely be on one of those two :)

_3:34 PM - October 1, 2026_

**Art [Clementine]**

The sun rested on her shoulders in a way Clementine didn’t like. It was bad enough dealing with the weight on her back, literal or otherwise.

A stag smoothed along a mossy patch of grass, tied to the frame of a small girl - wounds on its leg, and a larger one in its neck. Though it didn’t skid quite fast enough, unless you put all your back into it; and _that_ she did. Clem’s boots were past the point of being just old and worn, ripples opening in the leather to show off her polka dot socks. The soles would be next, and she was anything but looking forward to it. She’d often stare at her legs, watching them rot. Her eyes happened to stand out when the rest of her face was so full of blood, guts and dirt. 

That was the worst part, maybe. With all that carcass on you, stuffed into your travel bag and tied to your waist, you’d be remiss to smell human on top of it. She felt disgusting. They wouldn’t let her in anyway, so why bother? A whole trip just to be shot down... and yet there she was, starving in all her non-glory. When Clem saw the gates, her pace slowed instinctively, as if her body finally started to feel the journey there. She had to bite her lip and bear the brunt. 

The steps ended when she thought she couldn’t take another. Clementine shot her gaze upward and squinted her eyes. It took pulling her hat down a notch to see past the sunlight. 

“Hey, Lydia.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

It was one of those days where Carl’s hat came in handy. The unrelenting rays of sun bore down their full might, causing beads of sweat to form around her temples, which she constantly had to keep swiping away with the top of her wrist.

The girl almost couldn’t believe her eyes as she spotted a figure that might as well have been one of the dead, but thanks to the carcass… and that hat. It was easy to tell exactly who this was.

Clementine was barely recognizable through all of the tattered attire she wore, as well as the muck and grime that coated her body from head to toe. She was _fucking alive_ , and had survived out there for much longer than Lydia would’ve given her credit for.

 _She looks like shit_ _…_

What else was she expecting? Clementine was cast out to hang and dry, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened next. If you weren’t dead out there already, soon you’d start wishing you were.

“Clementine...” She greeted with a glum look on her face, unsure of what she could even say. It was a miserable sight, one that left Lydia feeling gross inside, much grosser than Clementine looked.

 _Don_ _’t pretend. This is what you always wanted. Since the beginning._

**Art [Clementine]**

She’d forgotten the sound of her voice, but somehow the bitter in it was familiar. Good as it was to see a friend, Clem didn’t waste Lydia’s time with any small talk. “Is Andrea there?” The girl asked, flashing eyes so sweet they’d twist anyone’s heart - or make them want to puke. 

“Can I come in?”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Andrea can’t make that call.”

It was hard to burst the girl’s bubble, but that was just the reality of it. The short time it took for everyone to turn on Clementine, it’d been almost equally as fast for Andrea. Whatever favor she still had in here, it’d been snuffed out by the many supporters that’d rallied themselves behind their new snide asshole of a leader.

“It’s up to Tripp, and I think you and I both know what _he_ _’s_ gonna say…”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine seemed undeterred. “What about you?” She asked, hiding a smile from under her cap. Hadn’t been her plan to sneak in, no, but it wasn’t really _sneaking in,_ sneaking in. More like... directing you to reception. “Look, you guys are like the _only_ community around. I just wanna sell some stuff. No biggie.” Just how much of a biggie was it? She sure as hell wasn’t leaving until someone indulged her.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Like I said, _I know_ what Tripp is gonna say.” She shrugged, her voice straightforward and by the book, having already made up her mind.

Lydia fell silent again, shooting a small glance over her shoulder before directing it back to the lonesome trader below. No smile, no nothing. “So that’s why we’re not gonna ask him.”

The girl on watch disappeared from view, scooting down the ladder before hitting solid ground. She stomped over to the gate in complete defiance, opening it herself, stepping aside so Clementine could make her way through.

“Tripp can take his bullshit rules and shove them straight up his ass. _That_ _’s_ what I’d say.” Lydia wanted them to know, not like she gave a shit what they all thought anymore. Hopefully, Clementine had enough time to do what she needed to do before they caught her. “If anyone asks who let you in, you can tell them it was me.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine felt something rise in her chest, and for that short little while she thought it may’ve been relief. Unfamiliar, like the taste of a warm cup of coffee. The girl took only a few slow steps forward, weighed down by the dead stag she was lugging around… just enough so she could pull Lydia in for a hug.

“I won’t tell.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia froze in her boots, uncertain eyes darting all over the place when Clementine embraced her. It was always hard to prepare herself for this type of affection, since the whole concept of ‘hugging’ was alien to her for a long time, something she had yet to grow accustomed to. It still _did_ feel kind of weird, even nowadays. Still, none of that even compared to the awkwardness of knowing that this was one big undeserved hug.

She returned it the best she could, though, awkwardly patting Clementine on the back, scrunching up her nose slightly at the stench.

“If you get time… come by mine later.” She offered, believing that maybe she could try to make the girl’s life easier when it came to supplies, but that wasn’t the only thing. “I wanna talk.” Lydia added, not really knowing how to word what it was about. Clementine definitely needed to be filled in on a few things. “I - If you want.”

**Art [Clementine]**

The biggest surprise was not getting a punch to the face again. Everything else was just a plus. “Let’s see if I won’t get kicked out first,” Clementine said through a whittling breath — the type of answer some stone-cold loner would give, and not her. Besides not knowing what type of crap getting kicked out _two times_ would entail, the thing that terrified her the most was sticking around longer than she had to. Lydia’s place included, even though she’d take her up on it in, like, a heartbeat. Clementine made sure her things were strapped and firm, and went on her way.

There was no kind way of saying she stood out. It was like everyone there could smell her coming, and not in any joking kind of way. Kids scrunched their noses as she walked past the park and she stuck her tongue out right back at ‘em.

Clem stopped by the church - or more aptly named, her least favorite place in the world. If only those had more gospel singers and less dickhead tyrants. The girl walked right in, stag carcass and all, to whatever welcome they meant to dish out. Honestly, if they fired first they’d be sparing her.

* * *

**Dot [Tripp]**

It was almost time for another Saviors visit. Tripp had been spending the last few days getting everything together, inventorying their shelves and ensuring they had enough to appease their _benign overlords_. Things were finally starting to make sense around here, so he took a moment to rest, slumping into his chair. He hated this part of the job, but struggled through it all the same. ‘You made your bed, now lay in it,’ Andrea would say. Could be worse, if she was still in charge.

He smelled Clementine far before she ever showed up at his open door, carrying a deer carcass wrapped over her. He raised an eyebrow, at first taken aback that the girl was even here at all. Of course, he knew that she resided in the mountains — anyone with a sufficient amount of supply runners heard enough to keep up-to-date — but she must’ve been desperate to come back here.

“Killed that deer on your own?” he asked, looking over her. She was covered in blood and dirt, and if it’d been any other survivor, he might’ve been impressed. Surviving out there wasn’t an easy task. “I s’pose you did,” he sighed, pushing himself to his feet. He wasn’t going to question how she’d gotten into Jackson in the first place, he already knew, so he indicated for Clementine to head down the hallway a bit more. “Put it down in the stockroom. We’ll talk trade, since I know that’s what you’re here for.”

_Oughta play along, see what she wants. Quicker I get her out of here, the better._

**Art [Clementine]**

_It_ _’s a stag,_ Clementine wanted to say with words soaked in mockery, but somehow the girl knew better. She did as asked, returning to the hallway empty-handed, barring cold, fixed stares. “I want a horse,” she said, instead.

**Dot [Tripp]**

After Clementine returned, he settled back into his chair, looking over her as she spoke up. His jaw tightened, frowning. “I can’t spare one,” he said evenly, grinding his teeth. “They’re needed for supply runs.” _And you_ _’ll need a lot more than_ ** _that_** _to get me to hand one over._

“Unless you’re plannin’ on using it to bring back more, then it isn’t worth the trade.”

**Art [Clementine]**

She felt her brows scrunch together. This was her one break, and he shot her down immediately. She was starved and tired, and smelling of death… Now she was good as stranded in that ranch, too. A whole world away from Salt Lake City. Clementine leaned closer to Tripp and slammed her hands onto his desk. “Can’t, or won’t?”

**Dot [Tripp]**

Tripp simply let the girl vent, as calm as he was prior to her little outburst. Not like it was difficult to predict her response in the first place. His voice held venom within, shaking his head in disapproval. “I’m not Tommy, Clementine. Having a fit won’t get you anywhere with me.”

“If you want a horse, you’ll have to earn it. The deer’s a step in the right direction, but I need more. Hell, I’ll _loan_ you one if you go out there and find _somethin_ _’_ worth giving to that asshole you pissed off.”

Without more, this next offering would be light enough to put them in deep shit. Jackson County was running dry, and if Clementine wanted a horse that badly, she probably wasn’t staying in the area. Might as well put her to use.

“Do that, and you can keep the horse.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Abashed, Clem backed away, refusing to let him have one over her. She felt smaller, then. Not knowing what to do with her arms, or where to step so as not to stumble. “So… I’m supposed to hand over my only food until you feel like paying me for it…” She said, unbelieving. Pissed off. “When’s that gonna be?” The girl crossed her arms expectantly, only for her eyes to go round. A siren going off in her head. 

“What am _I_ supposed to eat?!”

**Dot [Tripp]**

_You_ _’re really trading all of your food for a horse? Kid must be desperate._ “Calm down, you’re not leaving here empty-handed,” Tripp said, holding a hand up to try and quiet her. They may not see eye-to-eye — for obvious reasons — but he wasn’t going to cheat her.

“I’ve been preparing an expedition into Idaho for some more supplies. You can go along, help out. Come back with something, and like I said, you can have the horse.” _That, and I_ _’m not just letting you leave with a horse without someone to make sure you bring it back._ “Carl’s leadin’ it. I’m sure you two’ll get along. Always have. He was supposed to go with one of our resident Saviors, but seein’ that it’s a long trip, I’m sure they could use the extra help. You’ll have all the food and water you’d need for the trip.”

“Or you could take your deer back and head home horseless. Your choice.” _C_ _’mon, kid, I’m_ ** _trying_** _to help you._

**Art [Clementine]**

Flushed with anger before, her face had gone pale as snow. Staying that long was just… out of the question. Clementine tried to mutter all sorts of things, just to settle for crushed silence. She couldn’t bear to see Lee again… much less Ellie, who’s words stung just as they rang true.

But she’d do anything if it meant seeing Mom and Dad again.

“I get a room for the night. And I don’t leave without supplies for the way back.” Was he as desperate as she was? Clem shot her same knife-like gaze and waited.

**Dot [Tripp]**

While housing Clementine for the night sounded like a recipe for disaster, given Jackson’s opinion on her, Tripp found no reason not to accept her terms. The girl looked exhausted, after all, and Tripp wasn’t _completely_ heartless. He nodded to her request, sitting back in his chair. “Meet me here in the morning. We’ll talk out the plan with the rest of your group.”

“Don’t cause any trouble.” It didn’t need saying, but he wanted to make doubly sure this deal wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.

* * *

**Art [Clementine]**

Daylight was running short, and so was the time to go through with it. Clementine could’ve asked for her own room, if there were any to spare, but the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Frankly, she dreaded the thought of sleeping alone that night. At least over at Lydia’s place, she could crash without making any more fuss. And without feeling watched.

“Lyd,” Clementine yelled softly, knocking at her door. She wasn’t sure how to go about it exactly, but Clem had practiced the words. When the door opened, she’d ask, just short of begging...

“Offer still up?”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“No, _you stink._ Go away.”

Hopefully, Clementine knew _that_ one was a joke, since Lydia was already stepping aside to let her in. Not like she ever was good at being quirky without coming off like a dick, but she tried. If Clem was already here, then it obviously meant that the girl felt like she had no other options. _I mean there must be nowhere else to stay_ _… if she’s coming to my shitty place…_

“Seriously though, didn’t they let you have a shower yet?”

**Art [Clementine]**

She wasn’t in the mood for it, if it even _was_ a joke. Stuff like that was just humiliating. “No…” Clementine frowned and looked for what else to say, coming up empty.

It was that silence that broke her. Suddenly, Clem felt no footing at all, holding tightly one wrist while her legs went wobbly and jelly-like. It was a stammer like no other that sealed it, clumsy as her posture. “Could you—”

“Can I use yours…?”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Oh. Uhm—” The girl’s mouth hung a bit, looking over her shoulder towards the bathroom. Only now, she’d realized just how much Clementine was struggling to stand on her own two feet. Lydia knew the signs… and they pointed to that facade of strength the outcasted girl had been putting on beginning to falter, now that she was out of public. “Y—Yeah, okay… sure.” She spoke, meeting her somber gaze as she nudged her head in the direction of another door. “Bathroom’s just through there.”

It truly sucked for the blonde, feeling like there was nothing she could do to make up for what happened, that she had to overcompensate _because_ of it. The mere sight of Clementine wasn’t something Lydia ever thought she knew how to comprehend… or handle.

“I have some clothes and stuff that might fit… looks like you need it.” Lydia offered, lowering her voice in an effort to be ‘polite’. Her eyes glazed over Clementine’s crappy clothes, realizing those stupid looking socks of hers were visible through the rotted boots.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine had to smile, though it was fragile and injured. Not wanting to show. “Thank you so much,” said the girl, who could hardly help the rush in which she followed her friend in, hugging herself.

Lydia’s place was actually better than Clem remembered, despite not changing at all. Tight-spaced, but warm. So warm. The hat went first, laid down on a table, then her jacket, slipping off her shoulders for the first time that day. Under, she had a mucked up gray hoodie, and under that still, a baseball jersey. Clementine couldn’t wait to wear something that smelled better. “Won’t take long, okay?” Clem assured her, and left.

She flinched as the water fell on her shoulders, carrying mud all the way to her toes. Her hair had withered and turned to threads of straw, but now it fell over her eyes in soft curls, grateful for being washed. She was grateful, too.

Clementine left Lydia’s bathroom with a jumper dress much too big for her, hiding her top and shorts as well as her wrists. Her hair, then, expanded like a blowfish, reaching past her back and covering her ears. A different person, if not for the awkward steps and the stiffness in her voice.

“Can I stay the night?” Clementine knew she was pushing when she said it, though she felt ready to do anything for a spot of her own. Even if it meant sleeping on the carpet. “Please.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia retreated towards the trusty portable heater in the room’s corner and sat on the ground, arms hugging her knees while she waited for the former Jackson member to finish up. She figured that a clean Clementine would be heaps better than one dripping dead stag juice all over her carpet, so letting her use the shower was a no-brainer, really. Though, it’d be a lie if the girl said she wasn’t at least _a little_ concerned to check the condition of her bathroom afterward.

Even from here, she could hear the sound of water droplets constantly hitting the tiles, reverberating throughout her apartment. Being the only user of that room for the longest time, it was weird having to listen to someone else in it. Granted, it was even more bizarre for her to let people inside, let alone use her fucking shower.

Before she could really think about it any further, Clementine stepped out, in _new_ clothes, which looked slightly baggy on her, but brand new nonetheless.

“ _Can I stay the night?_ ”

It was a request, but Lydia knew it was a plea for help more than anything. What was she going to do, anyway? Kick the kid out after giving her clothes and a free shower? There really wasn’t any other option but to let her stay, as much as her instincts were telling her not to…

“Alright.” Lydia said after a pause, making it painfully obvious that she’d given Clementine’s stay some thought before giving her an answer. “Dunno where you’re gonna sleep yet, but I’ll make something work... I guess.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Well, that was good. One big weight off her shoulders. “Alright,” she sighed, hand on her hip.

“So, what do you do, usually?” Clementine broke the silence. “Like when you’re on your own.” She walked right up to Lydia and flashed her a smile. “Let’s do something fun.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_Something fun?_

Already, she was put off, belly starting to twist. Lydia wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out what _her_ version of ‘fun’ was. She was also certain that Clementine _really_ didn’t want to know what she did alone in here.

“Just... hang around.” She replied as quickly as possible, only so it wouldn’t look like she didn’t know how to answer that.

“Had a PlayStation, but it’s gone now.” The big raid hadn’t been kind, so she was clueless on what to do.

**Art [Clementine]**

“I know other games,” she said coyly.

Clementine sat on Lydia’s carpet with her legs crossed and heart on her sleeve. “How about an easy one? Never have I ever. You’ve done that before.” Clem wasn’t sure she had, actually. Just felt like a _thing_ everyone did once.

“You have to say a thing you’ve _never_ done before... but if the other girl has, that’s how you win.”

“Let’s say... the loser has to dress up, and the winner gets to pick an outfit. No saying no.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Never ha-… _what?_ ” Lydia confused herself trying to repeat whatever weird phrase Clementine had just said. She frowned, sitting there and staring at the girl opposite her in complete bafflement. Was this really what people their age did for fun?

“This sounds kinda stupid.” Her eyebrows furrowed even tighter together after the rules had been explained, vigorously fighting the urge to freak out. It was a recipe for intrusive questions, and Lydia definitely knew how she felt about _those._

But…

At the very least, she’d managed to sell her enough on this ‘game’ to make her curious.

“You go first, then.” Lydia sighed out, sending a worried glance in her opponent’s direction, preparing for the worst.

**Art [Clementine]**

Lydia didn’t seem all too excited, no surprise. Everyone had their first. “No problem.” _I should probably go easy on her._ “Alright, listen up. Never have I ever eaten a bug!” Clementine exclaimed, trying to force out enthusiasm like you passed a cold: if not by accident, through sheer force of will.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

From the second those words left her mouth, Lydia knew it was over. Immediately, she thought of every time an insect was dug up when they got hungry, it was pretty much a basic practice when she was with the Whisperers.

“This game is shit. I already lost…”

**Art [Clementine]**

“W — What?” How could she _not_ be stunned, what the _hell_? “You ate a bug?” Clem’s mouth couldn’t but quiver at the thought. Though maybe some other stuff was quivering too, like the lunch in her stomach. “That’s okay. We’re just practicing...” said Clementine, hands raised, with the smile turned anxious of hers. “Do me. C’mon.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Nuh-uh, that was embarrassing for me, no way you’re getting away with that.” Lydia wasn’t about to let Clementine steal the win. “So fine, I’ll _do you_ one better, by changing the rules, since you set me up.” She said, forcefully trying to hold back the deviant smirk beginning to form on her face. If Clementine wanted her to play, it was going to be by Lydia’s rules. This way at least, she could twist it around so she wouldn’t have to answer any tough questions herself. _I_ _’ll show her how to play a game._

“I get to ask _you_ three questions.” She started, getting serious again. It was the perfect idea, since Lydia planned to ask her tonight anyway, game or not. “If I think the answers are truthful and worthy enough, because I lost, I’ll let you do that weird dress up punishment thing on me.”

“Understood?”

**Art [Clementine]**

“Under...stood,” Clementine pouted, looking toward Lydia with peering eyes. What was up with her? Clem had a half mind to say no, but… “Just ask.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia very well realized she was about to turn this ‘game’ into something heavy, but her brain was screaming for answers. Maybe she’d start with her lightest question first? As time went by, Lydia found it harder to remember the details of that night, but _she did_ recall being pissed off with how cold Clementine’s greeting was.

“The night we first met, before the fight… what was your first impression of me? Like, what did you _really_ think?” She traced a finger in circles along the carpet, nervously keeping her gaze towards the floor as she asked.

**Art [Clementine]**

It wasn’t so warm in Lydia’s apartment anymore, she thought. It was freezing. Clem’s blood stopped running and made her face look powdery white. Gone was her chirpy voice, all the fake smiles and the fake lighthearted attitude. She was Clementine again. Sapped of the talent to act like a girl. _What do you mean?_

Clementine was scared of telling the truth, most of all. Would Lydia kick her out if she did? Would it be worse if she lied? Clem waited until the last possible second to answer, and felt she could’ve spent a thousand moments more. Her night of fun had just been fed to the dogs. “I thought... you were kinda bitchy, just ‘cause Tommy gave Joel and the rest of us special treatment.” The girl had to force the words out, teeth urging to grind each other. “And — I was in a bad mood, alright? So, I was bitchy too.” She felt both sorry and frustrated. Looking at Lydia got a little harder, after.

“But I wanted to be friends. I still want to.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

It sounded about right, her answer. The girl couldn’t be angry this time, since she agreed with her analysis on the situation, well… most of it. Lydia _was_ being a super massive bitch, but it might not have been for the reason Clementine may have thought. The whole ‘bad mood’ excuse was questionable too, but she decided to let it pass unquestioned. Did the blonde really want to tell her the real truth? Why she acted the way she did towards her?

Not really, not today.

Lydia scrunched up her lips, silently nodding with a small shrug. “Fair enough.”

“Question two…” She continued, adjusting her posture before meeting Clem’s gaze again.

“So, you came to stay here tonight…” A brief pause followed, the crackling of that small heater being the only source of noise for a moment. “Instead of staying at your friend… the teacher’s place… or Ellie’s?” Lydia wasn’t so dense that she overlooked how much Mr. Everett treated her like a daughter, hell, they _lived_ together, and she already might’ve suspected the situation with Ellie. Still, she wanted to hear it for herself. _Something_ must’ve gone down to warrant her coming here.

“What the fuck happened between you all?”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine didn’t like that question. It was personal, for one, and it hurt to dwell on it besides. She wrung her fingers together, chewing on her lip. “I don’t want them to worry about me. Rather they not even know I’m here.” She could judge her all she wanted, Clem didn’t expect Lydia to understand. Things were messy and downright awful.

“Plus, I...”

“I want to look for my Mom and Dad. Mr. Everett thinks they’re dead, so he’d say I’m just wasting my time.” It was back again, the contempt in her voice. As if she could help it. Her nails dug further into her shorts the longer Clementine thought about it. _And him._

“So, yeah.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Okay.”

Answers were lucky to get right now, but wrapping her mind around _this_ one was pretty hard. _Who still looks for their parents after so long anyway?_ Then again, actually _wanting_ to see family wasn’t a feeling she could relate to at all, so maybe it was just a thing she’d never understand. It _did_ sound like a big waste of time, though.

“I’ve seen him in class, he hasn’t been looking too good… just so you know.”

Lydia was treading carefully with her words, as best as she knew how to. Nonetheless, she saw fit to bring it up, if Clementine even cared or not was a different story. She wasn’t about to tell her what to do, or try to get involved in any way.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about Ellie, though. She’s been enjoying herself since Negan’s people moved in, spending heaps of time with her new _Savior_ friend.” The frown lines reappeared, and she could feel her fists itching to ball up. Lydia just couldn’t help herself, time really hadn’t changed her thoughts on Ellie’s disloyalty at all.

“Honestly, Clem, I didn’t know her like you did. But I thought she was better than... _that._ ” As if her no-show at the church wasn’t horrible enough, it was like everything they’d lost because of the Saviors didn’t matter to her at all. That slimeball of a redhead had done nothing but hide like a bitch since Lydia confronted her, which only confirmed how guilty she was. _Fucking whorebag_ _…_

**Art [Clementine]**

It sounded like bad gossip. The made up kind, only meant to hurt you. Ellie making friends with a **_Savior_**...? After what they did to her? To Tommy?

To Jenny.

“Is that true...?” Her throat felt mended shut. Clementine rubbed her eyes with one sleeve, looking dead-straight at the floorboards. _She... She isn_ _’t even upset about us?_ “Are they… close friends?” Clem wanted to ask if they were dating, straight out. She had hang-ups spilling all over Lydia’s apartment. A pretty sight.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Yes. _It is._ ” The other girl clearly didn’t want to believe it, neither did Lydia. No one could deny the facts though, or what she’d heard and seen of the two. Ellie was just treating her like a used bandage, tossing her out like there was no need anymore and moving on to the next one. When asked if they were close, she could feel the disappointment oozing off her. “Sure looks like it.”

**Art [Clementine]**

She had to think it wasn’t. That her best friend would never do that.

But Clementine remembered the last thing Ellie said to her, and Clementine wasn’t in the habit of playing dumb. It seemed so unthinkable back then. When they took turns making each other breakfast, or made jests of tying the knot. She’d burned those bridges a long time ago, when she left.

It didn’t mean she would forgive her.

“What’s your last question...?” Clem asked, monotone and sapped of life. Forcing Lydia to talk about anything other than such a back-stabber. _Is that why you weren_ _’t there when they voted me out?_

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia was more than happy to take a hint and move on, since it was pretty obvious that Clem wasn’t so hot after that last question. Luckily for her, there was only _one more_ to go. This one, even the blonde was dreading.

“Um...” She rocked back and forth, cuddling her knees even tighter than before, trying to clear the annoying tickle in her throat... Or was it a lump?

“Sometimes, I don’t get how you’re so nice.” She paused, her eyes trying their best to lock on to _anything_ that wasn’t Clementine. “ _To me._ ”

“I mean, I’m not gonna pretend that I didn’t treat you like... dog shit.” She frowned at the heater, a look that was intended for herself. Thinking about everything that had transpired recently, and… not so recently, it was nauseating. “For _so_ long.” Lydia made it her mission to bring misery on that girl, purposefully went out of her way to do it whenever she could, over the pettiest crap, too. Like so many other things in her life, the cheerful attitude and the request to play games… it didn’t feel deserved either.

“Why would you want to be friends with a… s — sadistic fuck like me?” She had to warn her, because there was no guarantee that she wouldn’t lose control again and act out. If Clementine thought it was hard enough being at odds with her, then oh boy, being friends was probably even harder. Carl could maybe vouch for that.

**Art [Clementine]**

“I don’t know,” Clem told her, as honest as she could be. Up ‘till now, she hadn’t had that luxury: the time to reflect on things. Always going where her heart led and doing what her gut told her. Even then, something in that rung untrue. She did know, sort of.

Clementine brushed her long hair aside, twirling fingers between the curls. Struggling to say simple things, as she always had. “I think that... when you’re mean like that, it’s just pretend,” Clementine giggled. “Say what you want, you’ve only been nice to me since I got here.” 

“And… I guess you’re my only friend. Right now.”

It stung a little just saying it. Wasn’t that sad. “Friends support each other.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

If it’d been the other way around, Lydia was convinced that she’d never **ever** let the girl within fifty feet of her, let alone speak to her again. Unlike everyone else, Clementine hadn’t tucked tail and run, which was fucking mind-boggling to Lydia.

She’d already seen her fair share of crazy outside of those walls, so maybe the crap she saw inside didn’t phase her as much as the other sheltered kids, which was… refreshing, honestly.

Didn’t change the fact that Clementine still didn’t know everything about her, what fucked up stuff was going through her mind on the daily. She couldn’t help but wonder what the other girl would think if she knew the truth about Dwight’s disappearance, because that’s what Lydia was truly capable of when pushed into a corner. Maybe even worse.

Should she say it, too? Her initial thought was… _fuck it_ , wasn’t like Clementine had anyone else to tell right now, anyway.

“It’s been a while since… I — made a friend.” Way longer than a while, truth be told, so this felt new. She crossed her legs now, mirroring the position of her friend. An intrigued look in her eyes, to say the least. “Just warning you. I’m not the best at it, so… I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

**Art [Clementine]**

That… was a pretty funny way to reciprocate. Lydia _was_ pretty funny. “You kiddin’? Know it too well,” she overstated, pointing to one eye with a smile on her lips.

“Seriously. I’m your friend. I’m happy to _be_ your friend. So don’t sweat it.”

Clementine gave it some thought, staring at the ceiling while her head bobbed from side to side. Her eyes darted back to Lydia. “Just don’t call me names again.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Her answer helped ease the nerves, or at the very least it made Lydia feel a tad more comfortable to be in her presence.

“I won’t... “ She reassured, a semblance of guilt in her eyes. _Unless you piss me off again_ _…_ Lydia’s mind traversed through all the times she called Clem something nasty, or thought about saying something rotten. It was too many to count, but it was also nice to know that the other girl was willing to put it behind them.

“You answered the questions. So, I’m keeping my end of the bargain.”

This was gonna be bad, but she was hoping Clementine would show _some_ mercy with the aforementioned punishment.

“Welp. Fuck me up.” Lydia smiled, all the while dreading to see what she’d do.

**Art [Clementine]**

All that doughy stuff aside, _this_ is what Clem had really been looking for. The girl stood up at Lydia’s signal, stomping her bare feet in excitement. “Awesome.”

 _Clothes, clothes, clothes._ The first thing to do was find some. Not the ones Lyd kept in her closet, not those. Clementine was looking for the real finds: junk from the old owners. Where the apartment was at its most untouched, Clem dug tirelessly, peeking through every corner. There wasn’t much, for sure. But when Clem was so close to giving up... “Lucky day!” She roared from across the room. 

Out came Clementine with two items of folded clothing in her arms. On the left, Clem held a dark blazer and a bowtie, typical gala type thing, and as boyish as could be… but instead of bringing slacks, she had a pair of shorts. At least the colors matched.

On the right, the gaudiest prom dress, red as wine. This one was _actually_ pretty, even though it showed a little much. She could almost picture the girl who got it, saving it for a special night that hadn’t come. It sort of hurt to see a plastic around it. “Take your pick. To make it fair, whatever you choose, I gotta wear the other one.”

“C’mon. Ready for the ball or what?”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia stood up, lazily dragging her feet along the carpet, following Clementine like a fussy child that would rather be anywhere else.

She was okay, everything was going fine. Up until she saw the two costumes that were pulled out. That was when she froze in panic. Eyes bulging out in horror at the revealing outfits. So swept up in that game, it made her forget. Now she felt like a complete idiot for agreeing to these conditions. Her heart raced, thinking of something she could say to save face… without ruining the fun.

“Just — one second.” The flustered girl darted past Clem, not giving her a chance to respond as she made her way to the same place the other girl was digging around. _There was one in here, wasn_ _’t there…? Yes!_

She found it, another white collared shirt that would match with the blue overalls just fine. Under different circumstances, she would’ve taken the dress in a heartbeat, really wished she could.

“Hey, I pick the boy outfit.” She turned back to Clementine, showing her the new piece of clothing in her hands.

“But I’d rather wear _this_ shirt under it, more my style.”

She held her breath, hoping Clementine wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

_“Okay?”_

**Art [Clementine]**

“Makes no difference to me, Blonde.” Clementine shrugged. Would’ve been a big lie saying she saw her choice coming, honestly. Did the dress look _that_ excessive? Her lips pursed just a tad bit more, looking at it with her round, curious eyes. It didn’t last long, since the nervousness made her chuckle. “I’ll go change.”

It slipped right onto her shoulders, almost like it’d been sown just for her. You could tell it wasn’t, though. For one, the owner was a _lot_ taller. The skirt brushed past her knees, though it probably shouldn’t have been. Not to mention it kinda felt a little tight around the waist. 

As… freaking silly as she looked, deal was a deal and she wasn’t one for backing out. _I look cute,_ Clem decided. 

She left the bathroom as confident as she could, upright and beaming — if you could forgive the blushing. “How do I look?” The question drained all of that courage away, sudden as it left her. Clementine held her own hand, tying one set of fingers over the other… pressing both lips together.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia could only stand frozen, boots planted firmly on the carpet as she watched Clementine emerge from the bathroom, looking just about ready for one of those Jackson soirées they used to throw. _The ones you never went to_ _…_

“ _Hmmm._ ” She placed her index finger and thumb to her cheeks, squinting with a cheeky smile. Deliberately, she was dragging out her answer, only because it was funny to see the other girl squirm. The judge was in the midst of making her decision. This silly game _was_ kinda fun, though she was sure her opinion on this would soon change when it was her turn to get into the tuxedo thingy.

“Elegant.” Lydia finally decided, which was the truth, from her point of view. “Throw some earrings on, and you _might_ even look better in it than I would.” She teased.

Lydia thought Clementine already did, she just didn’t want to admit it.

**Art [Clementine]**

Was that the first time Lydia complimented her? Might’ve even said she looked pretty, if you squinted a bit. Clementine showed off her teeth again and crossed her arms, covering herself. “Y’know what? Thanks.” In her own clumsy way, Clem walked up to Lydia like she was parading on a catwalk, spinning around once, and falling to a giggle. _Elegant, really? It_ _’s all downhill from here, isn’t it?_

“Earrings,” Clem echoed, amused if nothing else. “Maybe I’ll take you up on it, if you think I look so good.” She was poking at the beehive with that one, flashing daring smiles. It was like that stupid _rich-kid_ dress was giving her some confidence, some way or other. Who knew.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_So this is what you_ _’re really like? Huh…_

Lydia fought the urge to roll her eyes, yet laugh all the same as Clementine pranced around like an idiot. On first impression, she never would’ve pieced it together, this mushy side of hers. It was... jarring to see.

“Okay, _Princess Clementine,_ let’s not get carried away.” She chuckled, unwilling to let the other girl poke fun at her… compliment, she supposed. “Be right back.”

She shut the door behind her, tiptoeing across the tiles to avoid any wet patches on the floor from Clem’s prior shower. The outfit fitted on pretty easy, since the previous owner was clearly a few sizes above her. In comparison to what she usually wore, it felt like cold cardboard against her skin, which wasn’t the most pleasant feeling. After fiddling with what felt like a million buttons, she was done. Though, not once had she looked at herself in the mirror.

Reluctantly so, Lydia emerged from the bathroom, walking in the oddest of postures with her arms outstretched, as if her body instinctively wanted to get out of the costume. “This is so retarded…” Not to mention it was even _more_ embarrassing. She probably looked ridiculous in this thing, and any second now Clementine would burst out into laughter.

“Can I take back everything I said before? I hate you again.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Despite covering her mouth, Clementine laughed like a wild hyena. “You look like a little boy,” she uttered through her fingers, and the thought only made her laugh all the louder. That night was totally worth it. _Maybe_ it was as close as she was _ever_ coming to getting back at Lydia. Had only Clem not worked so hard to make friends… she might’ve come up with some more colorful taunts. “I’m sorry,” Clementine instead apologized, even if through a mocking smile. “Don’t be mad.”

Seeing as it was important to avoid being killed in her sleep, Clem tried to come up with a compliment to go along with the teasing. She scratched her nose and stared at nowhere in particular, forcing out words. “I think — I think you look attractive. In that.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Dressed like this, she was certain no one would even touch her with a ten foot pole. Clementine’s laugh was contagious though, and Lydia did her best to try and hold hers back. Still smiling, she rolled her eyes, waiting for the chuckling to subside.

 _Is she kidding? I look ridiculous._ Lydia didn’t know if she was calling her attractive just to be nice, but it was the perfect opportunity to get back at her. If Clementine was so eager to ride off of Lydia’s compliments before, then she might as well do the same, times ten.

“Woah, what was that?” The blonde swayed her weight onto one foot, crossing her arms as she tossed the girl a quirky glance. “Is the Princess trying to seduce me?” Lydia squinted.

**Art [Clementine]**

She’d caught her like a little fish. And, gosh, Clementine looked like one, fighting to breathe above the surface. “No, I’m not!” She looked so pale, the red in her face turned pink. The dress, at least, was matching something other than her socks. “Take it back,” the girl said, squinting back at Lydia. For once, she was unamused.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

She didn’t laugh it off, at least that would’ve been the expected reaction. Instead, she got… defensive? That was a weird way to respond to what Lydia considered to be a harmless joke, or mistake apparently, according to Clementine.

_Why is she so red?_

Was it true, then? At the very least, it might’ve been an indication of what she’d already heard… and suspected.

“Okay then…” Lydia uncrossed her arms, the playful aura having left her eyes, slight offense taken. The girl was unsure how to retort this time without making it more awkward, just about ready to shrink back into the shell she’d emerged from. It was a miracle that she’d gone this long already.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clem was unconvinced. She shrunk, too. Folding one arm, brows knitted. “Okay ‘ _you_ _’ll take it back_ ’ or okay ‘ _I_ _’m a liar?_ ’”

She knew how dumb it was, to keep it a secret. _Especially now._ But like a bunch other things, Clementine was too nervous to admit that she liked girls the same as boys. Lydia wouldn’t get it — or she’d call her freaky. Clem was sure of it.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Take it how you want.” For a split second, the old Lydia was back, tone spitting venom again, though she instantly regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth. It felt like a stalemate of awkwardness, that was the best way she could put it. An impasse that’d only let up after one of them broke the ice. Evidently, it looked like they were both equally as awkward.

“I mucked up the game… didn’t I?” She asked, guilt in her voice, gaze shifting to the carpet. _See what happens when you get overexcited? You say stupid things._

**Art [Clementine]**

Funny to hear Lydia say it, because Clementine felt the same way. “No, no, that’s—” …All she could get out before the air in the room caught her in a chokehold.

Why did she have to say it like that? Of all the _thousands_ of words in the dictionary — _attractive?_ How could Lydia _not_ think she was freaky? “Sorry,” Clem apologized, nervous and scared out of her mind. Maybe she could shrug it off, but how could she? It was so embarrassing. She’d just admitted to _it_. Out loud.

“I...”

 _I wasn_ _’t trying to seduce you!_

 _No! I don_ _’t like you! Not like that. Just that… I mean, if you wanted to…_

 _I just meant that you_ _’re really pretty. That’s totally normal. Lots of girls are pretty._

_I think boys are pretty too._

“…had more fun today than I had in months. Don’t worry.” Clementine smiled confidently, shrugging it off.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_Just_ _… bury it._

In hindsight, getting touchy over small comments was in no way, shape, or form something Lydia had the right to give Clem shit about, even if she wanted to. Knowing she was no different herself, it’d just make her the biggest hypocrite ever.

Yet, as odd as the two of them could be, they’d managed to have a good time for a while there, which was… _something._ Lydia felt the same, when it came to the most fun she’d had in ages, too.

“Well, I’ll admit you _can_ be more fun than ya typical, unbearably snobby, every day Jackson kid.” _Or should we call them Savior kids now?_ Lydia said, whilst awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. Clementine was willing to try and salvage the moment, so the blonde would play along too.

“So, you’re forgiven.” Lydia smiled back, accepting her apology, finally bringing herself to look at the other girl in the face again. There was a small pause, before she remembered what Clementine was making her wear, and for how long. _Already too long._

“I think I wanna get out of these clothes now, we’ve suffered enough.”

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

“You didn’t tell me you had a fire pit back here,” Ellie beamed the instant Kat had taken her into her backyard. “I would’ve bought marshmallows a _long_ fucking time ago!”

It was another one of those nights. The ones where she’d slip out of the house after the cover of dark to hang out with her friend again, where no one could see them. No Lydias… just some weed and a heaping sum of carefree spirit. The stuff that made hanging out with Kat a need these days, when life grew grim and fun became a thing of the past.

As soon as Ellie heard about Kat’s fire pit, though, she knew exactly what to do. A pack of beer (stolen from the fridge at home), a bag of marshmallows, and a guitar later, they were set to have a great, if chilly, night.

And, with one look towards the sky, she knew that no other night would be like this. “And, _damn_ , look at all the stars you can see out here. It’s always so bright by my place.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

“Hey, I can’t give away _all_ my secrets at once.” There was this little laugh Kat seemed to let out at the expense of their excitement, however it wasn’t the mean spirited one she’d do if she watched someone trip, or when she’d pelt her friends with the hundredth snowball that day. This one was quiet, almost unhearing to ears that didn’t deserve it. Sweet. Almost as if it wasn’t so much as meant to be a laugh, more it being the only physical sound she can make in response to how cute she found her friend’s excitement towards something as simple as a firepit that barely took time to fix.

Katrina had took up following behind Ellie, allowing her to get a feel for the area herself while she carried in the firewood she collected earlier that week. As comments of the night sky were said, Kat took to lighting the pit. It’d be a lie to say it was difficult, and it’d be even more so to say she enjoyed using matches to do so. However, safety first and all that... bullshit.

As the fire crackled and burned, the air around it finally felt warm, enough for Kat to abandon her jacket and leave it tied around her waist. Seats surrounded the fire, some comfortable… some not so much. However, for Kat, she tended to enjoy taking a seat on the ground, just close enough to the fire that she could feel wisps gently kiss her face. “It pays to live on the edge of town. Much nicer sky. More company than the rest.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“Yeah, for sure,” Ellie had said, astonished almost to the point of speechlessness. She sat down in a chair, leaning her guitar against it while holding the bag of marshmallows in her hands, crinkling the bag idly. The fire finally made her put it down to reach out her hands, thankful for the warmth.

“The more I live near downtown, the more I realize how nice it is out here,” she continued, trying not to let awkwardness settle into her voice. “Less people. Which means less shit opinions you gotta hear. Ever listen to Seth rant about how the youth are ruining this town? You’d want to rip your ears off.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

“Yeah, because it’s _totally_ young people and not the walking bags of misery outside the walls that are causing the issues.” She spoke with a gentle laugh to back it up, her head resting gently on her knees. This was comfort. It was warm, she had her friend by her side, and here no one can tell her off for a title she didn’t even want. Here, she can be happy, for just a moment, and no one could take it away from her. Not in her house.

As Kat’s laughter died down, she allowed herself to settle back into the grass behind her, gaze now focused on the night sky once more. “Why don’t you move? Not too many people begging for places around here... and it beats walking through midtown if I want to pick you up for a talk. It’d all just be more... convenient, I guess.”

She was looking around for something in the collection of stars. Her eyes were full, dancing around as if two orbs were attempting to locate a place to land. Her search only occasionally interrupted to look to Ellie, a simple acknowledgement that she was still listening to the conversation.

What could she possibly find up there, anyway? One will have to wait and see.

**Dot [Ellie]**

“I’ve thought about it,” Ellie admitted, shrugging her shoulders in defeat. “I don’t know if Joel’d like that. I’ve been nagging him about the cabin in the backyard. Seems livable enough. Would feel nice to have my _own_ place.”

But, that was a pipe dream, right? Ever since the Fireflies, and especially ever since that last bloater, all Joel seemed to do was keep an eye on her. _Bet he_ _’s real happy Tripp took me off the scavenging team. Now I can’t leave the walls._

And, with a hint of a snort, she turned towards Kat, pulling out a beer from the box placed between them. “Hey Kat, looking for a roommate?” The can opened with a satisfying _tschk_ , leaving Ellie to curse as foam started to pour out.

 _Damn it_ _…!_ She guzzled what she could, trying to keep it from soaking her pants. _Knew carrying all this shit was a bad idea._

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

“As fun as that’d be, I only have one bed, and I don’t think ya like me that much.” There was a hint of teasing in her tone as she looked over. Kat offered as much as a single wink before looking away, her hand idly finding its way to her pocket to pull out a pre-rolled blunt. As her search came to its close, she sat up once again, lighting her choice of smoke for the night in her hands. The long drag she took, followed quickly by the puff of smoke she exhaled was the start of shaking off the day’s issues.

“Maybe he’ll back off eventually. He can only be overprotective for so long before it bites him back. Just be honest when necessary and it’ll be fine.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie would nod if she wasn’t choking down terrible beer, but it was nice to hear all the same. She appreciated Joel, don’t get her wrong, it’s just that sometimes she wished she had more… freedom. They’d spent so long out on the road. She’s practically had to be an adult her whole life. Why can’t he treat her like one now?

“Still would rather deal with him than Seth,” Ellie said, smiling all the same. “But I think you’re missin’ one little detail about your ole shack out in the boonies.”

A toothy grin stretched her lips.

“Your couch isn’t so bad.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

“My couch _is_ pretty nice. Tell ya what, in the future, if you need a place to crash, you’re welcome to borrow it. However, I will not be apologizing for the smell of weed in my house, we’re a package deal. Frankly, the very thought of it smelling of anything else feels like a crime.” Finishing her rather dramatically said sentence, she took another hit from her joint, passing it off towards Ellie just so she could take a stand and stretch out the day’s worries from her back.

Today had been especially long, a lot of shit being prepared for a trip she didn’t want to take. A break from this place would be nice though. Anything to escape cruel words from people she barely knew. That don’t know her. Just her, a horse, and Carl... whoever that was. Kat eventually took a seat again, this time directly next to the chair Ellie had claimed just so she could lean her head on the armrest. “So, what have I missed in the Magical Land of Ellie, huh?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie accepted the joint, taking a drag as she settled into her chair. Honestly, there wasn’t much to talk about in her life. One of the worst cons of being ‘grounded’ to staying within the walls.

“Well, I learned how to deal with the flu. Fascinating stuff, right?” She let out a dry chuckle as she passed back the joint. “Turns out, it’s very hard to deal with in the apocalypse. Whaddya know?”

“It’s not so bad,” she continued, a bit more serious. “I mean, I owe Eleanor a lot for taking me in after Tripp took me off the team. I could still be in classes with Lydia right now.”

“What about you?” She asked, glancing towards the girl next to her, chuckling. “Should I even ask?” A lot of Kat’s stories about work usually tend to end with how shitty Jackson folks are to her. Usually made her want to go find one and punch them in the throat.

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

Immediately, the girl let out an over exaggerated groan, taking a long drag from the joint. As she breathed out, her face was buried into the arm of the chair, muffled swears coming from her before she flipped her head over to actually respond to her friend’s question. “I did _so much work_.”

Her blue eyes burned into Ellie’s, exhaustion understandably clinging to the bags under them. “It was mainly prep work today. Getting used to the horse I have to borrow, packing a bit of supplies to survive the trip… One I don’t wanna take, mind you. I’m going on quite the supply run with this guy named Carl. Never met him, and now I’m going to be stuck on the road with him. Ellie, I don’t want to go, please put me out of my misery.” As she spoke, Kat made a motion with her fingers, mimicking a gunshot to her temple.

She had nothing against whoever the fuck Carl is, but that didn’t mean she wanted to stay over night anywhere with a man she didn’t know. The most she knew was that he’s around her age, which was only slightly comforting. Why couldn’t they send any other Savior? Avalia? Victor? Either of them would love a break from Jackson. They get the same amount of shit she does, and Vic, the poor guy, gets into more fights than should be allowed… none of which he starts surprisingly. Man didn’t even really like Kat because of Ava, and he still found himself venting to her some evening. It’s a mystery why the three of them haven’t just skipped town by now.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The news took her by surprise. Kat was going on a supply run? For how long? With Carl? This smelled like some Tripp bullshit. And why did her friend leaving town for who knows how long feel like twisting a knife? She was more than capable of being on her own for a while. She did it all the time, nowadays.

But knowing that she had someone to confide in gave her comfort. Made the days easier. Having that be gone for a while…

 _Goddamn it, I_ _’m hopeless._ Despite that, she took in a deep breath, forcing herself to think. Only one option presented itself. The only one that felt like a solution.

“I could ask Tripp if I can go too, if you want. I was one of his best, even if he won’t admit it. And you don’t have to go alone.” She paused. “Plus, I know Carl. He’s not so bad.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

The corners of Kat’s lips curled into a smile as Ellie rambled on excuses to follow allowed. Endearing is the word she’d openly use for it. “Aw, you can’t even let me go for a few days? You must really like me, E.” The girl laughed, scuffing out the remainder of her joint on the bottom of her boot.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you may even love me. Do you love your little friend?” The amount of teasing in her voice was enough to signify it was a joke, and probably a lot of it had to do with discarded joint she tossed in the firepit. Yet still, she laughed and teased nonetheless.

“I’d greatly appreciate the company, because frankly I don’t like being trapped with strangers. So, thank you for the offer. I hope you can come.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie snorted, shaking her head. “In your dreams.” Still, the joke got her to forget about the worries of the day. Kat tended to have that effect.

“Don’t worry, Tripp’s a real pushover. I’ll see you at the gate bright and early. With coffee, if I can steal some from Joel.” Late nights and early mornings don’t mix.

Grabbing her guitar, she plucked a few strings, getting a rhythm going. Soon, it’d be time to dig into the sickly sweet goodness of marshmallows, but until then, this was sweet enough.

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

Kat’s smile ultimately softened as the gentle sounds of music faded in, her body instinctively backing up to give them room to play. Her arms wrapped carefully around her knees, eyes glued to the girl whose fingers danced so effortlessly across the strings. Kat never understood how anyone could learn to play the guitar. So many chords to memorize, and the world already gave you plenty of callouses. Her house came with a small guitar, less strings than the one Ellie had. She’d never been interested in learning to use it personally, but perhaps it will do well with them rather than on her wall for decoration. She’ll have to think about it.

The only instrument she had any experience with — and it’s not much at that, is the piano. She remembered those days fondly, her friend trying to guide her fingers over each key to play the simplest of songs. She never did learn how to play it past the chorus, and she argued she might not even remember how it went. Not like there were that many pianos just laying around that weren’t destroyed. Who knows, maybe she’ll be able to learn again someday.

Katrina’s mind wandered back to reality, head shaking slightly as if she had no other way to force away the memory. However, despite no longer thinking of it, the feeling still lingered.

How nice is that?

**Dot [Ellie]**

Soft and sweet. Slow and atmospheric. She always liked this tune. Ellie took in a deep breath.

“ _I feel so extrordinary. Something_ _’s got a hold on me…_ ”

And as quickly as the singing started, it faded away, voice cracks and all. Nervousness that snuck up on her like a stalker.

All Ellie could do was put on a brave face, casting small glances towards her friend nearby. “Sorry… not used to having an audience.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

“Shit, uh—” Katrina’s smile remained despite the sudden second-hand embarrassment, her hand hiding her face as she held back laughter.

“That’s my bad for staring — Would it be better if... maybe I didn’t look?” Kat’s eyes peeked through her fingers for a moment, head resting on her knees. She was ready to hide it if it helped, or completely ditch music if it meant making them comfortable. “Or, whatever’s easiest for you! Obviously I’m not about to force you to play if you’re too nervous to!”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie returned the smile, shaking her head. “No, it’s okay. I promise.” Playing those first few chords again, she picked back up right at the beginning, continuing on with as much courage as she could spare.

“ _I get this feeling I_ _’m in motion. A certain sense of liberty. I don’t care ‘cause I’m not there. And I don’t care if I’m here tomorrow. Again and again, I’ve taken too much. Of the things that cost you too much…_ ”

The chorus came and went, while soft crackles of flames and distant chirping of crickets filled the air with its own music. By the time she’d finished, it was all that was left.

For a second, it seemed like nothing could pull her out of her reverie.

Until she laughed.

“You have _no idea_ how much time I spent learning that.”

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

Kat had always enjoyed music. There was the kind she heard around her house growing up — records that somehow survived despite everything going on — then there was the bit she had now. Songs she practically memorized all the lyrics to with how often she played them. How she hadn’t just burned holes into the cassette, she’ll never know.

However this was different.

She couldn’t explain it, really, she tried to justify any of this with some sort of explanation as to how it felt, but nothing came to mind. Nothing logical anyway. She was fine moments before, a perfectly normal hang out with her friend. There were no strings attached, just, peace. The sudden tightness in her throat didn’t make any sense. It was just a song, one that meant nothing to her. She had never even heard it before — making the reaction she had even more confusing. Katrina felt warm, self conscious even. It was as if hundreds of pairs of eyes stared at her in her friend’s single gaze. It was Ellie’s laugh that finally dragged her back into reality, the previous confusion replaced with slight embarrassment. No offense to her friend, but she still had some practice to go — by no means does that make her bad... so why did that feel so weird?

“Practice is paying off, E. Sounded pretty good.” She was playing it cool to the best of her ability, officially way too sober for this evening. For fuck’s sake, she needs a break. Can’t she get one normal night?

“You’ll have to teach me how to sing like that some time. I definitely have a thing or two to learn.” It was probably best she not mention anything, for who the hell knew what was going on. Maybe she just liked the song more than she thought, she’ll have to figure out where Ellie learned it so she can read the lyrics... or... something — That’s likely the issue. Her soul resonated with it, nothing else.

This was a perfectly normal night with her friend. Nothing else.

Nothing.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie responded to the compliment by trying to brush some hair out of her face, smiling faintly. “It’s a date, then. Just don’t expect me to be able to teach you guitar or anything.” She let out a nervous laugh, putting the guitar down on the opposite side of her chair from where Kat was.

**Vi-ntage [Kat]**

If there was one thing Kat was thankful for it was the fact it was night time. The soft glow of the fire wasn’t enough to make how red her face had gotten at Ellie’s comment apparent. A date, something she obviously knew was a joke. Ellie was her friend, and friends do not go on dates... as far as she’s aware anyway. She doesn’t have many friends, this could be a thing and she’s completely clueless.

“Definitely. No need teach me that. I uh — Don’t need to mess my hands up anyway. Can’t make art if I did that, you know?” That was a lie. When the fuck did she start lying?

This whole situation got weird, something she never really expected to happen when all they were fucking doing was what they normally do when they hang out. Maybe it was the change in the weather, or a moon cycle had passed? Full moons make people feel weird, right? Looking up to the sky for just a moment, she was met with a waning gibbous — which was definitely not a full moon. A sign some may know as time to let go of everything that caused one strife. However, she couldn’t just let go of this. Kat visibly deflated, eyes still lingering on the stars above.

She needed answers, help from someone who knew the reasoning for feelings. Katrina needed her dad to tell her it was going to be fine, and that all of this was going to be just a pleasant memory some day. She needed him to hold her, squeeze her, and never let go. She needed Malachi to explain everything in a way that made sense, tell her what she could do to fix it. Tell her it’s okay.

“When are you going to give me a sign that you’re listening—” Kat mumbled to herself for a moment, eyes practically burning into the sky above in search of answers. Anything to tell her how she was stupid enough to let herself fall for someone she can’t have again. Why now? What was the point of hurting her further?

The universe was a fucking bitch.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie could only smile back, looking forward to it. Not every day you got to be the teacher instead. But, for now, she’d just kick back and relax, before the real test began.

Dealing with Tripp in the morning. Leaving the walls again.

But with Kat there, it’d be more than endurable. Just her, Carl, and Kat on the road together. Sounded like a goddamned road trip to her.

Until then, she’d roast some marshmallows and enjoy the rest of the night. The way nights should always be.


	8. The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2021 everyone! Got a good one for you guys today, and there might be a multi-chapter release next week if I can get all the editing done on time. Things are really gonna start ramping up this year :)

_9:17 AM — October 2, 2026_

**Dot [Ellie]**

Navigating through the streets of Jackson on horseback was a challenge in itself, and Ellie tried to politely excuse herself as she made her way towards the gates. More than a few angry replies were thrown her way, but she chose to ignore them. Better to just get moving, before it was too late.

She knew that late nights and early mornings didn’t mix. At least demanding to go along on Kat’s trip had eventually proved successful, even if it did take a little convincing. After all, it was a slow week in the infirmary, and besides the tattoo that was still healing, she was no worse for wear. They needed her out there.

Arriving at the gates, several other riders awaited release from the town, the first one that Ellie noticed being Kat, who she waved to, a smile on her face. That was, until she noticed who else was there. Beside Carl, Lydia rode her own horse, that sheriff hat she liked to wear casting a shadow over her face in the morning light. Though, as much as her heart jumped at the thought of going on this thing with _Lydia_ , the next face she recognized had her stopping her horse in his tracks.

Voice raspy, shock written into her wide-eyed expression, she found herself stuttering the girl’s name. “C—Clementine?”

This time, she had to be hallucinating, right? There’s no fucking way that was Clementine there, on that horse across the way, _in_ Jackson. _No fucking way._

**Art [Clementine]**

She didn’t know what to do but wait, so she did. Not that it was any easy; sticking around town any longer than she had to was out of the question. Clementine wore her old ‘88’ jersey, and kept her head down low so as to keep the sun away. She didn’t bother talking to anyone, neither.

When Ellie showed from within the crowd, she couldn’t find the strength to be surprised. Her eyes gleamed with sadness, though no other person could see. Clem could only face away, grasping at the reins of her horse. “I’m going on ahead,” she said, to no one and everyone.

**Dot [Ellie]**

She could still turn back, Ellie knew that. Yet, even as Clementine slipped through the gate, not even looking in her direction, Ellie still urged her horse forward, in between Carl and Kat. Another stupid thing to add to her stupid list. Like it or not, she still had something to say to her old friend, assuming Clementine would ever let her get close enough to talk to her on this little journey of theirs. She had her doubts.

Sighing, clutching the reins tightly, she spoke up in a defeated voice. “Let’s just go.” With a gesture of the reins, her horse cantered forward, out the gates. She kept him going slow enough to never catch up with Clementine.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

A ride along mission with a bunch of teens. Which bright mind in Jackson chose this sorry bunch, and then let even more teens come along with all the drama they carry? She was happy to see Ellie, and she had absolutely no opinion on Carl. She heard shit things about Lydia, and Clementine was Ellie’s ex… possibly, and Kat knew a thing or two about exes. She watched the small exchange unfold as Clem took her leave. Kat was about to speak up and mention who was supposed to be running this trainwreck, but Ellie began moving off as well. This was fine, so long as everyone stayed together, which she was about to go over in her little plan. She’ll just… save it for camp—

“Well, you heard her. Let’s get going, and we might just find a decently place to stay tonight.” She told the two still there, her voice anything but stern. Her horse moved forward at a gallop, her eyes seeming to look down at its hooves a few times before she ended up by Ellie’s side. “You, uh… excited for the trip? You seemed pretty… you know, happy about it before we all set out.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Her Scottish friend found her way to her side, and Ellie busied herself by scratching at the reins with her fingernails. At least one thing about this trip wasn’t _horrible_. Glancing towards Kat as they passed through the field separating Jackson from the nearby forest, Ellie took in a deep breath, bracing herself.

“I didn’t know Clementine was here. Or coming with us.” She said, biting her lip. “I figured it was just you and Carl. Guessing Lydia and Clem were late additions.” She wouldn’t get into how weird it was that Clem had shown up at all. Maybe she’d made some kind of deal with Tripp, as much as she didn’t see that ever happening. She had a feeling the baseball-capped girl wouldn’t be here otherwise. Probably just another step in her journey to Salt Lake.

“I was kinda vague about it before,” Ellie continued, “I didn’t want to bother you with it, but… I said some things I regret to her. She probably hates me.” _Probably? Pfft. Definitely. I hate myself, too._ “Not that I don’t deserve it,” she finished, quieter.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“We all say shitty things. It’s up to the other person to choose whether or not they forgive you… and you have the choice to forgive yourself, too. And, I don’t know the situation —at all —but are you sure she didn’t say anything either? An argument is a two person tango. She might not be all innocent either, and if that’s the case, why beat yourself up over it when you both could, possibly, be at fault?” As she spoke, she leaned a bit forward, resting a hand against the horse’s neck to gently pet it.

How was it that Kat always ended up a therapist? Who knows, but it seemed like this group hella needed someone to vent their shit to. Kat’s gaze shifted up to the ball-capped girl, her eyes narrowing before turning back to Ellie with a softer expression. She’ll have a talk with Clem a little later. Meet this so called girl of the hour… ‘cause let’s face it, everyone was seeming just a bit on edge with her around.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The faint breeze shivered her, but her new tattoo kept her from wearing a hoodie for the time being, so she’d just have to deal with it. There were worse things to deal with than the cold.

“She wants to leave. Find her parents. She didn’t tell me that, but… it’s obvious. I just didn’t want to see it before. I’d just gotten her back.” The trail led onward, deeper into the forest. It only grew colder once the sun could no longer reach them. “I got angry. She snapped back, and I couldn’t take any more. Told her ‘fuck you’, and left. Took me a while to realize that she needs to go, and I’m just holding her back.”

Another sigh escaped her lips. “She needs to know what happened to her parents. I shouldn’t’ve tried to take that from her. Forgiveness can come later. If she ever comes back.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat shook her head, her hands moving the reins down to let the horse move forward on its own for a moment. As she spoke, mainly just to keep the girl focused on something, she began popping the buttons on her coat. “You got caught up in the moment. I get it. Both of you are at fault for something here. Her leaving without giving you that chance to properly say goodbye was fucked, and she left you in shambles. But, you trying to make her come back before she was ready was also fucked.”

“You both deserve to be upset with each other, but you should be learning to be less upset with yourselves. Remember what I said? Dwelling on the past makes your rock heavier. And Ellie… yours looks about ready to drown you.”

She flickered her gaze up to the girl once her coat was off. She then rolled her eyes, leaning over to drape it over her shoulders. It was big, that’s for sure. Military-grade, probably a fucking trenchcoat with how long it was. It was covered in a few cool patches and several pins. Either she’d found it that way, or somehow collected them. Either way, made for a good coat. Under that coat, apparently she only wore a muscle shirt, cause who said Kat knew how to dress appropriately.

“Also, if you freeze, I have to worry about finding someone new to talk to. So… not letting that happen, E.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

The coat was draped over her shoulders, and Ellie let go of the reins to slip her arms into its sleeves, trying to ignore the irritation it caused on her healing skin. “Thanks,” she said warmly, smiling for a moment. She eventually let it go, just as much as she was ready to let this whole situation with her and Clementine go.

Hands back on the reins, she continued in a calmer voice, “I’ll be fine, I promise. Just the initial shock. C’mon, we should pick up the pace. No telling how long it’ll take to get out of these mountains. Better to make camp beyond ‘em.”

With that, she coaxed her horse into a light trot, following the trail deeper into the valley.

* * *

**Art [Clementine]**

The wind passed by her ears making dreadful sharp sounds. Clem wasn’t about to miss the heat from earlier, but a glimpse of the sun would do them all some good. Tripp’s horse was getting restless. _I don_ _’t like rain either, girl._

She stuck close to Lydia, _all_ the time. It made the whole trip easier to brave through. ‘Least... ‘least Ellie strayed clear, that way. Clementine felt scared of her in a way she hadn’t felt before. Words like ‘selfish’ and ‘bad friend’, that rung like thunder. Clem didn’t want to hear those again. Clem didn’t even know if she loved her anymore.

With a storm on the horizon, she let the rest decide how to approach it. Her, she’d rather drown in it.

**Dot [Ellie]**

By the time the sun had reached its peak, and aptly obscured by clouds as a storm brewed in the distance, Ellie found herself deciding that Tripp allowed her to go on this thing purely to spite her. Silent for most of their trip so far, she feared speaking up. She feared incurring Lydia’s wrath — and Clementine’s — though she found herself doubting that the ball-capped girl would even acknowledge her anyway. She wasn’t sure which was worse.

They still weren’t out of the mountains yet, but they were getting close. The forests had given way to grassy fields, flanked on either side by huge peaks already covered in snow. ‘Least down here, they still had awhile longer before _that_ kicked in.

Ellie kept a respectful distance from the rest of the group, preferring to take in the world around her. A small stream here, massive fucking mountains everywhere… at least Jackson wasn’t dull. She’d found herself looking towards Clem a few times, but never more than a few seconds. That’s all it took for the anxiety to kick in. She hated it.

As the storm loomed ever closer, Ellie frowned, scanning the horizon as she maneuvered her horse beside Kat’s. “Not a lot of shelter around here.” She unzipped Kat’s jacket, handing it back to her. She’d grab her own hoodie in a minute. “Too bad we’re past the ranch. Would’ve been nice to not get soaked through.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“We should be fine if we can find a patch with enough overhang. But, considering the storm — and the fact the poor horse here isn’t having this atmosphere — we’re going to have a rough night. Definitely one that probably won’t have a fire. We should have waited another day before heading out… not that any of us saw a storm coming…” she said, happy to slip her jacket back on and bundle up, her hand running along the horse’s fur to try and calm it down. Last thing she wanted was to be thrown off.

Now, unlike most people, Kat enjoyed the wilderness. It was quiet, save for a few infected, plus everything seemed really… private. You can just be out here with your thoughts and let it all go. Except now, surrounded by four other teenagers. That isn’t happening. “We’ll find something.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“Something tells me that Tripp wanted Clem gone as soon as he could, anyway,” Ellie mused, frowning. _Asshole._ Taking the time to take her backpack off, cradling it between her legs, she slipped her hoodie on, returning the backpack to its rightful place.

“We’re beyond the usual patrol routes. Got no idea what’s out here. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“It’s not the worst out here. Minus the storm, I’d say it’s borderline peaceful. No infected, yet. No one in your face yelling about how much you aren’t supposed to be in the community. It’s a break, despite having a basic goal in mind. I’d even be inclined to say I prefer this over Jackson. At least, right now.” Kat looked over to the girl, shrugging as she continued to calmly pet her horse. The closer to the storm, the more uneasy she and her large companion felt. She was so tired of everything going wrong.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie shifted in her saddle as they continued down the path through the valley, keeping a respectable distance from the others. At Kat’s words, Ellie frowned. “I wouldn’t hold your breath for that. Lydia has a way of telling you how she really feels. Only a matter of time.”

Her horse grew just as agitated as Kat’s, leading to Ellie trying to calm it down. Through the corner of her eye, she continued, “I’m worried about this journey. Can’t have this much tension in a group without something blowing up, eventually.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“If it blows up, and it probably will… I’ll, uh… I’ll still be here, you know? At least, I’ll try to be. I’ve lived with assholes my entire life, I’m used to a bit of yelling, fighting, and overall unpleasantness. I think we all just need to relax, find a good place to set up for the night, and get some sleep. The tension will hopefully die down if we give it a good shot at an icebreaker. We’ll be f—” Kat was cut off as her horse began to freak, his neighing seeming to slow as Kat pulled back on the reins. She hushed the animal, thankful to still be on it as she relaxed. “Fine —We’ll be… fine — Once we get out of this fuckin’ weather.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

That didn’t make her feel much better, but what could they do? Lydia hated her guts, and Clementine didn’t seem to want to even look at her, so Carl was their only friendly face, and she doubted he’d even talk to them in fear of what Lydia might do. Fan-fucking-tastic group.

“Looks like that forest is gonna be our best bet,” Ellie said, indicating the treeline in the distance. There wasn’t much else around. “We’re lucky they haven’t started losing their leaves yet. Might be enough.” _Or we_ _’ll get soaked all the same._

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Do you want to try it out? A little rain never bothered me much. And, if we’re quick, we can figure out some sorta… shelter situation. Or, we continue up the path, and hope to make it out the mountains.” The girl shrugged, her gaze shifting to the man in charge. Man is an overstatement. He’s a boy, a child much like the rest of them. He should hold that title, for once it’s gone, so was the rest of you. You lose a lot of stuff out here. One can only hope to keep themselves.

Katrina wasn’t someone to dwell… more than she already had, but she can’t help it. The thoughts of that linger from the situation before. Clementine. She doesn’t know her. She doesn’t want to. But that doesn’t mean she’s not already on her bad side. It’s nothing Clementine has done to her, really. It’s what she neglected to do to Ellie, and what she continues to avoid.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie shook her head. “Better finding shelter than getting sick. Temperature’s dropping, too.” She sighed, looking towards the group ahead, debating whether or not she should call out and see if they were stopping or just do it herself. Instead, she bit her tongue lightly, holding back.

Sighing, she led her horse towards the trees. At a mild trot, they’d reach it in a few minutes. “Come on,” she called towards Kat. The rest would either follow or go on, at that moment she didn’t care which.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat looked towards Ellie as she broke away. Something about the way she took the initiative to break off and find shelter.… it — it was admirable, to say the least. “You heard the lady. Get your asses into high gear. Please, and thank you.” Kat spoke to the others, leading her horse toward the tree line. Guess camping was on the agenda. She should have packed something a bit more fun to lighten the mood once they were all settled. But, she’ll find a way. If not with weed, with other methods.

“Right behind you, E. Lead the way.” She smiled, her horse seeming a bit happier to be heading for more cover than before. The woods were never the safest thing in this world… but there was relief about heading towards them regardless.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Even the forest was sparsely packed, leaving little natural cover from the rain. Ellie, after stopping where the trees grew seemingly the densest, set out to place a tarp between several trunks, tying them up to each. As she did so, she noticed Kat nearby, wiping her hands off on her jeans before setting herself down on the ground beneath the tarp.

“Won’t exactly keep the wind out, but at least we won’t be soaked through.” _Until the wind picks up and the rain goes sideways. Oh well, not much we can do about that._ In a few moments, they’d have to search for some dry wood for burning, but she’d wait for Carl and the rest to catch up first.

With a wary gaze, Ellie continued, “you ready for hell? Soon as those three get here, don’t think there’ll be much peace left.” Ellie really wanted to talk with Clementine, but if she stuck by Lydia’s side the whole time, she wouldn’t have much of a chance to do it. Maybe that was the point. “I can hear Lydia already.” She put on a higher pitched voice, rolling her eyes. “‘I’m not sharing a camp with that traitor bitch and her Savior friend.’” She groaned, already winding herself up.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat let out a small snort as she finished tying up the horse close by. “She’ll be easy to handle. Last I saw, she was a little blonde who is more bark than bite. It’s not every day you get into a yippin’ match with a puppy.” She joked, fixing her jacket as she moved over to Ellie’s side. Kat sat down, resting back onto her back to get a bit more comfortable. She let her hair fall into the grass and leaves below, a short exhale escaping her lips.

“This is the life, you know. Save for the storm, it might’ve been the perfect night for stargazing. That’s the best part of being out campin’. You get to see such a beautiful sight. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem too bad out here. Even if the others aren’t too thrilled to see us, we can find some joy in being out here.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

The thought of comparing Lydia to a puppy made her chuckle, shaking her head. She couldn’t really vouch for Lydia’s ‘all bark no bite’ thing, though. The first time Ellie’d managed to piss her off, she spat on her, called her a whore, and gave Clementine enough bruises and cuts for her to need stitches. Seemed plenty bite to her. The thought of those two being friendly after all that baffled her. Ellie had instigated it, sure, but Lydia wasn’t stable, that much had been clear from the get-go.

Still, no point dwelling on it. It’d only make her angry. She laid her back against the tree, watching as Kat stared up at the blue tarp above them, her own lips curving into an amused smile. “Not _every_ night can be like last night,” Ellie chuckled, wishing that weren’t true. “It was fun, though. Never got to do that with anyone else before. Usually just me sneaking onto the roof of the orphanage back in Boston. First thing I noticed after leaving the QZ was just… how many stars there are. A lot of ‘em you can’t see in the city. It’s like the universe just opens up to you, and… yeah. It’s beautiful.” She looked towards the ground then, grazing teeth along her bottom lip.

“Sometimes, I like the quiet. Being alone with the stars.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat took a deep inhale, shutting her eyes for a moment as she spoke, her voice… much quieter and softer than moments before. “Do you want to know what someone very important once told me about the stars?”

Kat’s eyes opened again, her gaze still resting on the tarp above as if she can practically see the stars. “Each star isn’t just a ball of… whatever… floating in space. Each and every single one is a soul of someone who is no longer with us. I believe that more than ever now that life is this shitty. Memories, thoughts, what make them… them… it’s all there. If you think really hard about them, the star shines brighter. That’s why sometimes the stars are dim, no longer there. ‘Cause people forget. People stop thinking of others once they’re gone, and they fade. But me? I never forget. I always have my lost ones on my mind. Even if it doesn’t seem like that. I like to think my father is the brightest one up there. Which… is kinda selfish.” She laughed, wisps of her breath moving into the air above.

“It, uh… definitely makes me feel better to think that way. The irony of someone as… painfully staining on my life being such a good influence on my grief. It’s laughable.” Kat shook her head, closing her eyes for another moment before she opened them again to look towards Ellie.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie followed Kat’s gaze towards the tarp, a sense of wonder on her face as she imagined what the girl was explaining. She knew that it was probably wishful thinking to think that’s true, just as much as the idea of a god and a heaven and a hell seemed… strange. But, she wanted to believe it.

Breathing in softly, she let it out with a faint smile. “I hope my mom’s up there. Somewhere. It’d be nice to know she’s looking out for me.”

She’d take anything more of her mother. Anything more than a disintegrating letter left in the depths of her backpack, and a switchblade she’d managed to hold onto despite all odds. Anything at all.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“I bet she is. And… I think she’d be pretty proud of the woman you’re becoming. You’ve had some bumps in the road lately, but how can she not be? I know I am.” She smiled, flipping over onto her stomach to get a better look at her friend.

“Even if it’s the most unlikely thing in the world, if you can be a star on Earth, who says you can’t be one when you’re not, as well? A literal one? That’s what I’d hope to be. It’d be the best fate I could wish upon myself when I finally bite the dust. All this… religious stuff isn’t for me… but this…? This is my reality. One with… pathetic dreams… but dreams nonetheless. Your mom and my dad are both probably watching us. Knowing Father, he’s cracking ridiculous jokes about whatever I’m up to, maybe they’re even close by one another. There is a universe of stars! So many stories, all just waiting to be told! That’s the dream, E! Everyone gets their story, so when we write them in the stars, we have to make it worth being told! We’ll glow… so bright… everyone who ever doubted us — saw us as unfit… unworthy? Just some stupid Savior and a traitor? They won’t be able to ignore us. We’ll shine… and — and it’ll mean, everything. A corpse in the ground, left in a black, endless void? Please. I’m going to be a star, baby. And I’ll shine just as bright as my dad.” Kat’s smile grew as she stood up, standing just at the edge of the tarp. She looked up at the clouded sky, the rain leaving droplets of water on her face.

“We’ll be the biggest stars of them all, E. And no one can take that from us.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Listening to Kat talk about the stars was like seeing a whole different side to her, a side that Ellie was getting more accustomed to seeing. Talks of rocks and comforting hugs and soul stars? No matter how stressful life got, she could always count on her to lighten the mood. She loved her for it. It reminded her of conversations long ago, of a girl refusing to give up on her even when Ellie felt that all was lost. People needed people like that. Hopefully Clementine had one too, in Lydia. If that was possible.

So, her smile only grew larger, a hint of a chuckle under her voice. “Do I get to be bigger than Betelgeuse?” It was one of the only stars she could remember that were apparently _massive_. Bright balls of fire that cast their glows over space like shining beacons.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

When the three of them reached the camping spot, the traitor and her Savior came into sight, who were setting up already. _Two snakes in a pod._ Just the mere sight of it made her want to lash out and punch the nearest thing.

“Hey. Maybe wait up a bit next time?” Lydia ‘kindly’ requested from atop her horse as she approached, peering down at the two girls. “Better to travel together, it’d just _kill me_ to see something happen to you guys, since people go missing pretty often when they’re out this far.”

Lydia took notice of the tarp, which had been set up around several tree trunks. Her eyes drifted back to the duo, a smug grin on her face. “At least you made yourselves useful.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat turned to look at the other three as they moved in, her smile fading ever so slightly. She’ll finish this talk later. “Sorry about that, guys. I was definitely itching to get off the horse and stretch. Besides, I bet they’re both enjoying their break.” Kat motioned to the horses they rode. As she did so, she made her way back to Ellie’s side, taking a seat comfortably. “Well, make yourselves at home. We’ll be here for the night no problem.”

Kat shrugged, leaning back and eying the three. Carl wasn’t that bad. He didn’t seem to mind her too much, which she enjoyed. Clementine had no interaction or... anything towards her that she knew of. And Lydia? Well, wasn’t she a lovely ass bitch who’s lying through her teeth. Oh well. She’s trying to play nice, and she respected that.

**Dot [Ellie]**

When the rest finally showed up, and Lydia predictably tried patronizing them for leaving them behind, all Ellie could do was roll her eyes. _If y_ _’all weren’t so slow, then maybe you would’ve kept up. Serves you right._ Instead, nothing came out of her mouth. Better that way. She still had to survive these next couple days.

“Tree coverage is solid,” she said, matter-of-factly. “And we were about to look for some firewood. So, yeah. We’ll just… continue being _useful_.” At that, Ellie picked herself off the ground, dusting her jeans off. Passing a light glare towards Lydia, only softening into a blank expression by the time her eyes flitted towards Clementine, Ellie zipped up her jacket further and put on the hood, heading off into the forest alone.

Anything to get away from Lydia for a second longer. She had her machete with her, so she wasn’t worried about being alone. Probably best that way. Lydia already hated her and Kat hanging out as it was without making it seem… like it’s more. Would _hate_ for her to think they were talking shit behind her back.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she disappeared into the foliage.

**Art [Clementine]**

It was the most she’d heard of Ellie’s voice since that morning. Watching her girlfriend disappear with a hood over her hair and a chip on her shoulder, Clem kept her lips sealed. A stream of enduring indifference, or —an attempted one. Clem’s eyes never stopped betraying how hurt she was to be there.

She eyed everyone else, brow raised, and decided to ignore them too.

Clementine sat on a log too rotten to serve as firewood, keeping Tripp’s horse hanging about by wrapping the reins around her wrist. It squirmed like a healthy, hungry one. She hated that name; _Tripp_ _’s horse?_ “Hey, blockhead,” she called in a whisper, just to have her huff air at the ground. “We’re camping now, okay? Time to rest up.”

She made for better company than the rest, anyway.

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

Searching for dry wood had given her the time she needed to gather her thoughts and mentally prepare herself for spending a night in close proximity to Lydia and Clementine. A part of her felt guilty for leaving Kat behind to fend for herself, but the other part knew that she seemed more than capable of turning the tide of an argument. She liked the quiet, anyway. Menial tasks to focus on. It reminded her of working in the infirmary.

By the time she finished gathering firewood, the storm had grown in intensity, causing Ellie to have to clutch the bundle of sticks underneath her jacket to keep them dry. Thunder rumbled through the valley, so loud that Ellie might’ve gone deaf. It was a long walk back to the camp, and her footsteps grew shorter the closer she got, as if they, too, dreaded returning.

Thankfully, no one seemed to be at each other’s throats. Clementine was tending to her horse, she noticed, while Lydia and Carl stuck to each other, and Kat beneath the tarp they’d set up earlier. More tarps were placed in the trees, giving them each a place to sleep for the night with relative dryness. Hopefully the storm would let up soon.

Ellie came into the camp silently, placing the wood in a pile near the center. Reaching for her backpack, she grumbled as she realized she hadn’t brought a lighter along. Turning towards Clementine behind her, she called out. “Do you still have those matches?”

**Art [Clementine]**

Blockhead wasn’t so hungry anymore, chewing on a bundle of tiny raisins with its head held up high. If not for Clementine, the storm would have scared her off by now. _There, there._

Clementine kept busy instead of keeping tabs, on Ellie included. Clem frowned, fidgeted in her seat, before reaching for her back pocket. Silently, she tossed the box of matches at her.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie caught the box, frowning all the while. _Best not to think about it_ _…_ Turning back towards her pile, she gathered some kindling from beneath the tarps, anything that was still dry enough to catch. Placing it into the pile, she lit a match, trying to start as many tiny fires as she could, blowing gently to breathe life into it. Eventually, the kindling caught, and with time, so did the sticks, twigs, and small logs she’d managed to gather. Setting herself beneath her own tarp, Ellie reached out to warm her hands, rubbing them together.

“Would’ve been nice if we had some marshmallows,” she said to no one in particular, her sarcasm as dry as her mood had become.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_Yeah, would be nice if you weren_ _’t here, too._

She’d been lingering around Carl like a bad smell at this point, wondering if she was starting to annoy him with her incessant complaints about this whole situation.

Like it or not, the temperature was dropping, and so was her will to keep away from that fire they were starting up. Lydia would’ve loved nothing more than to avoid those two like the plague the entire night, but any longer without a source of heat...

Eventually, the girl decided to release Carl from her vice grip, hoping he’d be joining them soon. Unfortunately for her, he was taking first watch for now. She rubbed her hands together, using her breath to warm her palms as she made her way over to Clementine.

“Heading over to the fire.” Lydia started off, hoping she’d get the hint. “Kinda don’t want to go there alone...”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat arched her back, seeming to relax at the feeling of a satisfying pop. She rubbed at her tired eyes, looking towards the group quietly as Ellie prepped a fire. Clementine had been quiet for ages now, she nearly forgot the girl was still here. Her dismissive behavior towards Ellie was noticeable though… and she didn’t like it. They had too much tension for her taste. Then there was Lydia and Carl. Love birds, though how Carl put up with Lydia was beyond her. Seemed like a tough job, but if they’re happy, to each their own.

The crackling of fire drew Kat’s attention, giving the girl her cue to join her friend’s side. She moved from the corner of Ellie’s tarp, which she was using to hide from the rain till her safe return. She immediately laid next to Ellie, using a hand to prop herself up a bit as she stared at the fire. It left an oddly welcoming, beautiful glow that danced around each and everyone’s complexion. “Marshmallows would have been killer. Too bad I also left my main supply at home. This is a smoke break if I’ve ever seen one. Maybe I’m lucky and got something.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie let out a half chuckle, looking towards her friend next to her. “No way,” she said, as if daring her to prove her wrong and pull out a bag then and there.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Oh yeah? Let’s see.” Kat rolled her eyes, standing up and moving over to where she stored her bag. She rummaged around the contents she had brought with her, the usual things of course. A few things to snack on if the group needed it, a large flask filled with water —unfortunately — a book, ‘cause even Kat was kinda educated… a flashlight, knife, and —there it was! There was her weed stash. She pulled it out, moving back over to the fire with a smile. She sat down by Ellie’s side, flashing the bag to her before she already began to roll it.

“Never underestimate my need to smoke.” As she said that, she stuck an end of the joint in the fire, pulling it back and taking a rather large inhale before passing it to her friend. As the smoke left her lips, she let out a sigh. Today’s struggles were already melting away.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The instant that bag came out of Kat’s backpack, Ellie couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. Kat _would_. Taking a drag of the joint, she handed it back to her friend, blowing the smoke away from everyone else. At least, she’d try to keep things civil and not get on anyone’s nerves. A small smile stretched her lips as she relaxed into her spot next to the fire.

“Damn, I should underestimate you more often.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Please do. I love an excuse to blow off steam.” She took another puff, blowing out a few rings as she settled against her friend. “I have no idea when I put this in there, but past me is officially smarter than present me.”

As she let out a small laugh at her own joke, she looked over to Lydia and Clementine. “You think those two need a hit? Maybe it’ll pull the stick out their asses.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

The physical contact, mixed with the mention of Lydia and Clementine, had her smile dropping. Her eyes fell to the fire, taking in a sharp breath through the nose. “Maybe,” she said. She wasn’t nearly high enough to talk about those two. The way her girlfriend had been treating her since Jackson was still proving to stab at her. If she could even call her that anymore. Ellie wasn’t sure. She hated that feeling.

**Art [Clementine]**

She wondered what they were saying to each other, across the warmer side of the camp, between the laughs and puffs of smoke. Not knowing made her anxious. But when the Savior girl snuggled close to Ellie, Clementine couldn’t bear to keep spying.

“I can’t,” she insisted, eyes wide and peering. “I’m not going there.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Just like that, Lydia furrowed her eyebrows together, the infamous scowl returning as she directed it towards the seated girl. It was sort of understandable why she wanted to stay away, but this was starting to _seriously_ piss her off, seeing Clementine roll over like this. Freezing her ass off just because Ellie was hogging the fire.

Was it selfish that Lydia was more angry about Clementine throwing her to the dogs? At that moment, she didn’t care. She was asking for a bit of support, and it already took a lot for her to do so, but it felt like she was totally being disregarded. Lydia really didn’t appreciate it. Not one bit.

“So, ‘friends support each other’, until they don’t feel like it?” She stated, throwing last night’s words at her. Lydia was ready to have her back at the fire, but Clementine apparently didn’t. It hurt, she supposed.

**Art [Clementine]**

That was _so_ unfair! Clementine jolted in place, incredulous and ready to retort.

But, she didn’t. Even though, at the moment, disliking Lydia came as easy as every other motor function. Clementine screeched from under her breath, “You suck!”

Friends were meant to support each other, but they were also meant to keep their word, too. If she had to step up just to prove that to Lydia, then so be it. “Okay,” Clem decided, her game face on.

That courage all but went away when Ellie saw them approach. The fire couldn’t have been so hot —after all, Clementine couldn’t feel a thing below her neck. “Can I sit too?” She pulled at the bottom of her jersey to keep her hands busy. Clementine looked defenseless.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat looked up the second she heard footsteps. She blew her puff of smoke away from the others, smiling at Clementine warmly. “Sure you can. Open fire, after all.” She gestured for her to take a seat, moving to get off of Ellie.

“We were just talking about you, actually. Well. You and Lydia. We were wondering if you’d maybe like a hit? Looks like we all are just a bit on edge today.” Kat held out the joint towards Clementine, resting comfortably next to the fire. She definitely looked like the stoner type, huh?

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_There you go_ _…_ Given how the others were already giggling around the fire like a bunch of assholes, Ellie and the Savior clearly weren’t upset, so why should Clementine be? Relief washed over her face, perhaps some smugness too, as the other girl finally gained some confidence. At least she wouldn’t have to face them alone now, because her ball-capped friend was officially in for the ride.

Lydia’s eyes followed Clementine like a hawk as she walked past her and made way for the fire, then trailed right behind. She drew the white hood over her head, perhaps it was to keep any potential rainfall out of her eyes, or maybe make it easier for Clementine not to notice the litany of filthy glares she was about to throw at both of those bitches. One or the other…

A gross, pungent smell lingered in the air as they got closer, like a disease, and she already knew the sources of it. Lydia’s nose squiggled around in disgust before taking her seat next to Clementine. _Of course you would_ _… fucking drug addict._ Lydia shook her head at the offer, knowing full well it would be a stupid idea.

“It’s easy to feel on edge out here, isn’t it? A lot can happen outside of the walls.” Lydia responded to the Savior, speaking fairly casually at first, a certain sense of vagueness in her tone. “Maybe the feeling’ll wear off after a few days.”

She casted a glare towards Ellie, who was directly opposite her and Clementine, staring straight into her eyes as she spoke her next words. Not even taking the time to blink. It could pass as friendly enough, but she was sure that the redhead would read between the lines. “Still, I’d sleep with one eye open tonight, just in case.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Like Lydia’s, her nose was scrunching. Clem sat next to her, head pointed at the dirt where no one could fire a lasting glance. Since when did Ellie start smoking? Clementine stifled a cough and said an even “No, thanks.” If they were anything like cancer sticks, she’d sooner be tossing them away.

If there was one, or any, plan to this, it was not letting it go quiet. Not letting it get heated. Not letting it get weepy. Just one week and she’d be gone again. For good. Clem wanted neither a reason to stay nor one to run away quicker. If only things stayed normal for a little while longer.

Clementine looked at the Savior girl, and the Savior girl only, dreading every step. “How about… just your name, first.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl stood half a dozen feet away from the camp, looking for any signs of danger. Besides the incoming storm, this was gearing up to be a calm night.

The wind was blowing in his direction, and it soon brought a smell he could immediately recognize: the Savior. He had nothing against her smoking in her free time, but out here was not the place to do it.

An idea quickly materialized in Carl’s head. Maybe it was time to know her better. If she was more relaxed, maybe she would let out more than she should.

“Looks like you girls are having fun, huh?” He approached the fire. “Mind if I join in? I was on the lookout ‘cause I thought I heard something. Turned out to be just a couple raccoons going at it.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Suit yourself, more for us… And, Kat. Most call me that. The longer version is an ear sore.” Kat sat back, taking another drag from her life support before handing it back to Ellie, blowing the smoke away from the group. As her blue hues moved up, she was met with Carl, his overall kind demeanor seeming like a breath of fresh air compared to the other two. Of course, the raccoon thing nearly made her choke. She let out a soft laugh, nodding in response. “Of course, give those trash cats their privacy. The more the… hopefully merrier. And, Lydia… helpful advice. You can never be… uh — T… Too careful, yes, that’s the word.” You’d think smoking as long as she had would make it harder for her to be affected by this shit. But, here she was, already drawing blanks.

“So. Uh, you guys are all... Jackson... people — How’d you all end up there in the first place? Was it… like — by choice?” She asked, leaning into her hand to listen to… whoever wanted to actually answer her question. Truth was, she knew they didn’t exactly like her, that’s obvious, but at least she could try?

**Dot [Ellie]**

The instant Clementine and Lydia joined them at the fire, Ellie stiffened. She tried to let Lydia’s veiled threat go unanswered, but Kat had decided otherwise, throwing in a few words that Ellie winced at. Still, she refused to give in to what Lydia wanted. They had to deal with each other, whether they liked it or not.

When Carl returned, she only managed to relax slightly, just enough to take in an extra long drag of the joint as Kat passed it to her, letting it out slowly. _C_ _’mon, just get me high already. I want out of this place._

Ellie straightened her back as the question was broached about Jackson, which Ellie knew had been directed towards Lydia and Clementine, but she had a feeling that they’d just retort instead, so she answered for them in a matter-of-fact tone, “It wasn’t the end-goal, but it became it. Nothing much else out there.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

The leader of this expedition was inbound, which she was grateful for… in a way. But, with Carl now here, sniffing around, it also meant that she’d have to be more careful about what came out of her mouth. Vaguely, Lydia recalled how she was practically like a feather in his hands the last time he had to drag her away from a confrontation. If there was a fight, it wouldn’t last too long with him around. The girl was smart enough to admit that.

 _Raccoons going at it?_ _Seriously?_ She raised an eyebrow, weirded out, but feeling like this was just an excuse to come here and make sure they hadn’t killed each other yet. The Savior found it amusing though, rambling on about trash cats or something.

‘ _Helpful advice. You can never be... uh —T_ _… Too careful, yes, that’s the word._ ’

“Okay.” She responded, completely monotone.

Next came the part she especially didn’t like, the questions about what happened before she got to Jackson. Lydia wasn’t worried though, because Negan’s goon would be getting jack shit of an answer from her. No way was that topic of discussion on the cards… ever.

“Yes. It was by choice. Most of the time we all have a choice when it comes to the company we keep. Don’t you guys think?” Lydia made a statement under the guise of a question, one she left open for anyone to answer. She remained calm, but the underlying message was still there, and obviously directed at the two people her gaze was swapping between. Ellie and the Savior.

**Dot [Ellie]**

_That_ _’s the shittiest segue I’ve ever heard._ Ellie found herself thinking as she elected to ignore the comment. Lydia would be fishing for a reaction out of her all night, she knew, so she wasn’t going to give it to her. If Lydia wanted to start yelling at her instead, then Ellie would have a reason to fight back. Until then, fuck her. She wasn’t getting baited into this again.

Handing the joint over to Kat, she grabbed her backpack, digging through it. She pulled out several cans of food, holding them up. “Anyone hungry?” _‘Oh sure, Ellie, I’m hungry. Hungry for your blood.’ You’re a mood vampire, Lydia, sucking out all the pleasantness out of this disaster of a run._

**Art [Clementine]**

They were all saying _things,_ but exact wording started to blend together just as soon as Lydia threatened to kill someone. Par for the course.

Clem picked up a can for herself, looking for an out. Any chance to keep quiet was a win.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Clementine eventually took one of the cans, leading to Ellie smiling nervously. At least _someone_ accepted her offer. Maybe that’s why those thoughts resurfaced again, of Clementine and the ranch. A lull in the conversation that acted as the calm before the storm, just as the real one brewed ever louder. She set down the cans next to her backpack, clearing her throat.

“Well, they’re here, if you want any. I guess.” Her eyes flickered, towards Clementine, and she swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

_It_ _’s now or never, Elle._

“Clem—” It sounded more like she was choking than saying a name. “Can we talk for a second?” She hated having to say that, but what else was she supposed to do? This was the first chance she’d gotten to get close to her.

And she had a feeling it was about to blow up in her face. The weed, at least, made the anxiety bearable.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Hey, you guys?!” Clementine spoke, drowning Ellie out completely. “Let’s play a game, okay?”

It was all spur of the moment. Every syllable lumped in with the next, a hair away from not forming a sentence at all. Clem was startled that way. From her new, sturdier backpack, Clementine pulled a pen with barely a drop of ink left, and a crumpled piece of paper. She wrote five words in a hurry: Clementine, Lydia, Carl, Ellie... and Cat, spelled with a C. The five names, cut into five papers, were tossed inside her empty can of food. “Here. We pick two names from the can...”

“…First one has to say something, other has to listen.”

“The catch is… it has to be something you’ve never said to them. And it has to be true.” Clementine, for the first time that day, looked straight into Ellie’s eyes. “Liars get tossed in the fire.”

She held the can close to her chest, waiting for someone to pick the papers at random. “Go ahead.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

As Lydia spoke, Kat took a quiet drag from her joint, sad to say it’s nearly depleted. She… wasn’t a fan of the sarcastic tone, that’s for sure. Eventually, as Ellie spoke up, Clementine cut her off with talk of games. She nodded, despite not really wanting to share anything to a bunch of people she barely knew… but it’s not like she’s got anything to hide regardless. “I’m game.”

After she looked between the four others around her, seeing no one jump to start the game off, she blew the smoke away from everyone, waving slightly to signify she was willing to draw. She looked away from the can, waiting until it was held out to her to pluck out two names. She then read them aloud, slightly cringing at the thought.

“Uh… Lydia and Ellie, in that order.”

Afterward, she sheepishly stuck the two names back in the can.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_That_ _’s right, you’re not going anywhere._

Lydia couldn’t have had a wider grin on her face at that moment. Ellie wasn’t going to try and change the subject and weasel out of this. Now, Clementine had put them in a position that had the double-crosser right within her grasp, and she wasn’t about to let go and pass up a perfect opportunity to spit some much needed truth.

It would be cathartic, at least. Payback for all the times Ellie snuck away in Jackson and ran off whenever she was confronted about her shit behavior. Lydia was simply going to say what everyone else was already thinking, and if that’d end up making the blonde the biggest piece of shit here… Well, then so be it, because she didn’t give a fuck.

“Hey Ellie, remember that day the Saviors showed up at our front gates?” Tommy’s murder by Negan, everything that happened in the church, the literal fall of Jackson and their way of life. Of course she’d remember, and Lydia was counting on it. “After that, I was actually pretty surprised when you became best friends with one.” She admitted, sarcasm oozing from her lips.

“Bet you thought I wasn’t.” Lydia added, playfully, tossing her the fakest smile ever.

**Dot [Ellie]**

It took every ounce of her sober courage to even speak up, yet the instant she did Clementine drowned her out. Her stomach broiled, fists clenched within the space between her crossed legs. Every ounce of her being wanted to stand up, grab her horse, and gallop her ass straight home, yet even that wouldn’t be possible, as Kat had walked right into their trap, pulling out the names from the empty can.

To say that Ellie wasn’t surprised about the names that got picked would be an understatement. She gave Lydia the most soulless stare she could muster, dipping her toes into her _not sober_ courage to keep from going ballistic. Honestly, not a single word that came out of her mouth surprised Ellie. It was the same shit she’d been telling her. Ellie didn’t care. Fuck her. But now Clementine knew, and it wasn’t like Ellie was intentionally hiding it from her, but she had hoped to broach the subject more… diplomatically. Guess that wasn’t going to happen.

So, having done her part in _listening_ , she grabbed the can, pulling out a pair of names. Voice almost emotionless, she read them out. “Lydia and Clementine.”

_Have at it, princesses._

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“Wow, me again. Thanks Ellie!” Lydia was all perked up and beaming now, having an absolute blast, and seeing the pure dissatisfaction on the drugged up bitch’s face gave her an unhealthy amount of amusement. _This game rules._

“Clem.” The blonde cleared her throat, directing a gaze towards the ball-capped girl. From the former Whisperer’s demeanor, to her tone, everything instantly became a whole heap more genuine. This time, she’d mean every word.

“I know you’ve had to put up with a lot of bullshit from _certain people_ recently.” The list was long, if you counted everyone at Jackson that tried kicking her out. But they weren’t the ones Lydia was talking about at all.

“But uh, haven’t told you that last night was probably the funnest time I’ve had in… ages.” That much was the truth, but she felt comfortable enough to admit it, especially with snakes slithering about nearby. Maybe it’d get them to think on their actions. “Would be… cool if we could swap you back into Jackson and kick someone else out instead. Doubt you’d wanna come back though, I kinda don’t trust the quality of people there anymore.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine had retracted into a little shell, pretending not to be there, avoiding the smallest hint of attention. Ellie was… probably really mad at her.

How bad was it, then, that she didn’t care? Far as Clem was concerned, Lydia hadn’t said a single lie.

Clementine just did her part, grabbing two papers and reading them out loud. “Carl and Cat.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl relaxed and sat next to Lydia. It looked like they were already in the process of getting to know each other better. He had chosen a good time to come.

He tried to avoid Kat’s question, simply acting like he was still looking for a comfortable position to sit in. His fist clenched slightly, as a reflex. Clem came to the rescue with her suggestion. He happily accepted.

Lydia was the first one, and the victim was Ellie. He glared at her, knowing something foul was about to come out of her mouth. _For fuck_ _’s sake, Lydia._

After another round, it was Carl’s turn. He struggled for a few seconds, thinking what he could possibly tell this girl he barely knew. “I think it won’t be a surprise for you if I tell you I don’t think highly of your group. Well, you don’t seem that bad.”

Liars get tossed in the fire.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat tensed up as Clementine read the names. She looked over to the girl, as if double checking her name came out of her mouth. Great, that’s fun. So excited for that. Kat, taking one last drag from the joint, and put the remainder out in the dirt below her. As she breathed out, she turned to Carl, making sure to point the smoke away, cause obviously it’s rude otherwise. The second he said ‘group’, her anxiety seemed to heighten. She instinctively bit her bottom lip, only relaxing when he gave a… decent opinion on her. Not everyone hated her yet.

She gave him a thumbs up, a half-hearted smile following as she shook the can and plucked two names out. “First we got Ellie and...” Kat went silent for just a moment, blinking at the name written on the paper. It was her name, but… spelled wrong. She let out a short sigh, speaking up in a slightly less enthusiastic tone. “…Uh, me—” She placed the names back in the tin. This was a lot more fun when the opinions of people she didn’t care about were pointed towards her. But Ellie’s thoughts? They meant… so much more than she can express. This game? Sucked.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine’s head perked up from where it hid — a turtle out of its shell. She didn’t look straight at anyone around the campfire, but her side glances followed Ellie like magnets. If there was any turn she wanted to pay attention to, it was this one.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Carl’s turn went by in a flash. At least someone else in this fuckfest of a group gave a shit about giving people a chance. Was it weird that Ellie liked him more than Clementine at that moment? Not in the same way as before, of course, but at least he wasn’t acting like Lydia.

When the time came for Kat to pull out more names, stating her own before following up with _her_ own, Ellie took in a deep breath. What could she say about Kat that she hadn’t said before? Not that anyone would really know besides them…

But cheating was never an option.

“I’ve never properly thanked you. For everything you did for me, after the Saviors showed up. You didn’t have to give a shit. About my skin burn,” she pulled up her hoodie sleeve to show the tattoo, dropping it once more. “About how I felt. The anger and the hurt. You could’ve been like every other Savior I’ve ever met, looking down on anyone who isn’t you. But that isn’t you. You pick people up. You look at the silver linings. So many people don’t do that anymore, no matter what side you’re on.”

“You might’ve grown up as a Savior, but you were never really one of them. Just a kind soul trapped in the same system _we_ _’re_ in. Knowing what I know about you, if I treated you like a monster, then it’s _me_ who would be.”

She didn’t have much more to say after that, or at least, it’d get into territory that she’s already treaded in the past. Letting out the rest of her breath, she settled in her spot next to the campfire.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

As Ellie spoke, Kat sat as still as she could. Her breath hitched, and she could feel herself suffocating. Each word was… soft… sweet — It touched Kat’s long neglected heart to hear they really did understand. She’s trapped with a title she doesn’t even want to claim as her own, and yet… it’s all she really knew. Living by her own rules and morals is what helped her be a better person, and she wanted that. She wanted so badly for people to look at her and not see the community she lived in’s path of destruction… but just… Katrina. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Once Ellie stopped talking, Kat couldn’t help but feel herself grin ear to ear. You can blame it on the weed all you like, but the next thing she did was as genuine as it can get. She moved just ever so slightly closer, and pulled Ellie into a hug. Despite her height and general build, the hug was soft and warm. She pressed her face to her shoulder for just a moment, whispering a very small “thank you,” before pulling back and flashing her that million ration cards smile.

Of course, her smile was wiped clean off once she drew the next two names. She… really needed to stop drawing names- This was a two to one bad to good ratio. “E… Ellie to Clementine—”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

_Oh, give me a fucking break._

This had to be some kind of joke, right? A kind soul trapped in ‘the system?’ No, Lydia wasn’t buying it one bit. The Savior knew what she was doing when she joined up, riding off of other people’s resources, all while that behemoth piece of shit would sit on his ass and profit from it all. A _real_ kind soul would’ve left the Saviors long ago, instead of sticking around and pretending to be all innocent. None of that mattered to Ellie, it seemed. As long as she got what she wanted, it didn’t matter how much damage it caused to others.

Her eyes nearly popped from their sockets as soon as she saw a tattoo, clear as crystal, on her arm. _She gives her tattoos, too?_

Lydia’s head dipped to her own feet, squeezing her lips as she tried to hold it in.

She couldn’t.

That was when the giggling started, quiet sniggers she tried to muffle. The lunacy of this whole thing was honestly too much to bear.

**Art [Clementine]**

That was harder to listen to than anything Lydia could’ve thought up.

What else could she do but feel discarded? Her side glances devolved into stares that must’ve made Clementine look simple. If Ellie had ever said something like that to her, Clem was neglecting to remember.

The hug sealed the envelope with flaming, burning wax.

Now, she regretted it. Her ribcage was closing in on her lungs, stealing air meant to leave. It _hurt._ What Ellie said was enough, the good and the bad — the little bit Clem thought was directed at her. She’d gotten what she wanted. Clementine was ready to end the game and leave.

Until Ellie’s friend read the two names.

Clementine froze so stiff she turned blue. Whatever she did, it’d be too late. Too _little._ It hadn’t been worth it. Bringing up the game to get payback for what Ellie did, or might’ve done, or hadn’t done… but she got her wish. Clem braced herself, and decided she had it coming.

**Dot [Ellie]**

She was right back where she started, and this time she wasn’t at all prepared for it. How could she? Clementine had made this game up to hurt her, that much was clear, and now that it was her turn to be able to hurt her back? That thought became just that, a thought that got lost in the noise. That part of her, that self-pity, it repeated that she’d deserved this anyway. Whether or not Ellie had always had good intentions, or emotions she couldn’t control, she was the traitor. She was the girl that told her best friend off and did exactly as Riley had done to her. They’d both done that to each other, really.

Kat had been right from the start: they were both wrong. Just two kids with no idea how to love, and how to handle loss and grief and fights. How to put your feelings aside to find a middle ground. Maybe it was doomed to be this way from the start, but she refused to believe that. After everything they’d been through, was she really going to let this all fall apart because of herself?

Lydia’s laughter from the previous round didn’t help, but when did Ellie not ignore the things that came out of her mouth?

Taking in a breath felt as if she was on another world: a thicker atmosphere, and little oxygen to be found. She was at the edge of the universe, with no way back.

“You mean more to me than anyone I’ve ever met.” Her heart felt heavier. “And I know I’ve hurt you. And I know that I’ve apologized for the shit I’ve put you through countless times, so I can’t even do that now, to not break the rules.” Her legs felt like jelly. “I know that I was selfish. I know that holding onto you was just taking your choices away.” Her throat was closing up. “Where you’re going, I know that you have to. You deserve to find them. You deserve to be happy. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you.” If her body could have a system-wide meltdown, now would be the time it’d happen. Yet, Ellie just kept going, saying everything she wanted to say.

“I just wish that I could’ve gone with you, but I understand why you don’t want me to, both then and now. And if you hate me, I understand that, too. And, as maddening as you can be sometimes, I know that I could never hate you.”

She shifted in her spot, soft inhales followed by ever-increasing anxious exhales. “Find them,” she said. “Please.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine... didn’t respond.

When air escaped her lips, it was steam erupting from a locomotive. She felt like one. Off-rails, and ready to crash. Motorman found dead. She almost wanted to look at Lydia, just to soak in her reaction. Who looked _simple_ now?

Clem didn’t. Once the shock wore off, her expression was unreadable. She breathed, first. Faster than normal, anyone could tell. Her mouth opened a third of the way through, and waited for the rest of her body to catch up. Only when her breathing became even, did Clementine ask. “Do you want to break up?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie shook her head once. If there was anything she was certain of, it was this. “No. I never do.”

But that’s the thing, wasn’t it? Reality needed to come and punch her square in the jaw. Wriggling thoughts that Clementine did, and maybe she was right to want to. Maybe they’d never see each other again anyway, but did that change her answer? Not really.

Maybe she liked thinking that she had a girlfriend out there, living her best life with her parents, rather than an ex that never wanted to see her again. It was sappy, maybe misguided, but when was anything she’s ever done or said been logical?

**Art [Clementine]**

She chuckled at that. Wasn’t that weird. Clem, despite herself, wanted to smile. Tried her damned best to… and in the end, managed to pull it off with flying colors. Her eyes shone with the dwindling firelight, ambers mixed with amber of her own.

“Me neither.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

For the first time tonight, Lydia was speechless, dumbfounded even. They were having this conversation in front of… everyone? Were the drugs getting to Ellie’s head? That was all the young girl could keep asking herself the longer the redhead spoke. No more giggling, no more bullshit chit-chat, just straight to the nitty-gritty. It came out of nowhere, maybe that’s what made it so surprising.

So it _was_ true, what Carl had blabbed to her ages ago. Taking last night into account too, this double confirmed it. It was impossible to get more clear-cut than this. Silence ensued for a moment, the soft pattering of rain hitting the tarp and the crackling of fire was all that could be heard.

“Excuse me.” Lydia stood up, dusting herself off. Unsure if she wanted to hear any more of this. It didn’t matter though, since she was done with the game. With that, the girl turned around, and with little delay, left the site to retreat to her sleeping bag.

**Dot [Ellie]**

With those two words, an insurmountable weight was lifted off of her shoulders. All this time… regretting, hating, coping, it seemed only then that those rocks had finally drifted away, downstream. There was resolution, though Ellie knew nothing had really changed. All she cared about, though, was that Clementine would leave Jackson _not_ hating her. Even though that selfish side of her hoped that she’d return, with her parents, some day. She knew that she’d support her if she didn’t.

Ellie had no idea what to say after that, but she couldn’t help the smile that was plastered on her face. She looked like the biggest idiot in Jackson, but she didn’t care.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“You know what?” Kat started laughing under her breath, shaking her head as she stood up and stretched out. “I’m with Lydia on this one. This wasn’t a game to win, but you both definitely won it. I say it’s time to end it here. I’ll take watch till the high wears off a bit more, if you don’t mind. I need something to focus on. I’ll be in shouting distance.” Kat offered a smile in parting, walking off towards the edge of one of the tarps to take a seat and look out over the trees. She felt pride rise in her chest. Ellie did it, and she couldn’t be happier. Kat let a look linger back towards the group, her eyes rolling slightly as she looked back up to the clouded sky.

“Well, Dad. Maybe this won’t be so horrible after all.” Her voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. “I know I had my doubts the other night, going out anywhere with just Carl.. and even more doubts when the rest showed up. I know it’s a long shot, but… maybe things aren’t going to be bad. Lydia will be tough to crack, but… Ellie has my back… and Carl… might be giving me a chance. It’s like… way too early to be talking to you, isn’t it? Heh — Thanks, though. You always were a good listener. To be updated, old man. I… uh — I love you.” Kat let her smile fade as she turned her attention back to the treeline. She had a chance here. Now to just not blow it.

**Crimson [Carl Grines]**

It looked like Ellie and Clem had taken over the game. Carl smiled warmly at the scene. A bittersweet goodbye, but at least they had the chance, some people never do.

“Well, I gotta go make sure our supplies are well secured. Don’t want raccoons poking around our food.”

_Raccoons? What an idiot._

As Carl walked away, he looked in Lydia’s direction. Something had annoyed her, and he had an idea of what it’d been, but every time he thought he knew her, she surprised him. Maybe he’ll never fully understand that girl. Maybe she doesn’t want to be.

His eyes then shifted towards Kat. She was also a mystery, but for very different reasons. Maybe it was partly true, she didn’t seem that bad. Still, the pain lingered. Everything he had lost to Negan, everything his loved ones had suffered had helped her remain alive. She had feasted on Hilltop’s crops. She had been defended by Alexandria’s weapons. She had thrived on the Kingdom’s blood. Yet all of that wasn’t her fault. Suddenly the bogeyman didn’t look so scary. He almost felt pity, and that scared Carl even more.

**Dot [Ellie]**

As everyone else left — either bitterly or warmly — Ellie was left with Clementine at the campfire, though the silence that had befallen them wasn’t as suffocating as it might’ve been twenty minutes ago. Settling on opening a can herself and getting something in her system before resting, the rest of the afternoon went by in relative peace. And, as darkness fell, and the rain stopped, Ellie settled into her sleeping bag for the night.

They still had a long journey ahead of them, she knew, and while things between her and Clementine might be better than they had been, there were still a million things that could go wrong tomorrow.

She just had to hold onto hope that this was the worst it would get.


	9. Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit delayed on this chapter release, but we're here! You can also follow me on twitter for regular updates [@YourEverydayDot](https://twitter.com/YourEverydayDot), I also post release tweets there and delays (such as the one I'll have to make tonight for the Fanfiction.net version of the story since that site's bugged tonight).

**Dot [Ellie]**

The wind chilled to the bone, aching as they froze in the snowy night. It’d grown overnight, white piles that blanketed the earth, as cold as she felt inside. The town slept, leaving the street ahead dark, and the only illumination being the minuscule glow of the snow in the faint moonlight.

Ellie was used to taking walks like these: alone, her thoughts somewhere far away, somewhere where she lived another life. No hardships, no questionable moralities. No regrets that clung to her like glue. They were nothing but that, though, daydreams. Here, the world was very real. Visceral. Hard. Here, there were no saints, no sinners, no weak, no strong, no men, no women. They were just survivors. People.

And she couldn’t help but wish that it was anything else.

Her stroll through the town square eventually led her to the restaurant she’d been heading to. It stood out amongst the mom-and-pop stores that surrounded it, like a beacon in the night. The faint candlelight filtering through the windows only helped in forcing her focus on it. As she opened the door, she kicked off the snow clinging to her boots, letting the door shut behind her.

The smell of garlic filled the air, and spices she couldn’t quite identify. People she vaguely recognized ate at a table in the lower section, sending her a curt nod as they noticed her. She nodded back, approaching the window in the wall that divided her from the kitchen on the other side, then towards the door next to it. The instant she entered, the smell strengthened, causing her mouth to salivate. A man was cooking on the stove inside, and as she entered, he looked towards her, smiling. His black beard had been neatly trimmed, making him seem younger than his years, though the gray hairs that were popping through gave his age away.

“Ellie! Fucking finally, child, you took your goddamn time.” His voice was gravelly — warm, in a weird way. Ellie answered the comment with a smile of her own, leaning against the counter next to him as he continued to season a patty of meat on the stove.

“The perimeter needed checking. Again.” There wasn’t much of a wall around this place, if at all, so their only natural defenses came from patrol routes and natural barriers, like the lake nearby. It made them an easy target, though living so far out in the middle of nowhere, they hadn’t seen anyone in months. “Derek refuses to do it, so that honor fell to me.”

“Look at you, taking initiative. That’s what I fucking love about you, kid,” the man said, laughing as he flipped the patty with a rusting spatula. “You get shit done. The rest of these sorry shits oughta learn from you.” His smile fell then, a slight shrug of his shoulders following his next words. “I mean, you were a fucking handful when you first got here, but you came around. Finally figured your shit out.”

All Ellie could do was nod, choosing to let him keep talking. He had a tendency to do that, Ellie had noticed, and in some ways it made him endearing, in others… well, the months haven’t exactly unmade him an asshole.

“So,” she began, elongating the word. “What’s cooking?”

His smile came back, a yellow-toothed grin that spelled how satisfied he was with his latest kill. “Something special. You’re gonna love it.” He turned off the heat, putting the frying pan on the cold side of the stove. He glanced towards her, waving for her to follow him. “Yours is already done. C’mon.”

Ellie followed silently, being seated down at a long table in the center of the restaurant. A silver platter was placed in front of the seat he indicated for her to sit in, covered with a silver lid. As she sat, he grabbed the handle on the lid, his finger shaking out of excitement.

“I call this one ‘Simmons á la Vengeance’,” he said, giving the final word a slight French accent to it. “Shitty fucking name, but you’ll see why.” He lifted the platter, revealing the contents that lied underneath.

She’d been expecting a grand platter of meats and vegetables from the garden, but what she found left her breathless, unable to move, as if paralyzed. The severed head was cooked, skin turning black and red, while the eyes looked… stared… into her soul. Golden orbs long since liquefied. Ellie jerked her head, trying to look away. Fingers clasped around her neck, keeping her head straight, unwavering from the sight of Clementine’s head. Fear and pain and death was all that she found staring back at her, hair charred. The smell was still there, too, of rot and burnt flesh and hair, and it caused her stomach to churn, ready to spew at any moment.

She wouldn’t, though. Simmons’s breath warmed her cheek, a hint of a chuckle playing in his throat.

“You see, Ellie? I always win. I’ll take every fucking thing from you. And yes, I do mean everything.” He shook his head, clicking his tongue. “It’s a shame that you let her go. She might’ve lived had you not intervened. Could’ve convinced her to stay.” He let go of her neck, pushing away. “Now enjoy your meal, kid. It’s gettin’ cold.”

Without control, Ellie’s hand grabbed the fork next to her, digging into the head’s cheek. The skin peeled like chicken off a bone, and somehow managed to look like it too.

Piercing it with the fork, she took the bite.

—

Ellie awoke with a start, breathing heavily as she squirmed inside her sleeping bag. Sweat clung to her, only making her feel worse. Her brain was firing signals she couldn’t keep up with, images from the nightmare playing on repeat. Her eyes instantly went to Clementine’s sleeping bag on the other side of the camp, noticeably empty. Though, it only took a second to find her sitting against the base of a tree, eyes focused on something in her lap, and the world outside their little camp. She was alright. _Thank God._

Her head felt as if it would explode, and as she wriggled out of her bag, she pulled a bottle of water out of her backpack, taking a few swigs. Hopefully it’d help.

The sun wasn’t up yet, though faint streaks of orange hung in the distance, like the glow of a massive fire far away. The world was warmer, too, leaving her to stuff her hoodie back into her backpack. Not having it irritating her still-sensitive skin around her tattoo helped tremendously.

Carl was the only other one awake besides her and Clementine, she noticed, and she gave him a curt nod as she dusted herself off and passed him by. She planted herself on the ground, against the tree opposite Clementine’s. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she weakly called out to her. “Hey…”

_Time to not make this awkward._ Though, the dream she had was already making this feel ten times worse. Just thinking about Simmons again… about that town… it resulted in a lump that she couldn’t quite get rid of in her throat.

**Art [Clementine]**

She liked it there, where the sun hardly touched. On her lap sat an opened book titled _Howl_ _’s Moving Castle,_ parts of the page obscured by the long shadow of branches above. As the sun veered to light their camp, there came a girl casting hers.

“Hi, Elle,” Clementine greeted her back, too shy to _smile back_ as well. Too guilty to do much of anything but wince in pain. “Is it too late if… if I want to apologize, too?” She started, closing her book, and crossing her fingers she’d get to close another. “I shouldn’t have done it. That thing with the game. Wanted to get even, I guess…” Clementine lowered her gaze, so far away. “I’ll ask Lydia to say sorry too, if that helps.”

“Then there’s… _everything else._ ” Her eyes followed Ellie’s frame all the way to her freckled nose, settling with the smallest hint of trust. “Can I make it up to you?” She asked, her voice loose and friendly. Warm enough for a smile to form.

“Just name your price. I’ll do anything.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Despite her pounding headache and grogginess, Ellie managed to return the smile meekly. Hearing that, it made her feel a little bit better, maybe selfishly. She was still working on that. “I just don’t want things to be like that again,” she admitted softly, eyes falling to the ground between them. “I want your last memories of me to be good ones.” _Sappy. C_ _’mon, Elle, you can do better._

“I’m sorry, too. For everything I said and did. I know I already hinted at it yesterday, but it needs said.” Sharp inhale through the nose, she visibly relaxed. “You don’t owe me anything,” she continued, smirking. “Besides, Lydia’ll say she’s sorry before hell freezes over. Don’t think she’ll ever stop hating me. And… I guess, I’m okay with that. Not everyone has to like me.”

There was a brief pause, followed by a sigh. “I tried apologizing to her before. For the campfire thing. She… obviously didn’t accept it.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“I’ll make her.” Clementine looked all smug for once. Maybe hanging out with Ellie again really _was_ rubbing off on her.

It wasn’t the same, though, was it? Hadn’t been that long either, but Ellie really came off different. Clem couldn’t decide what it was: the baggy clothes that made her look like a washed up rockstar; the short mess of red tied to the back of her head; how, even in the dark, she couldn’t pass for a little boy anymore — so strong and larger than life. Like she’d gotten tired of being the same age and... moved on, while everything else stayed the same. How strange it was, seeing Ellie, and seeing a woman. How brave she looked under the sun.

Clementine looked at her and felt insecure. For the first time.

“So,” she blabbered on, prying her eyes away. “You wanna sit and watch the sun with me?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

There were a lot of things going through her mind at that moment, she almost missed Clementine’s comment about making Lydia forgive her. Maybe the nightmare was giving her more issue than she’d care to admit, a sense of anxiety that had her arms crossing over her chest, as if to block it out. Though, all it took was one question from her ballcapped girlfriend to have her push it away again, even if it’d only be for a few more seconds.

Ellie didn’t hesitate. Pushing herself back to her feet, she set herself down next to the girl, crossing her legs and staring towards the horizon barely visible through the thicket. Closing her eyes for a moment, she could start to feel the warmth of the sun seeping through. Green orbs meeting the side of Clementine’s face, she spoke quietly, “When was the last time we did this? When we snuck into that little belltower next to the church?”

**Art [Clementine]**

“Well, you’re all about sneaking out of places. ‘Bout time we snuck _into_ one.”

When Ellie shut her eyes, Clem’s amber drifted away from the sun, running far off to the side. Her side. She watched as if she wanted to memorize every little detail; the color of her lips, down to the wrinkle of her smile. Her heart was knocking at the door of her chest so freaking hard, Clementine couldn’t keep from getting caught staring. Maybe she wanted to be.

“It’s been so confusing lately,” she said, dodging Ellie’s eyes again. “I didn’t get my turn. So I wanna tell you some stuff.”

Even now, she shared her feelings like a teenager, using a silly game as pretext. There was nothing wrong with that. At least, it hadn’t been a problem so far. Except, for some reason she’d go _mad_ trying to explain, Clem felt so childish saying it to Ellie. To her girlfriend, who hadn’t seemed to be for so long. The sun bathed Clementine in orange so fierce, you could miss the red that burned in her cheeks. She certainly hoped you would. _Breathe. And tell her._

She told her.

“I missed you. I missed you all the time. Like, even though you said _that._ ”

“Especially ‘cause you said that.”

“I… I _forgot_ what that was like. I _thought_ I was ready to let you go. Right...? But then I saw you with someone else, and… I freaked. I saw you and I thought… ‘ _I_ _’m gonna be alone._ ’ I’m gonna be alone, and it’s all because I thought I was better off that way. But I wasn’t. I’m _not._ ”

She forced herself to look at Ellie. She looked at her, even though it made her lose the cool she never had. She stared at that green void and didn’t let go. “We only got a few days before I leave, and maybe I won’t come back. I could — I could **die,** or I could stay there, I don’t know, for **years** before I see you again.”

“So, I want to say everything. I want to do everything.”

“I love you.”

The most surprising thing, to Clementine, was how easy it was to say it. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“And also...” She laughed her ugliest, most honest laugh. “Fuck you, Ellie.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie listened to every word she said with bated breath, as if her lungs had ceased to function. She was sucked in, so much that she even forgot to blink. It was pain and hurt and comfort and hope, and everything Ellie had been feeling since the day Clementine left all the way to expressing herself last night in a drugged haze. Like somehow Clementine could sum all that up in only a few sentences, and then top it off with those three words that did nothing but make her heart stutter, flutter, or somewhere in between.

Then she finished it off, and Ellie couldn’t help the snort that she made, completely losing it in a fit of laughter barely contained enough to keep from waking the rest of the camp.

“Yeah… I had that coming,” she finally managed to say, only then becoming aware of the fact her shoulder had already found itself laying against Clementine’s. No wonder she’d been giving her the cold shoulder… did she really think her and Kat were…? It wasn’t like that. Never was. Ellie wouldn’t lie and say that the Scot was unattractive, but Ellie had only been thankful for a comforting presence in her girlfriend’s absence. Someone to confide in, to talk to, to make sense of all those rampant emotions picking her apart, and causing her to tear up bedrooms and nearly get herself killed. She never even considered anything more.

Head laying on Clementine’s shoulder, she decided it was her turn to talk. Selfish, once more.

“I thought about you a lot, after the ranch. Lydia had my head all messed up after telling me about Kat. This was just a couple days after I saw you again. Felt like I was losing everyone around me. I did something stupid, got myself hurt. Tripp wouldn’t let me leave Jackson anymore. ‘Too important’, or some bullshit. Fucker only wants to hold onto his last chance at a cure.”

“And I hated him for it, because eventually all those feelings started to fade, and I realized how much I’d fucked up. How much I wanted to march myself right back to your door and apologize, and realized that I couldn’t. I hated it.” Her face scrunched, bitter. “Maybe you would’ve told me to fuck off. I’d probably have deserved it. I don’t know. I just… Ever get those moments where you remember something you did like five years ago and cringe? It was like that, except every day.”

“Now that we’re here,” she continued, voice raspy. “I just wish we’d had more time together. Is that selfish?” She shrugged lightly, biting her lip. She lifted her head, taking in a deep breath. “I just know that… even if it takes years, we’ll see each other again. I just know it.” She didn’t, but she liked sounding confident.

Her head shifting again, she planted a light kiss on Clementine’s cheek. “And, I love you, too.”

Saying that again felt so strange, yet in equal measure, it filled her with warmth, the kind that’s all tingly and fuzzy and made you smile like you were just that stupid girl in Pittsburgh again. The kind of warmth that made her content to sit there forever.

* * *

_A few hours later_

**Dot [Ellie]**

The sun crested over the horizon, bathing the valley in warm light. The camp eventually went from dead quiet to the faint clatterings of breakfast and packing. Carl had a map spread across the dry side of the tarp he’d slept under the night before, pulled down and about ready to pack. Ellie strolled over with hands buried in her pockets, looking over the map as she stood next to him.

Bending her legs to sit next to him, she pointed towards a city marked with a red X on it, near the center of Idaho. Pocatello. “Is that where we’re going?” she asked. Truthfully, Ellie had never really gotten up to speed with where they were going on this little expedition. She was too busy avoiding Lydia and Clementine. She scrunched her face, in thought, glancing towards the one-eyed boy next to her. “It’s pretty far. Looks like a lot of mountains and windy paths through here,” she said, indicating their most direct path. “Might have to circle around on the highway?” She phrased it like a question, knowing that Carl was the one that’d ultimately make the decision. At least, she was fine with that. He was probably the least crazy out of all of them. It’d take longer, but ultimately was safer and easier.

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

“Yep, that’s the plan.” Not that Carl doubted the skills of anyone in the group, but he was unsure if they were well-equipped for the task. “It’s risky, but if there’s somewhere we can find supplies, it’s there.” He wondered if it really was a good idea, or if this expedition was a product of Tripp’s desperation to find a new place to regularly get supplies from.

“I was also thinking about using the highway. We’re definitely not ready for mountainous terrain. Problem is, we’ll take longer that way, and I don’t know if we even have enough supplies for that.” He placed his hands on his waist and stared at the map. “I just hope it’s worth it, or we might have to go even farther.” He had circled a few other places along the way where they could maybe find supplies, just in case Pocatello ended up being a bust. A scrapyard, gas stations, a diner, places that had probably been swept long ago. “What do you say? Up for the challenge?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“We’ll pass through Idaho Falls on the way. I know it’s been searched plenty of times, but chances are we could find some food there,” she said, pointing towards the city just a bit north of their intended location. “We might have to ration, but I think we’ll be okay. Just can’t get bogged down like yesterday.” She glanced towards him, a cocky smile on her face. “And I’m always up for a challenge.”

She picked herself up, moving to pack up her tarp and anything else she’d taken out of her backpack the night before. They didn’t have time to lose. Every once in a while, she could feel Lydia’s stare on her, but she chose to ignore it. Now wasn’t the time to piss her off, any more than she probably did last night.

Once everything was in order, she gave her horse a light scratching on the side of his muzzle, whispering “Good boy,” before climbing into the saddle. Nearby, Kat did the same, following Carl and the rest beside her back out into the open valley. As they trodded along, Ellie spoke up, pulling a spare hair out of her eyesight.

“Last night certainly got… interesting.” Understatement of the century. Her eyes found Clementine ahead, lingering. “I mean — I’m glad things turned out okay. For a while there, I thought we were all gonna kill each other.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl kept the lead, staring at the road ahead. Uncertainty was the number one word in his head right now. Not only because of the future, but because of his convictions.

He looked back to see Kat. She was his most trustworthy source of information on the Saviors. Not the small private militia that followed Negan like dogs wherever he went, but the people, the kids and elderly that live within those walls.

“Hey.” He slowed down and let Kat catch up to him. “I was wondering. How long have you been a Savior?”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat let out a silent yawn, petting her borrowed horse gently as Ellie spoke up about the crazy events of last night. “Ha, yeah. I… totally — remember all of that. The conversations we had, oh those were great.” Kat rubbed the tired out of her eyes, failing at sounding super confident about what she was saying. “I’m not gonna lie. I remember Lydia saying something probably rude to me, and some really cute stuff between you and Clementine… and, for some reason, the sky looked like the face of… a bear? I have no idea.” Kat shrugged, straightening up as she noticed Carl slowing down.

_Please don_ _’t be mad at something I did last night..._

As Carl spoke up in greeting, Kat chose to play it cool, waving to him with a welcoming smile. Of course, that smile also dropped the second he asked her about the Saviors. She… should’ve saw this coming, really. “Oh, uh — Right. I’ve been there since this all started. I think I was… a few months old, a year? I can’t remember, really? But, I do know that I have dealt with the Saviors since my first memory, if that paints a picture.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

That was exactly what he wanted to hear. He looked carefully at her face, the question clearly caused a reaction. He was walking treacherous ground, she could report back to the Saviors any moment after they went back to Jackson.

“I can’t imagine how it’s like to live in a place like that your whole life then get ordered to move to another place. You must have many good memories. How was your life back at the Sanctuary?”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“It was like the average childhood…” Kat said almost bluntly, seeming to tense up just a bit as she fixed herself on the horse. Her blue hues flickered from the ground back to Carl. She… was totally comfortable having this talk...

“We learned to survive like everyone else, learned to handle weapons, first aid. You know, important stuff kids should know during the end of the world. We did a lot of supply runs as we got older, I guess…? Lot of uh… training, mainly? We were a community like any other. You had people who had your back, like my mom and dad, and people who made your life slightly more shitty. Good memories… sure, ‘cause my life has been peachy. The move was bullshit. I left my mom behind for this shit, and look what it’s got me. Everyone hates me, and the Saviors that moved with me are bullshit.”

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Unlike the rest, who were all clumped together up ahead, Lydia stuck to herself. Hanging back so she was purposefully just out of earshot. At least this way she’d be able to hear the birds, maybe even an occasional walker or two. Both of those sounds would be more pleasant than having to hear Ellie or the Savior ramble on about a bunch of stupid crap.

Lydia was not in the mood today, and after a shitty night’s sleep, she didn’t have the patience to be out here either. If one thing was certain, it was times like these when that small apartment complex back at Jackson felt alluring.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Carl had found his way to their side, asking a bunch of questions. Ellie would be a fool to not see what he was doing, but she supposed that he _had_ to, huh? If it made him like her, then she guessed she was alright with it.

As the questions went on, Ellie found herself speaking up, genuinely curious. “What’s your mom like?”

Having nothing but her dreams and a crumpled piece of paper to know her own mother, seeing what it was like for someone else was too powerful to resist.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat nearly jumped out of her skin when Ellie joined the conversation, her face suddenly slightly red at the thought. Have all these fuckers except Lydia been listening to her ramble about her fucking childhood? “My mom? She’s great, one of my favorite people. She’s smart, funny, all the right kinds of badass. She’s also strong, brave… She took risks while with the Saviors, and I applaud her for being able to do twice as much as someone expects from her while raising a child. And to do all of that, and then continue to power through alone. I — My mom has the strongest will of anyone I’ve ever met. She’s the best. And… I really… really just... want to make her proud. I don’t get to see her anymore. I miss her, and hope she’s doing alright on her own. She’s always had me to lean on when she needed it, and everything I’ve learned, it came from her. I know she’s tough, and I’m supposed to be too, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like shit when she’s not here.”

Katrina let her gaze fall away from Ellie to look forward, clearing her throat a bit to try and wave off how… more or less emotional she sounded. The feeling of sorrow was clawing at her throat just to talk about her, and they weren’t even gone. However, despite all the advice her mother had given her about bottling up feelings and how they’ll only blow up in her face eventually, she put on a smile, and stuffed away the feeling for the time being.

“She’s all I have left.”

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

A normal childhood indeed, nothing suspicious there. Carl let Ellie ask away, it would make it all seem more natural. He knew too many more questions would make Kat suspicious; she wasn’t dumb. Just one more question, anything else he wanted to know could wait for later. What could he ask? Maybe something that would make her talk about their defenses? Or their food supplies? No, there was something he wanted to know even more. “And has it always been like that? With Negan at the front. You guys seem to like him as a leader. I’m kinda surprised you don’t all wear matching shirts with his face.” He tightened his grip on the reins, his palms got sweaty. He might have really been overstepping his boundaries here.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat shot her gaze over to Carl as he spoke, her otherwise friendly smile seeming to drop just like that damned name. Oh, she wasn’t dumb, indeed… but what she was… was way too trusting. She should’ve caught on earlier to what he wanted. He wanted what half of Jackson wanted. Someone to spill all about life inside the Saviors. Well, maybe next time he asks, he’ll choose his words carefully.

“Excuse me? If you wanted to know all about my oh so great leader, you can ask him yourself. It’s funny to assume we all happily follow his orders. Do you think we hold hands and frolic as we run straight into people’s camps and take them over, slaughtering all that go against the word of the mighty Negan?! No, that’d be fucking stupid. You’re even dumber for asking it. I let the first two questions slide ‘cause I know when to not run my mouth about things, but I am not going to just give you the insight on everything Savior. Just because none of you guys care much for my life, doesn’t mean I don’t myself. So, instead of letting you run back to your boss and rat my sorry ass out, thus getting me in trouble with _my_ boss, I’d rather keep it to myself. I don’t have a death wish like you do, Carl. Negan isn’t someone you can get a little information about and take down. I’m not scared of a lot of things anymore, but him? He’s the monster living in your fucking closet, and this one is willing to kill you in your sleep for slipping up. I ask you, kindly, not to ask any more questions that have to do with him — Not as a loyal follower of that bastard… but as a human being just trying to survive.” Kat let her glare linger for a moment before it fell to a much more… worried expression.

She gave a small cue to the horse to move faster, allowing herself to take a small lead just to get away from him. Guess that’s… back to one who saw her more than just a Savior.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Even Ellie had narrowed her eyes as Carl asked his next question, going on about the Savior folk _liking_ Negan. Kat’s answer was proof enough that _no one_ really liked him, he was just too fucking powerful to mess with. Frowning, she tried to catch up with her. If anything, to offer a comforting presence to be around, while maintaining her distance. At least, until Kat decided if she wanted her around.

Maybe she oughta see if she can get Kat and Clementine talking… though she still wasn’t sure if that was a good idea yet.

Guess time would tell.

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Of course, the one question he asked sincerely was the one that blew his cover. At least it was good to know her opinion on Negan. In truth, Carl was afraid. Maybe Clem was just the first person of many to get kicked out of Jackson. Another community thrown into chaos because of the lack of supplies, and Negan’s oppressive hand.

The answer Kat gave wasn’t the easiest. If all the Saviors were mustache-twirling villains, it would all be simple. Just kill them all.

Maybe, this answer was better. It meant that Alexandria, Hilltop, the Kingdom and every other community that suffered under the Saviors didn’t suffer in vain. As morbid as it sounded, people were kept alive thanks to it, and maybe those people could be saved. It was the best he could make out of this awful situation. He didn’t need to defeat the Saviors, he needed to destroy what they represent and reform them into something better. It also gave him a bit of hope. If the Saviors could be saved, maybe Lydia could be too.

Carl looked away sheepishly. “That’s not what I meant.” He looked back at the road, in silence.

* * *

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Lee’s stride was excessive, a sense of urgency in his steps. The man’s beard wasn’t as neatly trimmed these days, and his eyes were bloodshot, derived from a lack of sleep. Still, even with the slight limp that accompanied him, he pushed through the dense streets of Jackson. To the untrained eye, those packed markets tried their hardest to give off the impression that it was a lively community. However, make no mistake, the people here were still as soulless as ever. All drained of their joy, and Lee was no different in that regard.

Misery. That was all he felt day in and day out. A feeling that followed him even to the classroom. By now, it was pretty obvious he was disengaged from the job, and he was sure that the students were catching on, too. Though, luckily, it was in the classroom where he’d discovered the shocking news. Rumors circulating about the girl with the ball-cap and her return to Jackson, how some had seen her ride out on a horse with a few others.

A flurry of emotions hit him like a goddamn freight train, but he refused to give himself time to think, it was almost as if his body instinctively knew what to do before the mind allowed those thoughts to linger for too long. Perhaps, maybe there was hope that he’d find out where she was.

One person would know for sure… and he’d just about reached the front door to his office right now.

With little haste, Lee raised his fist to the door, hammering away at it until someone answered.

**Dot [Tripp]**

Things had settled back down in Jackson, the whole town feeling as if it were waiting with bated breath for Negan to come knocking again. Luckily, that time won’t be for a little while longer, and _hopefully_ after Clementine came back with something to give him. Their yield this month was already seeming horrifically low.

Scribbling in his supply notebook, his nose scrunched as his gaze jerked up towards the door when several harsh knocks banged against it. Sighing, he called out in a dry tone, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal the teacher, Lee. Supposed he should’ve seen this coming. Mighta caught a whiff of his girl’s scent. He glanced back at his notes, continuing to scribble in some more as he spoke.

“What can I help you with, Lee?” His voice was matter-of-fact, but he tried to not sound irritated by his presence.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

The new head of Jackson answered, and didn’t look surprised to see him one bit. Lee’s eyes darted down to that notebook he so casually scribbled in, before drifting back up to the man who was barely casting him a glance. Already, the history professor had a feeling that Tripp knew this was coming. “Clementine.” He stated, making the topic he wanted to discuss rather clear.

“Is it true?” Lee asked, skipping past the formalities as he got straight to the point.

**Dot [Tripp]**

Lee usually didn’t strike him as the ‘straight to the point’ kinda guy, but he guessed that today was the day. Putting down his pen, he focused on Lee in front of him. “Is it true that she was here? Yes. Is she still? No. If that was your next question.”

“Your girl’s getting ready to leave Jackson altogether. Tryin’ to buy a horse off me,” he continued, leaving it there to see how Lee responded.

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

“So. You’re telling me she was here.” His voice was practically shaking, a side effect of the raw anger he felt. It took every ounce of strength he had, to resist the urge to dive over that desk and attack him.

Lee took a step forward, teeth gritted as he pointed towards himself. “And instead of thinking to tell **me** about it, your first thought was to send her off to God knows where?” Pretty far away, he was assuming, since apparently the team that went out still hadn’t come back. Lee made sure to check, just in case. The thought that she was safe and sound inside these walls for a moment, then sent out into a pit of danger again at this man’s beckoning, it killed Lee more than anything. What aggravated him was how long the Jackson leader was sitting on this information.

When it came to respect for Tripp, there was little to give. As far as Lee was concerned, that was still Tommy’s chair he was sitting in. He hadn’t forgotten what that man’s insurgency towards Andrea had cost them. Even now, it was obvious that Clementine was being used, all to try and meet Negan’s deadline, which was fast approaching.

“Just who the hell do you think you are?” He was furious now, having quickly run out of patience. For months he’d sat in silence, waiting to heal, but no more. Clementine was his only priority.

**Dot [Tripp]**

Tripp raised an eyebrow, hardly feeling threatened. “She stayed the night in Jackson,” he said, as if it were obvious. “If she didn’t visit you, likely she doesn’t want to. Ain’t for me to get in the middle of it.”

He’d gotten used to being treated like this, especially by those that had taken Andrea’s side after Negan showed up. If it ain’t one thing, it was another. Always was with them. But, he respected their opinions, and hardly wanted to make a big deal out of it by reprimanding Lee for his tone. He wasn’t Negan.

“She wants a horse, then she’s gonna have to earn it. I sent her out with the most capable people that wanted to go. If she dies, then I reckon I’d be more than surprised. She seems capable enough _alone_.” He shrugged at that, frowning. “You’re more than welcome to take it up with her when she gets back. Hell, go with her, if she lets you. This ain’t a prison.”

_We_ _’re not letting her back in, though. Don’t even try that, Everett._

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Lee bit his tongue, withholding the tirade of ‘comments’ ready to be flung in Tripp’s direction. He had his opinions, when it came to the man’s treatment of Clementine, and handling of Jackson as a whole. Safe to say, if it hadn’t been for the leg, Lee would’ve been gone a long while ago.

“Tell me where you sent them. When do they get back?” If they were close enough, maybe his body could handle an expedition to catch up. Waiting wasn’t the favorable option, but if there was no other choice… he supposed he’d have to.

**Dot [Tripp]**

“They’re headin’ out into the middle of Idaho, ‘bout fifty miles south of Idaho Falls. Ain’t nothing left any closer than that.” Not much more to say than that, honestly. “How long will they be gone? Twelve days? Two weeks tops? Maybe they’ll get lucky and find a car to help them back. Certainly would be a good trade for Negan.”

“Now,” he said, irritation growing in his voice. “Is that all?”

**Ledge [Lee Everett]**

Negan. That was all he seemed concerned about, wasn’t it? Not the people who were actually out there, risking their lives. To Tripp, Clementine was nothing more but a cog in a massive wheel, a means to an end. Who cared if she got bitten or died out there? As long as she brought something back for **Negan**. Lee would never see it like that, or treat it as something so casual. After all, that was the only family he had left out there. That was **his kid**. Nonetheless, they were too far to follow on foot, and no way in hell was he gonna be able to get a horse. Not with the beefed up security, and with Saviors crawling around too. The length of the expedition was about as long as he was willing to wait, by then his leg would be healed enough to travel. So if Clementine wasn’t back by the time Tripp said she’d be, Lee knew exactly what he’d do.

“Yes.” Lee answered, the sternness in his tone refusing to falter. Knowing that any more time here would just be wasted, he headed for the door, but not before uttering a few words to Tripp on his way out.

“You better hope that I see her walk through those front gates.”


	10. Lodge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be the last chapter for the next few weeks to a month. The pharmacy I work at is starting COVID shots soon, and the sheer volume of shit we're already dealing with is practically driving me insane. Once things settle down a bit, I'll be back for more chapters :) Just bear with me <3 Keep an eye on on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/YourEverydayDot) for updates, most likely will tweet out once I'm about a week or two away from the next release.
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy :) This one's quite a bit juicy.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Hours passed at a snail’s pace, the sun slowly moving from behind them to the far horizon, utterly blinding them in spots. The weather had warmed up nicely, with a faint breeze whistling through the trees. They’d skirted past a town called Victor, following a trail through the forest that eventually led them to a road that cut through the mountains, shaving off some precious time. By this time tomorrow, they oughta be a lot closer to Interstate Twenty-six, which would circle ‘em around towards Idaho Falls. For now, the mountains and hills loomed around them, covered in trees as far as the eye could see. A sign that led off the main road caught Ellie’s attention as they passed it, and she read it with a sigh of relief.

WEST PINEY LODGE CAMP

_Thank god, a place we can have an actual roof over our heads._

The idea was sparked, and they trodded down the road leading into the camp. A couple dozen minutes later, it came into view. A creek separated them from the camp itself, with a decaying bridge serving as their only way across. Parts of it were different colors, as if someone had patched it up and didn’t bother painting it. On the other side, cabins and administration buildings littered the area, most with their windows boarded up. Clothes hung on lines, left abandoned, and cars were left in strategic positions near the main bridge: a way out, and cover to hide behind in case anyone showed up.

Didn’t take a genius to figure out that someone had been living here before, but the place was deserted, thankfully. Or, at first, appeared to be.

After searching the first half of the camp, they found themselves near some sort of stage, with rows of seating built into the hill. Crudely drawn backgrounds dominated the stage, like some sort of… _play?_ _That_ _’s what they’re called, right?_ Ellie urged her horse to stop, dismounting.

“Well, there’s certainly worse places to stay,” she called out to the group. “Maybe we should split up? Search the rest of the cabins?” She’d directed that towards Carl, knowing that Lydia would make an issue with it if she tried to give her orders. Better to just make suggestions instead.

They didn’t exactly have an even number of people either, so Kat would have to come with her and Clementine. She didn’t trust Lydia around her.

**Shadowman [Narrator]**

One of the largest structures at the other end of the camp would soon be noticeable, which happened to be an old lodge sitting at the highest point of the acreage. A swing was located at the bottom of the hill, as well as a red staircase that led upwards, directly next to a worn out slide.

The sight may have been peaceful, if it weren’t for the soulless monstrosities that lingered around it. Eight walkers could be seen in the distance, feasting on a large corpse that was much too ravaged to make out, only bone and several chunks of flesh remaining on it.

A clicker was also nearby, standing in the open, though it appeared to be in a docile state, remaining mostly still with its head hung low, the occasional twitch or two.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

“How about you just wait a second?” Lydia responded to Ellie, monotone, but annoyed if you listened hard enough. Already, she was peering through her binoculars, laying out the land, trying to stay one step ahead of whatever else could be in this camp.

That was when she spotted the movement up ahead, her lips visibly twisting at the sight. Lydia counted them, softly whispering under her breath. They were all lingering around what looked to be the safest place to stay tonight.

“I’d rather deal with the company up ahead.” The blonde lined up her horse next to Carl’s, passing him the binoculars so he could have a look too.

“What are we doing, Carl?” She eventually asked, paying the rest no mind, ready to follow his lead on whatever he decided.

**Dot [Ellie]**

_Oh sorry, am I now being **too** useful for you now? Who_ _’s the one that’s gone across the whole country, doing this every day?_ Ellie found herself thinking, rolling her eyes. That feeling of anger, however, didn’t last long, as her attention diverted to what had gotten Lydia’s. From this distance, they were hard to make out, but Ellie knew walkers when she saw them.

Her hand was already wrapped around the hilt of her machete, letting go only to tie the reins of her horse around a nearby tree. Hopefully the fighting won’t spook them off.

With that, she unsheathed the blade, awaiting the order to attack.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Thank you again for the ride, buddy.” Kat whispered to her horse as she finished tying it off. She gently ran her hands down the horse’s neck, smiling up at it before breaking away to join the others. Of course, Lydia’s personality was as present as ever. Really appreciated that. And… Ellie seemed tense, to say the least. She definitely didn’t want to be on her bad side… Kat moved past Ellie at a reasonable distance, stopping next to Carl’s horse to look at the building in the distance. From what she could make out, it didn’t look horrible, it even might’ve been downright welcoming if it wasn’t for the figures around the entrance. Most moved slowly back and forth. But a single figure didn’t seem to move at all from this far away. She, really didn’t like that.

Kat unsheathed her hunting knife, narrowing her gaze to try to make out more. Guess she’ll never know till she gets over there.

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

“I don’t wanna split until we have an idea of what’s inside those cabins.” Carl dismounted his horse and readied his knife. “Let’s take care of the clicker first. Ellie, I think that machete of yours should be enough. I’ll be beside you with my knife, just in case. Lydia, Kat, and Clem, remain behind us in case you have to shoot.” He nodded at Ellie awaiting her confirmation.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Katrina twirled her blade between her fingers, eyes narrowing more and more at the far off creatures. Blurry skin-crawlers, but skin-crawlers nonetheless. Horrible, flesh eating monsters that can tear you apart despite the decaying muscle left on their decaying bodies. They made your skin feel alive with infestation just looking at them, as if something not your own is moving just below the surface, waiting for you to claw it out and give it its first breath of air. Hints, the general term Kat tended to use being skin-crawlers. And they were sure starting to make her feel just as the name implies.

Katrina moved away from Carl’s horse as he began his dismount, her feet carrying her closer to the house to try and make out each figure, ‘cause asking Lydia for the binoculars was far from on the list. Of course, when Carl spoke up with his game plan, she stopped in her tracks to listen. No need to split up, despite that being a decent plan to take out the walkers. She can deal with that, perhaps by the end of it she’ll know who has her b-

“What did you say…?” Kat asked, voice much lower than usual. She twirled around, knife now halted with the blade pressed between her fingers. She stared at the group for a moment, blue eyes moving from person to person. They were joking, right? This was one of their humorless jokes that weren’t funny whatsoever. It had to be. “T—That’s hilarious. I must still be buzzed, because I swear you just said... C… Clicker.” The girl’s smile threatened to break as she looked back towards the infected, a nervous laugh slowly but surely fading out. “Oh, god. I’m doomed, aren’t I…?”

Kat’s hands shook as she locked her eyes on the infected. Is it too late to turn back and go home…?

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie hesitantly nodded to Carl’s instructions, palms sweating as she mentally prepared herself for the attack. “Okay, okay…” She took in a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

The walkers were too busy gnawing on whatever they’d gotten their hands on to notice their approach, leaving just the clicker for them to deal with for the time being. Ellie moved silently, eyes darting between the clicker and the ground to ensure she didn’t step on anything noisy. The closer she got, the faster her heartbeat, machete held at the ready in case the clicker managed to hear her. When she’d gotten within range, holding her breath, she swung the blade towards its head.

It collided with the fungal plates covering its face, burying itself within. The clicker let out a surprised screech, and Ellie’s grip on the machete loosened as it jerked its head, ripping the blade out of her grip. Cursing, she went for her knife, burying it into its cranial plates several times while holding it at arm’s length with her free hand. Finally, she managed to pierce the brain, killing it. _Damn it, should_ _’ve went for the heart._

It collapsed on the ground with a muted thud, the noise from the walker’s meal covering it up. She ripped the machete out of the clicker’s face, sheathing it, then swiveled towards the dead, letting out a sigh of relief when she realized they hadn’t seen or heard her yet.

They still had time to work out a plan for them.

There were eight walkers, and five of them, meaning a few of them would have to double up. Ellie indicated for the rest of her group to follow her, and pick a walker on their side of the corpse. If they were lucky, they could take out half of them before the rest could even get to their feet.

Together they went, knives at the ready, Ellie’s gaze hyperfocused on her target. As she drew within footsteps, a twig snapped underneath her foot, causing the walker she’d chosen to look away from its meal and towards her with a hungry growl. It had black hair, and a patchy goatee, a massive cut splitting its face and nose in half, yet hadn’t managed to hit the brain. Ellie’s eyes went wide, a sudden fear seizing her, if only for a moment.

Instincts took over, and she jammed the knife into its temple, hard enough to pierce skin and bone. Kicking the walker back towards their feast, she prepared herself for her next kill, while the others dispatched their own.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Lydia wasn’t going to refute against the plan. Mainly because Carl’s judgment on this one was agreeable. The clicker definitely needed to be put down first, given the blindness, it was the easier target. They’d just have to be quiet, because if that thing screeched loud enough, it’d be the equivalent of ringing a dinner bell for the walkers… _Then_ they would be fucked.

Quickly, she gave the reins a tug, motioning her horse towards a nearby tree. After dismounting, Lydia slung the backpack off her shoulder, letting it hang on the side of the saddle for now. _Don_ _’t need you weighing me down… it’s been a while._

So they stood there, the three of them. Watching as Ellie and Carl went off to dispatch the fungus-plated creature. Her grip on the gun was tight, letting the firearm hang at her side. While they waited, Lydia’s stare innocently traversed the landscape, analyzing a bunch of trees, some nearby ruined structures…

That was, of course… when her gaze just happened to find the back of Kat’s head, too.

Lydia’s eyes were locked on, mind meandering now, following a path of very savory thoughts.

_How easy it would be to just-_

She blinked twice, the signal to advance came through, causing her to slip out of whatever trance she was in. It seemed like the clicker had been dealt with, and now came the time for them to all take out a cluster of walkers.

Tucking the gun back where it belonged, Lydia unhooked a massive serrated knife from the holster attached to the side of her leg, following everyone else.

With Ellie’s first kill, the walkers took notice of everyone, disengaging from their old meal in search of a new one. They split off, gurgling in hunger, going after their chosen survivors.

Lydia took stance, sinking her boots into the ground before raising her knife.

She counted _two_ corpses, both vigorously shambling towards her with their arms outstretched, eyes glazed over with a dead white tinge.

Sizing up the first one she’d have to take out, it was a little bigger than anticipated. Scratch that, _much bigger_. Whoever this person used to be, they must’ve been into weightlifting or something, and well over six foot, easily.

_Better get rid of him first, small one should be easy enough_ _…_

With that, the combat-ready teenager waited for it to get close. Her fingertips dug into the handle of the knife, sending it spiraling upwards. Blood and goop splashed onto her, the blade doing well to pierce right through the bottom of its chin. However, the other end came out through the rotten monster’s nose, missing the brain.

“C’mon!” She grunted in a panic, trying her best to pull the serrated knife back out of the still very ‘alive’ walker. Corpse number two was already onto her, cold hands violently pulling against the left sleeve of her hoodie. The confidence in her eyes soon faded, yelping as she tried to shift back from the two of them, both of which were closing in fast.

With one final pull, the cutting tool finally came free. Immediately, with the other walker still tearing at her sleeve, she used her free hand, the one that was already gripped on the knife, to have a second shot at the behemoth. This time, managing to dispatch it for good. Though, in doing so, its lifeless body lurched forward, causing Lydia to lose her footing and trip backwards, falling flat on her back.

“FUUUUCK!” Lydia cried as the giant body came crashing down on top of her, which effectively pinned her between _it_ and the ground. Mist was streaming down her cheeks, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her lungs. Unluckily, the smaller one she _hadn_ _’t_ taken care of still had a vice grip on her sleeve, and had tumbled down with them.

The knife? Where the hell was the knife?

A disgruntled Lydia tried to squiggle out from under the Walker, but it was no use. Eyes squinting, she watched as the dead one bit into her sleeve, continuing to pull as its head thrashed around. Her gaze found the shining object, which had only fallen right next to her. She tried reaching for with it her other hand… a futile attempt.

In that moment, the former Whisperer did the only thing she could think of. Lydia found the zipper for her blood-soaked hoodie, right under her neck, and yanked it downward with every ounce of might she had left.

It worked, the hoodie slid off like a weak wrapper, taking the Walker with it. Like a game of tug-of-war, only Lydia had let go of the rope. With those few precious seconds, she managed to grab the knife. Looking towards the walker which was already crawling back towards her, she dug the blade right into the top of its skull.

Finally, it was over.

Breathless, she laid there with the corpse still laying on her, and another one right beside them, eyes squeezed shut. There was no way to know if there were any crushed ribs yet, but… she really hoped not.

“Can someone…” She croaked out, desperately hoping one of them would help get this thing off her when they were done. Though, she stopped herself from speaking upon coming to a horrid realization.

_You were only wearing a tank top under that hoodie_ _… idiot._

In that split second, her eyes went wide with fear. A panic consumed her, a response that no walker could ever dream of getting from the girl. Now, there was little option but to lie in wait with bated breath. If hauling this monster off of her meant that they’d all see, then she’d rather get crushed and die first.

 _No_ _…_ **_no, no, no!_**

**Art [Clementine]**

That was one way to finish your day. Maybe offing an infected or two would help her feel less tired and groggy…

As the two tough ones set off on their spree, though, Clementine found that hanging back to watch the fireworks worked just fine for her. _Don_ _’t I miss that smell._ “Kick _ass,_ Ellie!” She shouted from her horse, somehow believing it was helpful. As far as Cat went… only took an odd glance, and Clem knew the type. Better they both stayed together. Never know when you’ll get pounced.

Well, Lydia didn’t seem to.

Clementine squeezed Blockhead’s sides, kicking her into a light jog. She scanned the scene — and what a scene it was. She _could_ _’ve_ shown up earlier to help… couldn’t she? _Maybe_ Clem thought Lydia had it coming, a little bit. “Whoa, you okay?” Clem deadpanned. “I _think_ I’ll need some help to get you out of there. Heavy stuff…”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Lydia’s cries distracted her, eyes darting towards the girl, and the massive corpse laid out on top of her. That moment of distraction, though, allowed another walker to latch onto her, sending them both toppling to the ground, her knife disappearing into the grass. Cursing, she tried to send the walker rolling off of her, taking in a heavy breath as she managed to flip them.

“Fuck you!” She shouted, grabbing for her pistol and smashing it against the walker’s forehead, hard enough to break through. It took several tries. Face covered in blackened blood, she pushed herself to her feet, just in time to hear the growls of another walker approaching her.

Lifting her machete, it buried itself into the walker’s arm, the strength behind her attack sending the walker tumbling to the side, with her weapon. _Jesus fuck, give me a fucking break—_ Another walker latched onto her back, and she was forced to fire a bullet through its skull, kicking it backward to keep it from taking her with it.

Disoriented, she rushed towards the other walker quickly, ripping the machete out and holding it down with her boot. She swung the machete like a golf club, narrowly missing its face. Instead, she sent its nasal bones flying through the air, before she cursed and tried again, sending the rest of its mushed-up head with it.

Sheathing her machete, then her discarded knife, she rushed towards Clementine and Lydia, dropping to her knees next to the blonde. Clementine leapt down from her horse, joining her. “Alright,” Ellie breathed, heavily. “On three, we push.”

She counted down, shouting the word “Three!” before putting every ounce of strength she had left to getting that walker off of Lydia.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

The walk up there was horrible. Kat was shivering through her coat the entire time, and not because she was cold. As she fell behind to let Carl and Ellie take the lead, she found herself hovering closer to Clementine, eyes glued on the others as she kept her knife close. Not like she had the ammo to use her gun. Of course, her calming demeanor fell the second she heard the ear-piercing screech from the clicker. She clasped her hands over her ears, eyes shut tightly.

“N—Not again… P—Please — Not again…” She whispered to herself, holding her blade tighter as the clicker fell. Despite its absence, she found herself on edge, moving closer to the battlefield with her ears ringing and her vision blurred. She backed away slowly from her spot, eyes moving around wildly for any sign for more of those awful… demons.

Her footsteps stopped as she felt her back press against a boney, cold surface. She looked back, just in time to dodge the hands of a walker, her blade flipping around in her hand as she thrust it forward. The knife pierced under its chin, her eyes widening as she quickly pushed down on the knife to snap the brain stem. As the walker fell, she crouched down to its side, pulling at the blade as hard as she could. As it breathed a fresh puff of air again, she fell back, sitting up just to pant quietly to herself. She was a mess; could barely focus. She just got who knew how lucky, and it’s not like that could keep happening. Rather than standing back up, she clutched her knees tightly, letting her chest rise and fall rapidly as she buried her head in her knees. “N—No more… G—Get them away… p… please…” If this was where she died, she wouldn’t exactly complain. Lydia just might get wish.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

If there was ever a moment where Lydia could beg for death, and it’d happen in an instant, this would be it. The girl fought her hardest, teeth gritting as she tried to push the damned piece of shit off herself. Nothing was working, and her strength was absolutely useless.

_You worthless fucking bitch, can_ _’t even kill two walkers without falling._

“J—Just stop, I can do it myself…” Lydia mumbled in a contorted mess, too hurt and worn out to draw complete sentences from her mouth.

“ _One_ _… two…_ ”

Too late, they were already counting down. With each number that followed, it felt like her heart started pumping ten times harder.

“ _Three!_ ”

The hulking monster rolled off her body, and as soon as Lydia could breathe properly, she scrambled backwards, on the verge of hyperventilation. She sat there, looking up at the two girls who peered down at her, too frightened and embarrassed to move.

With only a tank top to bear now, Lydia was at their mercy.

Old scars. From the wrist up to her shoulder, they coated both of her arms, barely leaving room for much skin to show. The skin around the scars were discolored, and blemishes could also be seen on her chest just below the neck, marks that were much too severe to properly fade away. They were everywhere, out for all to see, and no long-sleeve shirt or hoodie to help hide it this time.

Lydia stared at Clementine and Ellie, tears beginning to drizzle down her cheeks, hoping one of them would just pull out a gun and end her.

“Get away…” Lydia growled, begging them to stop looking. “ **I said get the fuck away from me!** ” She sobbed, reduced to the blubbering mess she always was. She didn’t dare move, her head eventually dipping to the ground in complete shame.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine stuck her hands where no girl should, entrails warming her fingers as she pushed the corpse away from Lydia. At least no one had been squished, even if it took getting blood under her nails. “We got you.”

But, Lyd wasn’t so happy to be saved. She was crying. Clem couldn’t get a good look at the scars, not that she had to. The corners of her mouth twisted upward in shock, baring her teeth whole. They stood out like a second layer of skin, ugly cuts, bruises and all. Whatever else she had to say, forgotten.

It was Cat’s voice that snapped her out of it. Clementine hadn’t been sure she heard it at first, but the thought only made her rush all the more. She grabbed the spear tied around her horse and urged it to trot back, leaving Lydia and Ellie on their own. Cat was on the ground, too, a lot like Lydia. Maybe that’s what drained the most color from Clementine’s skin. That, and the walker dragging its feet toward her.

Clem, in her own type of haze, took one step forward and jammed the edge of her spear through the back of its chest, stopping it in its tracks. It fought, swaying its arms, until Clementine pulled the spear out and pierced it through the thing’s skull. That’s when it finally fell like the corpse it was meant to be.

It was the second time Clementine sat still without a word to share. She knelt next to her, laying the spear down, and not knowing what to do with the empty hands she had left. Clem looked at Cat, curled up and terrified. Her eyes shot to Carl, and the walker still standing. “You got it?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Lydia’s outburst caught her by surprise, though maybe it shouldn’t have. She gave the scars covering her body a cursory glance before moving. She didn’t have time to focus on anything but making sure they were all safe. While Carl was left to deal with the last walker, she scrambled to her feet, dropping next to Kat.

“Hey, **hey** , you alright?” She’d never seen her so frightened. Honestly, Kat seemed so chill all the time, she half-expected nothing could ever bother her. She placed a hand on the girl’s cheek, moving her head, if only to make sure there weren’t any bites on her. Nothing she could see, anyway. “Everything’s okay. Carl’s got the last one, okay? C’mon, let me help you up.” She pulled away, holding out her hand for Kat to take.

**Art[Clementine]**

“Where’s Lydia? D’you just leave her there?” It hardly came out that way, in a whisper, but Clementine was the opposite of happy. If nothing else, the arch in her brows more than gave it away.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Hand closing, empty as can be, Ellie pushed herself back to her feet, glancing back towards the girl in question. Her voice emotionless, she treaded back the way she came. “She’s fine.” And clearly, she was. Yet, as Ellie pulled out her machete once more, her gaze took in the camp around them, waiting to see if anything else would pop out to attack them.

Kill two birds with one stone. Keep her distance from Lydia, since that’s so clearly what she wanted, and protect her all at the same time.

**Crimson [Carl Grimes]**

Carl kept his knife ready but Ellie was able to off the walker with relative ease. “Good job, now we get the rest.”

The girls attacked the walkers with ruthless efficiency. One by one their lifeless corpses hit the ground.

He saw Lydia fall and rushed to help but a walker got in the way. Fortunately Clem was able to help Lydia. Leaving him with just the walker to deal with. “Yeah, don’t worry,” he replied to Clem.

He held his knife tight as the walker approached him. It looked really old, probably had been bitten right at the beginning of everything. Regardless, it was just one walker.

As he lifted his knife for one swift strike to the temple. The walker tripped on the body of another undead. Carl had just enough time to dodge the falling body. The surprise made him drop his knife. He turned around to pick it up when the walker grabbed his foot, making him fall on his back.

The walker was quick to munch on Carl’s shoe, the rotten teeth struggling to bite through the thick leather. With not much time to think, Carl used his free leg to kick the walker in the forehead while he pulled his trapped foot away from its jaw. After a few kicks, the foot came right off, along with the walker’s entire jaw.

Carl quickly got on his feet and smashed the corpse’s head in with a stomp. After a quick inspection of his boot, he sighed in relief, the teeth hadn’t made it through.

“Everyone’s okay?” He joined the rest of the group. He looked around to look for Lydia. She was still on the ground. “It’s over.” He said approaching her, his hand extended to help her get up.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

She didn’t hear either girl approach her, her hands too busy entangling in her hair and yanking as hard has they could without ripping anything out. It was as if the world flickered between past and present, sounds that long haunted her echoing around her. That horrible clicking that seemed to move around her, closing ever so tightly in. It wasn’t until Ellie touched her did she jolt back, eyes wide with panic. The entire time she sat there, she had been holding back tears, and even now she refused to spill them. It’s too bad the mind had more control than her sense of will. The second the two girls and the fresh corpse came into focus, she began to shake and tighten her hands into the ground below her. A slow, steady stream of tears followed. She looked as if she’d seen a ghost, her skin being much paler than it previously was. “I… Is it gone…? Are you sure it’s gone…? Please, promise me it’s not coming back—”

Kat didn’t take Ellie’s hand in placement of wiping away her tears, eyes flashing off towards the corpse of the beast itself. It was slaughtered, obviously… but did that matter without some confirmation…?

**Dot [Ellie]**

As Carl finished off the last walker, and no more made themselves known in their surroundings, Ellie finally saw fit to relax, sheathing her machete once more. Approaching Lydia with quick steps, she took off her backpack, digging inside, then holding out her jacket for the blonde to take. “Here.” Her other jacket was on the ground nearby, completely soaked in blood.

She, herself, was soaked in blood. The feeling of the drying liquid on her face made her scrunch her nose, about ready to itch at it. Yet, she resisted, continuing to hold out the jacket.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

At this point, yelling at them to go away was simply a knee-jerk reaction, the first thing that came to the panicked girl’s mind.

Now Clementine left her there with _Ellie_ of all people, who was quick to ditch her right after, which wasn’t surprising at all. She sat by her lonesome next to the bodies which had just tried to tear her apart. Lydia was, quite frankly, still in absolute shock… too out of it to really acknowledge what was going on around her. A deadly mix of adrenaline and anxiety felt like it was taking over from the inside, causing her whole body to tremor.

Lydia just stared at the dirt for a while, cradling herself, a spaced out look on her face. Taking down those walkers was usually child’s play, but this time she’d botched it… so fucking hard. It was too embarrassing to bear. Then taking into account what Clementine and Ellie had seen… the thought made her physically ill.

_They know. Now everyone else will too._

She could already see everyone whispering at school, with a new weapon in their arsenal now, something they could use against the soon-to-be, newly acclaimed ‘deformed freak.’ One of them would spread her secret, for sure.

Carl took his sweet time to finally come and check up on her. Knowing what he knew about her condition, she was unhappy with how slow he’d been to get here. His hand came into view, and all Lydia did was glare at it with her puffy, misted eyes. She tilted her neck upwards, glaring at her ex-boyfriend’s face, with nothing but a filthy scowl to offer.

Lydia swatted his hand away, choosing to stand up by herself. After that pathetic display, the least she could do was try to retain _some_ dignity. The girl quickly dried her tears, turning her back on the one-eyed boy, refusing to indulge in accepting his pity.

Straight away, her attention shifted in the direction of a nearby crimson-soaked hoodie. Hugging herself, she lumbered over to it, kneeling down. Lydia pouted at the sight, realizing it’d been torn to shit, courtesy of walker number two. _Great._

The _last_ thing she wanted to do was ask for something new to wear, but at this point, a second wave of freak out was on the horizon if she didn’t get some new clothes to cover herself up with soon. Before it reached that stage, though, _Ellie_ was inbound, and Lydia had to fight the urge to shift backwards as she approached with quick steps. This time, tossing the redhead a simple glance was impossible.

“ _Here._ ”

Lydia’s eyes loomed over to see a fresh spare jacket in the other girl’s hand. For a good few seconds, she considered it, visibly uncomfortable, but self-conscious beyond belief. Which was why her disorientated mind didn’t need a moment longer to consider… Against her slewed judgment, which urged her to ask if Ellie was just doing it to look good, to tell her to stop pretending that she cared.

The blonde reached out with a still trembling hand to take it, with little choice but to accept the offer. At this point, desperation had sunk in so deep that she couldn’t care less who it was from. The jacket slipped on over her tank top, rather well too, since it seemed to be her size.

After all was said and done, Lydia didn’t say a word. Instead, the girl opted to direct a blank stare at her own feet, holding one arm in the other, hoping the attention would turn elsewhere.

**Dot [Ellie]**

The moment that jacket left her hand, Ellie went back to work. With Carl with Lydia, and Clementine with Kat, Ellie was the one left to check the lodge. As she clambered up the steps, onto its porch, she knocked on the door with the hilt of her blade. It didn’t take long for a pounding to emanate from the other side of the door. Two bangs, one after another… a single walker. She took a step back, pulling the door open, before descending the steps onto solid ground.

The walker emerged, snapping its jaws hungrily. Thinner than its counterparts, Ellie made short work of it, slicing the walker’s head off, stabbing through its skull once it landed on the ground.

Standing at the threshold, she heard silence within. That was a good sign.

As the others gathered themselves, Ellie went back to her horse, tying it to the fence surrounding the porch. Knife clutched in her hand, she searched the house, finding nothing but empty rooms. The air was stale, the stench of the undead filling the bottom floor like a bad omen. She ignored it. They had more pressing stuff to deal with.

Emerging from the building, she waved the others to her. “Place’s clear. C’mon.”

She silently hoped this place would have something for her to change into. Her white shirt was drenched red, wet and sticky and cold. Worst case scenario, she’ll just have to wash it out in the creek. Better stained red than covered in it.

**Art [Clementine]**

When the dust cleared, no one could have looked more relieved than Clem did, she was sure. Funny, too… having Ellie lead the hungry pack was one trend she hadn’t gotten used to. Since when was that a thing?

Seeing as everyone else was so eager… Clementine was happy to wait, wiping blood all over her jeans without a care in the world. _Besides_ the _one._

Lydia convened with Carl before Clem got her shot to touch base. Seemed wrong not to, even if her friend was a step over uneager. She knew one thing about Lydia and telling people off, and it was not to take it to heart. She usually didn’t mean it.

Who else was left?

The Savior girl hunched next to her, like… like a _cat_ after a storm. Seemed appropriate. Clementine had her concerns, but one thing needled at her mind: Cat was dead weight around infected. Weird quirk for Negan’s second-string, wasn’t it. “What’s up?” She asked, _that_ suddenly, and with no tact to spare. “I mean, before…”

“You scared of walkers?”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat’s gaze shot over to the girl, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as confusion washed over. Was she that off her game? “Walkers? No. They aren’t shit. I—” She bit her lip, sitting up a bit straighter. Smeared blood and tears were wiped across her cheek, her head resting on one of her hands.

“I’m not scared of walkers. They are just corpses that don’t know they’re dead yet. I… I’m scared of… clickers—It’s dumb, and really none of your business. I know you don’t exactly care, but uh… I dealt with some shit a few years back, so clickers tend to be a no-go for me. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freeze up like that. I tend to have my head in the past a bit too much for my own good, and I guess it hasn’t cleared up as much as I thought. Clickers… they uh- They’ve caused me a lot of grief, to put it plainly, and to avoid telling you my whole life story. Just… C—Can you please… tell me if it’s actually gone…?”

**Art [Clementine]**

_None of my business. Well, that_ _’s good._ Clementine, eyes shut, crossed her arms and sighed through her nose, frowning the whole while. “Whatever, kitten.”

“Just don’t wander off.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Everyone eventually made their way inside the lodge, settling in, while Ellie stood near the door. As Clementine passed, Ellie sent her an apologetic gaze, for getting snappy earlier. Though the moment lasted hardly a second.

As Kat entered last, she shut the door behind them. At least, for now, they can rest before checking out the rest of the camp. And Ellie could find some clean clothes.

She wasn’t sure which one sounded better.

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

Eventually, they all made it up the steep hill, Lydia warily trailing behind. When they entered the lodge, she quickly split off from the rest right when they started talking about picking the place apart for supplies. The girl had _other_ plans… Desperately needing to get away, she retreated down a random corridor without haste. Straight after she entered the nearest room, a slam of a door was quick to follow. Lydia used a nearby chair she’d found to barricade the door from the inside, propping it up against the knob so no asshole could casually open it from the other end. Once all was said and done, it was time to get comfortable. This is where she was going to be staying for the rest of the night, until next morning probably.

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

This place still had a surprising amount of shit left over. They’d found enough food to last them another day, which definitely helped given how little progress they’d made the day before. Kat had found a couple bullets for her gun and a cool gas mask shaped like a plague one from the… _it was a really long time ago, I think? Thirteen-hundreds? Fourteen-hundreds? Whatever._ Clementine had found a whole stash of bullets, or at least nearing a dozen, so at least their gun situation was looking better. Ellie’s find of the day had been a white t-shirt with a girl on it, with devil’s horns and a floating crown, along with some hoodie with a shield on it, with a star in the middle. Better than nothing, since she’d given hers away. But the real find…? A bar of fucking soap. How much she missed that already about living in Jackson. Lydia and Carl found some video camcorder upstairs, but hadn’t found batteries yet to turn it on. Suppose they would soon, wouldn’t they? They still had a couple more cabins to check.

Now, she had that t-shirt laid out next to her in the grass, just far enough away that she wouldn’t splash it by accident. Leaning towards the surface of the creek ahead of her, she splashed the water in her face, trying her best to scrub away the dried blood, before trying with the soap. Eventually, her skin felt clearer… it just took a few times to get there.

Her mind drifted, thinking back to that nightmare, each passing image forcing her to stop for a second, lest she get soap in her eye. She hated feeling like this, like she was being haunted. Haunted by her past, definitely, but at least ghosts weren’t really real, right?

_Right?_

Then there was the walker earlier, and how similar it looked to that asshole. Had she hesitated any longer, someone could’ve gotten hurt. Knowing that, and what already happened, letting herself freeze wasn’t an option anymore. What if a walker grabbed Clementine and she couldn’t…? _Fuck, just_ _… stop thinking about it._

Movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she dropped the bar of soap to the ground next to her knees. Clearing her throat, she tried to smile. “Hey, Clem. H—How’s everyone?” She was mainly curious about Kat, after that moment she had before, but Ellie hadn’t had a chance to check up on her yet.

**Art [Clementine]**

The sun was inbound for the valley behind the moss-green hills. Clem wished she could follow it there, over the rainbow. “Hey, bunhead.” Something was up. No biggie or nothin’... just that bolt of lightning in her chest. The type that struck when Ellie smiled at her, looking so damn pretty. Her _own_ look had to’ve been of a fool with a fly catcher for a mouth.

“I don’t know. Bad, I guess,” Clementine admitted, small sympathy in her eyes. “No one likes getting bloody.”

“That coming out alright, by the way?” Her head tilted slightly to the side, like every other time she set her mind to inspect something. That cozy little day, Ellie’s hair looked just a tiny bit more redder. “You looked... pretty cool. Back there.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Guess she shouldn’t be surprised. Lydia was being… Lydia, and Kat was likely still shaken up. Seemed like Carl was the only one that kept his head together under pressure, besides her and Clementine. Frowning, Clementine’s question brought her focus to her hair, and the itchy feeling of blood coating it. “Haven’t tried yet. You’d caught me before I could bathe.” She shrugged, sighing. “We got lucky with the soap. Don’t think it’d come out otherwise.”

To her comment, Ellie smiled. “Thanks,” she said, continuing in a half-hearted tone. “Tripp had us training like crazy to join the supply team. If you can’t protect yourself, you can’t go out. Guess that’s _something_.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“Show me a move sometime.” Clementine widened her smirk. “You _are_ the older one. You have to... I don’t know, _pass on your teachings._ Like in those kung fu movies.

“Anyway.” Clem lifted her chin up, arms crossed, and a smile leaking with sarcasm. “You look like you need help. Bet I could find you something in the lodge.

“Hm, that place is so old, though... might actually smell more than you do.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Pfft. What more could I teach you that you haven’t already learned before we even met?” Still, she returned the sarcastic smile with one of her own. “Nevertheless, I accept you as my apprentice. We train at dawn.”

Pushing herself to her feet, she grabbed her spare shirt carefully, tucking it back into her backpack. Better than getting it covered in blood while they searched for whatever it was Clementine needed to ‘help her’. Hopefully a bucket. Not easy washing hair in a two inch deep creek.

“Just don’t tell me I smell again. The Sensei doesn’t like that.” She couldn’t make herself seem serious saying that out loud.

**Art [Clementine]**

“I’ll try, Elle.”

They took to the big scary cabin no one had called dibs on. You’d have to be crazy to sleep there anyway. Place was probably haunted by whoever lived there. Clem went in first, opening the old front door with her good hand.

She tried to imagine what it looked like before: tables loaded with dinner plates, the smell of food ushered on past the window. Bright yellow lights shining across the wooden floor, before it was infested with termites. It gave Clementine all the courage she needed to light a flashlight on and explore. “Hope you guys cleared it good...”

It wasn’t just getting dark, it was getting quiet, too. She really would’ve killed to hear the singing of a bird instead of the creaking of the floor. Clem followed along the walls to where they led. And where it led was... somewhere interesting.

“There’s a big hole there. You see it?” Not on the wall, like you’d think, but on the floor. A big chunk of empty space dividing the hallway in two. Wasn’t that deep, though. The real issue was all the mud at the bottom. Clementine, with all her insight, couldn’t help but imagine some type of disgusting thing down there as well. Like a snake... or The Bogeyman. Anyone else would have turned back. But anyone else wouldn’t have been looking for the bucket lying on its side, drowned by a thick layer of sludge, and easy to reach for if you could do it from across.

Assuming you could jump it.

“Wanna rock-paper-scissors for it?” Clementine asked, dreading the thought.

**Dot [Ellie]**

That cabin, mixed with the company she kept, brought her back to a worse time. Eying the gap Clementine had found, she judged the distance. They’d need a helluva jump. Seemed almost easier to just trudge through the hole, but who knew what was down there. Snakes? Mice? Both? _Pfft. No. The snakes would_ _’ve eaten them already, dummy._

She was pushed out of her thoughts by the offer of a timeless classic. Having no objections, she smiled. “Oh, you’re so going to lose.”

A count of three later, they let loose, Clementine coming in hot with a clenched fist, and Ellie with the flat hand. A silent ‘yes!’ left her as she returned her gaze to the hole.

“Alright, well… I’ll be right here.” _Let_ _’s see how this goes._ “I’ll make sure you don’t sink into the mud.” She smiled a little at that, taking several steps back to allow the girl room.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Asshole,” said her girlfriend, who had a big jump to make.

Clementine pulled at the brim of her hat, to make sure it didn’t fly away on its own. She took the needed steps back, leaned forward and bolted down the hallway. Her boot planted on the floor an inch before the ledge, Clem jumped all the way across the gap. Though her chest landed before her arms, Clementine held on, climbing up the edge. “I got it!”

_Kind of._

Finally, Clem reached down the hole and pulled the bucket up from where it lay buried. Her hands were plenty dirty before, so this was no great loss. “Gonna jump back now, okay?” All it’d take were the same steps, the same leap, the same cool landing, but with a bucket in her arms. Clementine jumped across one more time. No sweat.

That is, until said landing came, and she nearly lost her footing. Like a hand pulling her back, Clementine’s blood went cold as she held back a shriek. The cabin ghost had come for her, and it wanted her covered in mud.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Clementine wobbled, balance going whack. Ellie reached out to try and stop her from falling into the hole, but the girl’s backward momentum proved too much. Cursing, Ellie found herself yelping as they fell into the hole. Clementine let go of the bucket—or maybe the bucket let go of her, at this point Ellie couldn’t tell which was which—and it fell to the muddy ground next to them, spilling its contents. The two girls, however, landed straight into the mud.

Groaning, Ellie tried to push herself up, but the mud made it difficult to even move. Instead, her face was filled with the fabric of Clementine’s shirt, over what she assumed was the girl’s stomach. Coughing, realizing that the girl’s knee had collided with her own stomach, Ellie croaked out for her girlfriend. “Clem? You okay?” The ballcapped girl took the brunt of the fall, though maybe the mud hadn’t been all that bad.

If it was anything like what Ellie had felt through the force of Clementine’s knee, then maybe not. _Fucking ow._

**Art [Clementine]**

Clem heard, felt, and _tasted_ the splash of mud behind her. There was no sound after... just the shock of the cold paste dripping down her ear. That’s when she knew. “Oh, _ew..._ ” Clementine spat to the side until there was none of it left in her mouth anymore. A good start, if there was any.

“Hey, can you move? You’re kinda on top of me.” Clem let out a loud, unearned chuckle. No snakes down there! Just Ellie. What a day...

**Dot [Ellie]**

“I’m _trying_ ,” Ellie stressed through a wheeze, deciding to stop trying to push herself to her feet and instead use the jagged edge of the wooden hole. Carefully. It worked, if only to place her knees into the mud. Too bad about not getting those jeans dirty. Pushing herself to her feet, she set herself down on the edge, holding out her hands to help Clementine up.

“If anyone asks, this never happened.”

**Art [Clementine]**

“Yeah, ‘cause I so wanted to tell Lydia all about it.” Clem, keeping her laugh in check, didn’t hesitate to grab Ellie’s hands whatsoever.

That stuff went all over. Her eyes were full of mud, the flashlight was full of mud, her _socks_ were _full of mud._ Had to’ve been her worst idea in a while. “Can we go use that bucket now?”

**Dot [Ellie]**

So they were holding hands again now… that—that was a thing. It wasn’t a long walk—unfortunately—back to the creek. Ellie took the bucket and filled it with water, splashing it out, in hopes of cleaning out the remaining mud in there. It flowed downstream in brown clumps, disappearing into the forest. Eventually, it was clean enough to use. She filled it up with water, placing it next to the creek as she sat down. Well, her jeans were already ruined anyway, so maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. She’d just have to leave them out to dry later, when she finally had the privacy of her own room for the night.

“I’ll help you clean up after,” she said, looking towards the muddy girl next to her. She’d kill for the showers back home right about now. Clementine indicated for her to lay out, so she could wash her hair, and Ellie did as she was told, looking towards the gray sky above.

The water was _fucking cold_ , but she tried her best not to squirm. Instead, choosing to voice the demons that’ve been bothering her all day. Perhaps it was finally time to just… talk about it. Bottling it up this past year hadn’t done much good for her…

Sighing, hair soaked through with water and a small amount of soap, she glanced towards Clementine above her. “I, uh… I keep having dreams. About Simmons.” _Great start, Ellie. Excellent segue._ “About what he did to us. To you, and Lee, and… what he was gonna do to me.” She shivered, and not from the cold.

“I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in I don’t know how long?” She continued, eyes drifting. “The dreams keep coming, and they’re all different, but he’s always in them. Doing something _worse_ than the one before. It’s like the fucker’s haunting me from the grave.”

She fell silent, closing her eyes. Somehow, he was still there, vivid as the day she’d killed him. A monster in a man’s body, lip missing and bleeding. She opened her eyes again, trying to relax her muscles, to no avail. “He tried to—” She choked. “And I—Fuck. I just… I _bit his lip off_ , Clementine. I fucking—”

“I just want him to leave me the **_fuck_** alone.” Bitterness seeped into her tone, vile like poison. She rubbed at her eyes, then, roughly. “It’s over. I _know_ he’s gone. But, I just… I can’t—”

She stopped then, feeling like she’d said too much. These thoughts had been lingering for so long, they felt like they’d made a permanent residence in her mind. She fucking hated him. She hated him so much that she wished he was here now, just so she could _kill him again_.

Worst of all, she hated that she felt that way. She closed her eyes again, hoping that her hair would soon be clean. At least, then, she could make herself useful.

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine’s jersey lay next to the other pile of dirty clothes, begging to be tossed into a river. Better that way, even if the short sleeves underneath turned her skin to ice. With the sun gone, the red in Ellie’s auburn hair had all but left with it. Chunks of mud and blood, woven into brown streaks. Clem ran her fingers through the roots of her hair all the way down to the ends, working from top to bottom. Always gentle.

As far as talking went, she was nothing if not deliberate, taking in the pauses to sink into thoughts of her own. Heavy stuff like that... was _not_ her forte. She could think of one person who’d know what to say...

“Lee would tell me... ‘It’s just a bad dream.’” She rinsed, squeezing out drops of excess water. Clementine had to fight back a frown. “I have those all the time.”

Her hands didn’t quite stop in one place, though Ellie’s hair was well and washed. It was good enough to keep them somewhere soft, so they wouldn’t tremble. “You know what I do? I... I don’t think about it. And... sometimes it’s harder than that. Sometimes I can’t.”

“But I know it’s easier when you’re around.”

Clem shook her hands around to dry them out in the wind, looking very much stuck in her own head. She was glad Ellie was facing the other way, missing out on the wrinkles on her forehead that told everyone she was struggling. “So... you can come to me, if you’re scared.” Clementine, sudden as she was, hugged Ellie from behind, crossing her arms around her chest like an unbreakable shield.

“I’ll do this. Whenever you need.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

_What about when you_ _’re gone?_ She wanted to ask that, but she knew better. Was it wrong that she didn’t feel any different? Clementine was trying, and Ellie loved her for it, but a problem like this wouldn’t just… go away.

“Thinking too much has always been my weakness,” she said, sighing. “But someone once told me that stuff like this is just… rocks… weighing you down. Drowning you.” She let out a single, dry chuckle. “Funny. I don’t even know how to swim. No wonder it’s so easy.”

Hands clasping around arms, squeezing them, Ellie wriggled out of her grip, allowing Clementine to take her place. Time for _her_ to play hairdresser.

“You know it goes both ways, right?” She said, lathering her hands in soap. “I’ll always be here for you. And I, uh… kinda miss the old days. The sleepovers. Having you there just… always made me feel safer. I’d do that for you, too. If I could.”

She fell silent, if only for a moment. Thoughts bubbled to the surface: anger and grief, guilt and regret, love and warmth, so many conflicting things that mixed together into a single, anxious feeling.

“I don’t like feeling helpless,” she said, nearly a mumble as she gently worked through Clementine’s curly hair, taking care not to let her fingers catch and pull. No one was getting hurt today. “I don’t like knowing that my actions hurt someone I care about. I’m—I’m not letting that happen again.” She knew for a fact that she was letting it happen again, purely by letting Clementine leave Jackson on her own.

She didn’t voice that fact.

“The next time I see a Simmons out there, I’m pulling the trigger,” she vowed.

**Art [Clementine]**

“Me too,” Clementine answered, though she didn’t sound half so sure. The cold water running down her neck made her fight and flinch, like a fussy child. Ellie must’ve been the only other person she’d let anywhere near her hair.

But Clem smiled to herself, knees and elbows huddled together to put up with the chill. “I like how I feel now, though.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

Since when was Clementine the one making things mushy? Ellie smiled, a lopsided thing, while massaging the soap through the girl’s hair one last time. At least Clementine couldn’t see it. She was tired of looking stupid.

“Oh yeah?” She asked, voice warm. “What’s that?” She knew the answer, but if Clem was gonna be a sap for five minutes, she might as well tease her for it.

**Art [Clementine]**

Ellie could only see the back of her ears turn rosy, no hair to hide them behind. It was no hard question. Clem felt safe. Heard and understood. She felt sunny even though it was nighttime, bright without a light. Most of all, she was in love, in all the silly ways you could be. She loved living that moment, not because it wouldn’t end, but because she knew it would. And she knew just how much she’d miss it.

Was that... too much?

“Uh...” Clementine watched the creek flow right under her toes, keeping her cards close to her chest. Though her giggle certainly betrayed her. “You know.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

All the horrible things forgotten, Ellie couldn’t help herself from smiling deviously. She liked seeing Clementine so flustered; it was a rare thing. Then again, so were moments like these. Even more so now.

Hair as clean as could be, she leaned in from behind her, her mouth near the girl’s ear.

“Do I?” she asked.

Pulling away, pushing herself to her feet, she circled around Clem, dropping to her knees in front of her. Funny how, even on their knees, Ellie still towered over her a couple inches. Yet, it was hard not to notice that Clementine had grown a little since she was kicked out. Guess time _really was_ a thing. Leaning in, she planted a kiss on the girl’s forehead.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

**Art [Clementine]**

Clementine rubbed timidly at where Ellie had kissed, holding on to the smile she didn’t want to share. “Okay, that’s enough,” grumbled the tired girl, “...or I’m _gonna_ push you.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

_Fair enough._ She chuckled at the girl’s response, shaking her head. “Buzzkill,” she said playfully, pushing herself to her feet, dusting herself off. Returning to the shore, she slipped on her socks and shoes once more, thankful that some part of her outfit wasn’t soaked through. At least she still had the spare shirt.

The sky was turning shades of orange and black, the sun disappearing beneath the mountains. She was just happy they had the light long enough to finish up. “Alright, um… guess it’s time for me to go change. This shirt feels _fucking horrible_.” Slinging her backpack over her shoulders, she looked towards Clementine again, for a second too long.

She broke the eye contact, smiling as she playfully saluted with two fingers. “See ya later, Ballcap. Thanks for the, uh, pep talk. And everything else.”

Awkwardly, she began to trudge back through the field, towards the lodge. Some small part of her felt disappointed, but that’s just how things were, wasn’t it?

_Alright, focus. We still got a long road ahead of us._

* * *

**Dot [Ellie]**

Getting her hair to dry took a while without a towel. Instead, she’d used some shirt she’d found earlier that was much too small for her to wear, speeding up the process a bit. Now in clean clothes, and a pair of shorts she’d overlooked before—to allow her jeans to dry—she returned downstairs. Here, massive windows gave almost picturesque views of the camp, the hills and mountains, and ultimately, an easy way to make sure nothing was coming up on them.

She found Kat sitting in a rocking chair near one corner of the room, and Ellie waved gently as she approached.

“Hey… You doing okay?” She asked, quietly, before taking the lounge chair next to her. After her freak-out earlier, Ellie couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t check up on her. She’d done the same thing for her once, a long time ago.

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“Huh…?” Kat perked up as Ellie’s voice prickled at her ears, drawing her attention from her book, which she happily closed and re-stored in her bag as Ellie took a seat. There wasn’t much time to read nowadays, so it’s best to take whatever time you could get.

Of course, when the subject turned to the one topic she hoped everyone would ignore, her welcoming smile dropped to one of more embarrassment. “Oh, uh. Yeah. I guess I’m doing a bit better. Sorry for choking up on you guys.” She leaned on her hand, the chair quietly creaking as it swayed ever so gently along with her.

**Dot [Ellie]**

“It’s okay if you’re not okay,” she said, knowing that she sounded ridiculous. “I mean—I totally get it.”

Relaxing into the chair, she ran a hand through her hair, mentally preparing herself to talk about this _once again_. “There was a walker out there. Looked like someone I knew. It almost got me, too.” She smiled then, hoping it’d help. “Then I thought about everyone else, and I knew what to do.

“So don’t apologize, okay…?” She continued, breathing in. “I know what it’s like. I know what you’ve been through.” She didn’t want to pry too much. She remembered Kat’s story about her ex, who left her to die with a bunch of clickers, and the thought of it was enough to make her blood broil.

“And, um, if you ever wanna talk about it, I’m always here for you.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

Kat’s eyes seemed to scan Ellie as she spoke, her expression unreadable, dull. As Ellie spoke of her own issues, Kat seemed to look away, looking over at the window. “The past has a funny way of sneaking up on you. I guess we both have rocks we’re struggling to swim with.” She forced out a laugh, looking back to the girl as she let her smile drop once more.

“I think I’m more curious on if _you_ _’re_ okay or not. Talking is a two way game,” she said, straightening up to get a better look at the girl.

**Dot [Ellie]**

Ellie nodded once, smile faltering. “I’m okay,” she assured, though not that convincingly. Thinking about Simmons had its ways of breaking down her mental barriers, though everything she’d said before helped… in a way. “I’ve gotten to talk about it, recently. It’s… a lot to take in.”

She smiled, then, a sardonic thing. “The past is a bitch, ain’t it?”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

The girl stifled a laugh, shaking her head. “Tell me about it. The present isn’t too pleasant either. Maybe if we’re lucky, we can have a better future. Heh, the second I get the chance, I’d love to leave everything behind and live somewhere like this. You can’t tell me the view isn’t gorgeous.” Kat said, nodding towards the horizon with a smile. She was always a sucker for sunsets, sunrises, starry skies, and well… gorgeous views.

“I could argue the light leaves a nice glow on your smile, too. Glad to see you get to have one, E. You worked hard for your girl.”

**Dot [Ellie]**

“I’m right there with you, K. Place like this… besides the infected we had to deal with, it’s… calming. Nothing like home.” She’d be tempted to live here if they weren’t so far away from everything. Having electricity was nice, too.

When Kat brought up Clementine, Ellie couldn’t help but smile wider. Was it that obvious…? “Yeah…” She breathed, eyes trailing towards the window. “I’m gonna miss her. When she’s gone. It’s hard to think about that part of it, but I can’t forget that this’s only temporary.

“Some small part of me knows we’ll see each other again, but… I just… hope it won’t be too long, yeah? Life has a funny way of surprising you, though. Both good and bad.”

**Vi-xen [Kat]**

“She’ll come back. You found a good one, and… that’s rare these days. With everything that happened, you’re still working out. Not many people get a chance like that. You mess up once, and it’s all over. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try… and try… nothing happens. Nothing comes out of all your work to maintain your relationship, and they leave you for some… prick so into himself that he might as well have fucking married his reflection. And you sit and wonder for months on months what you did wrong—And how do I fix it…? And will she ever take me back, or am I not good enough? And… and if it’s not my fault, then did she ever actually love me? Maybe she was confused when it happened, and she has yet to find time to talk to me…? I—Ahem… What I mean, is… this hypothetical situation didn’t happen to you… cause you… you made it. You found someone who gets you…”

Kat seemed to force a small smile, looking away from them just long enough to wipe the tear that begged to escape her eye. Yeah, she had baggage, but hey, that didn’t matter. She’s a Savior, so she’s not supposed to feel like this.

**Dot [Ellie]**

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Kat was talking about her ex. Hearing about it, it made her heart sink. Kat didn’t deserve to be treated so callously. She tried to smile back, although weakly. “Well, clearly they don’t see what they’re missing out on.”

With that, she stood up, patting the girl’s shoulder before pulling away. There was still much to do before bedtime, and Ellie wasn’t sure if there was much more she could do _here_. Knowing that Kat was okay, at least a little bit, set her mind at ease.

Now they just had to keep it that way, for however long this journey takes.

* * *

**LadyLedge [Lydia]**

With each second that passed, it felt like the flow of time was gradually slipping away into a pit of uncertainty. Minutes felt like hours, or did the hours feel like minutes? Either way, Lydia had given up on trying to keep track.

The peculiar scent of a dusty carpet lingered in her nose, smelling how it looked: like a rundown room with worn out fixtures and fittings. It bore a striking resemblance to the place she had in Jackson. Unlike that one, there was no peace of mind here, taking into account the several other people who were under the same roof.

A nauseating sense of claustrophobia was coming back, like the air was getting humid and dry, anxious that she’d start choking with every breath. Last time she recalled this sensation was in Andrea and Carl’s house. When the girl was too scared to turn those corners, knowing that woman would be there, watching her like a hawk. Worried that the Whisperer girl was going to corrupt her ‘precious Carl’. She never had to say it… but Lydia knew.

Eventually, sitting down in dead silence became too much. That was when she finally retreated to the bathroom, half a bottle of water and a rag in hand. Reluctantly so, she found the mirror, a rusted out sink straight below it which she used to place down the items.

Both hands outstretched, they gripped either side of the sink, using it as support as she leaned forward. Lydia’s head dipped, taking a moment to compose herself with a big breath. Then, she forced herself to look.

Her blonde was now part crimson, hair messy in the reflection, eyes still looked a bit red from earlier, but parts of her face were _much_ redder, courtesy of walker blood. Least she could do was get it off.

As she fumbled with the water bottle, only then did she realize how badly her hands were still shaking. Bad enough to make twisting a lid feel like the most impossible task in the world. Until it popped off, falling to the ground, a hollow _click_ echoing across the tiles as she watched it roll away.

She set the bottle aside after dabbing the rag in some water. Looking down at the hand that held the piece of cloth. The trembles were getting worse. _Don_ _’t do this. Not now._

The teenager closed her eyes, quickly grabbing her wrist in an effort to steady it. Breathing was the key, wasn’t it? Slowly, through deep inhales, she placed the wet rag to her cheek, wiping away the blood stain.

Working her way down the neck, she peeled back Ellie’s jacket far enough that her shoulder were exposed, cleaning off the gore that had trickled under.

Every second in the mirror was agonizing, as was resisting the urge to tear her eyes away from her own reflection. The thudding in her chest became harder, as did the scrubbing on her shoulder, like the two were in complete sync. Blood disappeared to make way… not for clean, healthy skin. But the sight she dreaded most. Those disfiguring marks that clung to her like a lifelong curse. Ones that the rest had now seen.

A cold shockwave shot through her body, she hated staring at them, so much… yet, she didn’t stop, she couldn’t. Lydia’s poker face, within a matter of minutes, began to crumble. Harder and harder, she rubbed at skin that was already clean. Her face was scrunching up, eyes beginning to burn, a mixture of grunting and whimpering.

_“Cry.”_

“No,” Lydia whispered back through gritted teeth, short and panicked breaths leaving her. The rag wasn’t working, so she scraped away at the scars even harder.

_“You can’t get rid of us, neither can you live as one of_ **_them._ ** _You know you can_ _’t._ **_So cry,_ ** _Lydia._ _”_

Dropping the rag to the ground, Lydia started to use her nails instead, sobbing in agony the deeper she tore away at her shoulder. She wanted them gone, her ravaged body beyond repair, she wanted it all to disappear. What had she done to deserve being born a Whisperer? Why did it have to be her? **Why?**

The burning on her skin became too much to bear, and her nails started to draw blood. Having exhausted her options, Lydia screamed at the top of her lungs at the mirror, screeching in the face of the complete wretchedness that stared back at her.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, in a fit of rage, she balled up her fist and sent it flying towards the mirror without a care in the world, shattering it. Immediate pain shot up her hand, blood spewing from where shards of glass were embedded in her knuckles.

Squeezing her eyes shut to snap back the tears, Lydia grabbed both sides of her hair, viciously pulling on it. Like she’d reverted back to a mindless beast that didn’t know what to do. All the memories, the only way she could get them out was to distract herself with pain. Finally, the adrenaline-fueled girl dropped to her knees, weeping, slinking down into a fetal position onto the cold bathroom tiles. Blood continuously gushed out of her hand, forming a small pool. Not that she cared much.

Even now, she could feel her mother’s eyes on her, smiling in amusement. The damage had been done, and there would never be anything she could do to reverse it. **Never.**


End file.
